AIBU to want an extension to escape snoring OH

[Ginlinessisnexttogodliness]

Night after night. It's driving me mad. He's gone down on the sofa bed. We need a five bedroomed house as this is intolerable. Plus expecting our third child. Two extra rooms needed. Nobody sleeps well apart from DS who is a dream sleeper. DD wakes frequently and I can't get sleep thanks to puffing billy next to me so I wake him. No chance of putting a baby in with DD as a pin dropping sets her radar off. I don't want to risk DS being woken up with her nighttime sing songs and cot pogoing.

Who else suffers this.
What can I do?

Please tell me you ended up,with a snazzy bedroom for guests that really you sneak into every night and whisper "Thank Christ for you, guest bedroom"

I can't persuade him to try the "old fart strips" and he isn't overweight just very tired and a heavy sleeper.

I feel awful but am so sleep deprived I'm climbing the walls. I've tried going to bed before him but he comes in and wakes me up, prattling about with the sliding wardrobe or slamming windows closed as he lies to be hermetically sealed to sleep. Aaaaarrrgh the incompatibility of it all!

He's stormed out calling me a fucking bitch....oops

There are cheaper remedies, like dragging his backside to the Dr's to see if he has sleep apnea, plus various things exist that you could both use.

I've started talking in my sleep because I'm a bit stressed. So I've been on the sofa this w/e DH shouting my name saying shut up.

Oh gawd I sympathise - my exH was like this when our children were little. I tried everything - going to bed and to sleep before him, earplugs with the pillow wrapped around my head, I'd jab, thump, kick, poke him - nothing worked.

Most nights I decamped to the sofa in the living room downstairs which was on the other side of the house to our bedroom - yet even with ear plugs in I could STILL hear him.

The most annoying thing was his refusal to address it and gettingcross with me when exhausted and sleep deprived (from his snoring and getting up to kids throughout the night) I would try to discuss it with him.

I now have a partner who sleeps silently, its blissful but I do remember those dark sleep deprived early years. He has a new partner now and I often wonder how she copes. The kids stay with them and say he still snores really badly.

Last night I slept in with dh, consequently I am exhausted today after a very broken nights sleep. Previous 2 nights I slept in spare room, oh the bliss! He has sleep apnoea but "only" stops breathing on average 6 times an hour and it needs to be more than 10 to do cpap, so no treatment. He's also resistant anyway about it (we're mid 20's and married 2 years, not exactly sexy but then neither is me sleeping in spare room ) and compliance is very low generally. He's not overweight but has a short chin. My dad has sleep apnoea and uses cpap every night, it's made a huge difference to him and my mum in terms of sleep! It's hellish....

My DH snores like a friggin steam train, I would love to see the ear plugs that would keep that noise out. Ear plugs of all types are useless against it. It's a pity, but it's true. That's my experience anyway.

We have separate rooms, it's the only way it works.
He's had two operations that both worked for about 6 months and then back to normal. His two brothers are the same and his brothers, who live in different parts of the country have had ops on their noses and throats.
Nothing works.

You may need the extension. In fact if it was me and I didn't have my little room to sleep in peacefully I'd be planning one as I type.

Who are all these selfish fuckers who care more about their own comfort or not 'looking like a twat' (you're in bed FFS not out at a nightclub!) than their partner getting a good night's sleep??

Sleep deprivation is AWFUL, there's a reason they use it as torture.

Why won't he use the strips? That's really selfish. They work pretty well for my DH, not perfect but a big improvement. The last few nights he's used a nasal wash thing - it's like a watering can for the nose, saline warm water washes through, took about a minute and I've not heard a single snore. (Could be coincidence)

If you're serious about the extension and have time of your hands, or a bored teenager, there's Google CAD, where you can pretty much build your existing house, really straight forward. Then challenge them with adding 2 bedrooms & an ensuite.

If you don't have time or a bored teenager, as long as you don't want me to Magic it up today, a bored Fairytales would play about for you.

I can't believe this is what my life has come to but that is pretty much my idea of fun.

For everyone else, Google CAD is free and really easy to use.

Have the extension if you can afford to and your house is suitable. Sleeping together can be vastly overrated and many people sleep separately for this reason.

Uncle has just been diagnosed with sleep apnoea and the CPaP worked instantly apparently. He's very overweight and rather unhealthy though.

I used to snore. Used to wake myself up, as well as DH. It was because of my weight, even though I was officially a healthy weight according to the chart. I always felt like I could spare a few pounds though, so I dieted to see if that made a difference. I moved into the spare room voluntarily in the meantime to let DH sleep.

I lost half a stone and that's all it took to fix it. I don't snore any more.

However, we both slept so much better in separate rooms we have made it a permanent arrangement! I didn't realise how much DH's shifting about, coughing and farting used to disturb me. And there are other things like him preferring windows shut and me preferring open...he likes a feather duvet, I like cotton fibre etc) Now we only sleep together if we have guests using the spare room (apart from visiting each other's rooms for cuddles ). I'm always glad to get back to my cool, peaceful sanctuary and sleep blissfully, starfish-like under my cotton duvet.

Go with the extension. If you have the space and the funds...it's so worth it!

I know ur pain. Fortunately my OH works away 😀
When he is at home he keeps me awake all the time - I find pinching his nose works well!!

I feel your pain!. My DPs snoring has gone to another level the past year & a half. Luckily we have a spare bedroom but on holiday last year, we didnt have an extra bed so it was terrible. It seems to be a weight issue for my DP, working shifts & approaching 50 has seen his weight creep up, not helped by a fondness for cider. Its an awful thing to put up with & YADNBU to want an extention to escape it! We were looking at a weekend away earlier in the year but I was honest & said I couldn't summon any enthusiasm for sharing a room with him. He accepted its an issue & is going to try (again) to lose weight but I won't be holding my breath.

My DH has sleep apnoea (diagnosed in late 40s - slightly overweight but lifelong snorer anyway) - cPAP revolutionised both our lives - he was so tired with snoring he couldn't work properly and I was on the sofa more often than not. Well worth pursuing a diagnosis and using the machine for anyone who might be thinking about it.

I can recommend a SomnoGuard mouth guard. DP bought one after I reached the point of nearly killing him due to lack of sleep.

Also rather than prodding or poking snorers just make a clicking sound with your tongue from the roof of your mouth (the sort of noise you make as a child to imitate the trot of a horse IYSWIM) - that tends to shut them up and takes less physical effort than rolling over and prodding them

Another nightmare snoring husband here,I was ready to stab him to death one night and insisted he go to the doctor.He did,and he had sleep apnea,and is sooooo much better now he has the CPAP.He's so well rested now,he wasn't sleeping well himself before,and I actually quite like the gentle sound of the CPAP keeping him alive.No snoring since he got it

Snoring, twitching, moaning, sleep talking, arguing, kicking, farting....then wants to know why you are cranky the next day...yup, get that.

Separate rooms here too.

Bliss.

OMG! Do I feel your pain......spare room is the only way to get a decent night sleep. My OH says he saw a doctor (20yrs ago) and that is why he won't go again......says he's tried everything (20yrs ago)...long before we got together. When it's bad I can hear him through the floor and two closed doors. Decent earplugs don't work....the only thing that does is a swift kick up the backside which causes him to wake and a despatch to the spare room. Good luck!

I secretly jump for joy in my head when DH announces he will have to work away. I genuinely become excited at the thought of a night (or 2 if Im super lucky!) in my own bed in silent bliss!

😱 this is me and I always feel so guilty. He was away for 4 nights in a row last month. Pure bliss 😳

I've always described my evenings as wanting to saw my arm off to throw at Dh. Last night he asked me to turn down my iPad (watching tv in bed) because it was too loud. Twat. I barely sleep all night, every bleeding night, because of a fucking 120db noise coming from his nose, and my little iPad is making noise for him 🙄 Fuck off.

I have a "guest" room made up all the time and use it every now and then to catch up on my consistent broken nights sleep. My wardrobe is in there and it is slowly becoming my room.

Hi
{Snoring, twitching, moaning, sleep talking, arguing, kicking, farting....then wants to know why you are cranky the next day...yup, get that.}
Do you know my wife?

If he snores that bad then he has an issue with his throat muscles and/or soft pallet. They can both be rectified. Ask for an ENT referral or google the snore DR who was on 'this morning'. He cures snoring in 2 weeks with his book.

He called you a fucking bitch? Has he apologised? My DH would be out of my bed for that, snoring or no snoring.

Yep. Me too. I get borderline red misty with it. HOWEVER DP now works abroad Mon-Thurs. So I get 3, sometimes more, nights of bliss. Though I swear if I listen really carefully I can still hear the great rutting-walrus-on-heat-with-asthma bellows drifting over the Channel...

He is currently interviewing for a new job a 6 minute commute from our front door, so would obviously be home every night. Everyone's all 'oo, stinking, you'll get him home again, how wonderful', meanwhile, sleep-greedy cow that I am, there's a very big part of me hoping against hope he doesn't get it.

I'm a strident snorer, and have been all my life. I can't help it.

I've had 4 (very painful) operations to try to deal with it, and none have had any long-term success.

Honestly, I know it is frustrating, but your poor DH can't help it.

I have a friend who is a ENT consultant. He advised that Mandibular Advancement Devices seem to help (ideally fitted by a dentist), or wait for it - playing the didgeridoo

I'm lucky that DH seems to be a fairly heavy sleeper, although I do sometimes get a gentle push from him.

I have noticed that the quality of my sleep has improved when I have cut out gluten & dairy, although I don't know if that is as a result of less snoring.

My hubby isn't overweight or that old but is a deep sleeper-the strips work best for us. I like to be able to listen out for ds in case he needs anything (so ear plugs are not an option)

On the snoring app, my DH was in the top 98% of its user database for both volume and duration of snoring. Fucker. Bearing in mind you're only gonna use it it you snore, that's some snoring achievement

We have separate rooms now , he honestly didn't believe me until I downloaded this app,I've cried with frustration some nights! It IS torture.