Please give opinions on this as I'm told I'm very unreasonable.
DP has a friend. More of a mate to be honest. They are now in their forties and first met early 20s at work.
When DP got with his now ex wife and was with her for 11 years the mate wasn't on the scene classic lost touch etc etc
Made friends again in recent years via fb.
Friend lives 200 miles away.
I met friend and his woman quite early in our relationship. Right away she spent the whole evening going on about how much money she had made a massive deal. Got drunk very quickly was very loud and quite embarrassing and had to pulled away from trying to wrench my handbag off me because she liked it and thought she should have it!
My DP says friend has issues with her drinking and behaviour.
I think she had issues about money as DP had told his mate I lived in a big house etc which is not because I have money but needed as my child is disabled from birth negligence.
Despite this I offered and suggested they were welcome to come stay and we could go into London etc as in outskirts and the lads could go play golf.
They never came despite me asking DP to invite them and suggesting we go visit them (would stay in hotel) as I had friends in same area too but nothing.
Fast forward six months and I plan DP 40th.
First people I messaged was this mate to say in four months time it's his birthday do you think you could come down. I was thinking surprise party but few weeks later decided to have a lovely weekend in London.
I said I would pay for hotel meals theatre they just needed to get here and pay for drinks and their spends at casino.
I asked a few times he kept saying he has to sort work so this was causing me not to be able to book till two weeks before and more fobbing off I just booked for me and DP.
Had a lovely weekend but then this mate and his woman launched as to what I can only describe as a bitch fest at me on fb neither had befriended me but on his page etc
People noticed I was upset and I explained about how his mate had let him down and not replied to even say sorry work etc can't make it.
At this point friend lied through his teeth claimed I had never even invited him. Luckily I still had the messages on fb so could prove I had and mate had acknowledged.
This caused massive issue as mate made up other lies as to what I had said claimed I must have deleted messages but refused to screenshot things to show my DP
DP believed him jumped down my throats was very nasty and hurtful to me and took me hours to point out mate was lying and get him to believe me
DP thinks I should just get over this says it's all my fault that I am driving his friends away wtf??
He has many issues with strange thinking like this.
He thinks I should hold no hurt
He thinks he shouldn't have to call out friend for lying to him and about me
He thinks I am being unreasonable
I think he is
He thinks you should let people hurt you but brush it aside not let it get to you which is ironic as he hasn't spoken to his own mother in ten years as when divorced his dad wanted fair share of house and had the decency to wait till DP moved out!
I think brushing things aside just means you're a walk over and setting yourself up for more hurtful behaviour. Weirdly he's very vocal about my friends and how they act.
AIBU or is he?
Stupid thing is he rants that we live on a golf course it would be ideal for mate to come stay and they play and I'm even now happy to let that happen I just think an apology would be kind but friend wouldn't do this as he's not that type
Sorry for long story didn't wish to drip feed.