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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

WIBU to tell this woman off?

72 replies

knickerdrawerofdoom · 17/04/2017 19:37

This is really bothering me for some reason- wondering if I overreacted but think not... what do you lot think?

Last night on the tube, about 6pm, got on with DS in the baby carrier on my front. Was super crowded so stood in the big space by the doors.

Three pretty drunk women were leaning against the door, and a bit all over the place. There was nowhere else to go, and DS was a bit fractious so I just cuddled him up with my free arm. DS was looking around and kept staring at the drunkest of the three women (he's 7mo), and the drunk woman said something to her friends, then gestured at me and DS.

Then DS jumped out of his skin, and I heard the one of the women say "don't do that to the baby" to the drunkest woman. I look down and she has hold of DS FOOT! And it in a cute way. It was very odd- obviously her friend though so too.

DS was clearly not happy, so I looked her in the eyes and said firmly "no. Really DONT do that to my baby". She then proceeded to "stare me out". I refused to look away, and a man behind me who had seen this happen, asked another passenger to stand for me.

This woman carried on staring across the carriage, then lowered her sunglasses when I refused to look away (still had her face turned in my direction).

I'm not really that ashamed to say, my old northern lairy ways came to the fore, and I did loudly say to my DP (who hadn't seen any of this as he was stood quite far away until we moved), that if she didn't desist, I'd be forced to give her a slap.

I'm really NOT that sort of person... but my blood was boiling... and I was really quite worried she was going to come over and do something else.

She got off at the next stop- because of me or not, I'm not sure... but today I'm wondering if I'm becoming a bit of an overprotective PFB nutter- or was I right to be so cross with this woman?

Prepared to be told to chill!!!!

OP posts:

longlostpal · 17/04/2017 20:35

Oh yeah, crunchymum bit weird that it was packed on the tube on an Easter Sunday. Bit weird those ladies were coming home pissed early evening on an Easter Sunday. Bit weird that they were wearing sunglasses underground come to think of it.

ohtheholidays · 17/04/2017 20:35

She got what she deserved,pissed or not who the fuck touches a small baby when it's not yours and makes the poor child jump.

PerspicaciaTick · 17/04/2017 20:41

Am I right that you carried on your staring contest with the woman after she had let go of your baby's foot, after another passenger had intervened and after you had sat down? And you verbally threatened her after the incident was over (bar the staring)?

I think you were fine to tell her not to touch your child, but squaring up to her when you had a baby with you and you didn't need to was umm... foolhardy.

WallisFrizz · 17/04/2017 20:43

She was odd/drunk. You were far worse to "stare someone out" and threaten to slap her whilst your young baby is attached to you. How do you know she wasn't drunk/odd enough to get physical? You were lucky she wasn't. Grow up...I can't even be bothered to get into the Northern debate.

Marmalade85 · 17/04/2017 20:46

Ridiculous behaviour OP. After you told her to stop touching your baby, she did. That's where is should have ended.

WorraLiberty · 17/04/2017 20:46

I do not know why Wayne and Waynetta won't stay out of my mind

springflowers11 · 17/04/2017 20:48

You are an absolute fruit loop!
Ok she had a hold of the baby's foot ( which strangers sometimes do hold babies hands and feet) .Yiou could have just said 'sorry but i don't think Ds likes it, he isn a bit nervous of people he doesn't know' or some such thing.
But this is crazy : She then proceeded to "stare me out". I refused to look away....This woman carried on staring across the carriage, then lowered her sunglasses
So how do you know she was staring at you if she had sunglasses on?? And then to top it all the classy threats of violence! You are an absolute fishwife, the drunk girl is a finishing school graduate next to you!!

DJBaggySmalls · 17/04/2017 20:54

How is it we know not to get in between a mother tiger or bear and her cubs, but its ok for a drunk person to furkle your baby? Even her mates told her not to.

RebelRogue · 17/04/2017 21:00

I wouldn't get near a bear or tiger anyways...cubs or no cubs.

PuffinNose · 17/04/2017 21:02

Grow up OP.
You're not a 14yr old girl trying to prove how hard you are to your friends.
You also weren't going to slap her (not least because you had a child in a carrier) so stop mouthing off pretending you would. That will get you into bother.
You're a grown woman who had her kid with her and had to have a stranger intervene because a drunk woman was being stupid.

Procrastination4 · 17/04/2017 21:02

I do not know why Wayne and Waynetta won't stay out of my mind
And I keep imagining Liam Payne, baby and Cheryl whatever she calls herself now....but I don't suppose they'd have been travelling by tube!

WankingMonkey · 17/04/2017 21:06

Which is why people are saying it's not particularly anything to do with being Northern.

Oh right, I misunderstood the whole thing then. I thought people were making out it was all roses and rainbows here and its rare to see anything...like this

Yes I imagine it does happen everywhere

HookandSwan · 17/04/2017 21:18

You don't touch other people's children without permission!! She was being obnoxious don't worry about it x

sonyaya · 17/04/2017 21:22

Not an ideal reaction but a drunken stranger was touching your baby - I'm not surprised you verbally lashed out. She was out of order.

Booshbeesh · 17/04/2017 21:28

If someone had grabbed my babys foot twice. Then tried to intimidate me i probably would have removed my baby passed to my husband and then said 'touch my foot bitch'... i hate drunk people. I hate people who try to bully people and intimidate people and i hate people who assume all babys are public property.

MadMags · 17/04/2017 21:32

* I probably would have removed my baby passed to my husband and then said 'touch my foot bitch

She might have passed out from cringing for you so at least it would have de-escalated the situation.

WanderingTrolley1 · 17/04/2017 21:36

Staring out a drunk person whilst holding your baby is a stupid thing to do.

Imamouseduh · 17/04/2017 21:39

It doesn't sound like she was intending to upset anyone, rather was just trying to say hello to your baby. You, however, sound like a classy bird, threatening to slap people.

WorraLiberty · 17/04/2017 21:43

I actually can't believe I've just read that!!

Touch my foot bitch

HalfCarrot · 17/04/2017 22:08

YABU for threatening to slap her, especially as an aside to your husband.

PuffinNose · 17/04/2017 22:13

Worral, you have to put it into context. You need to slowly remove your child and hand her over to your husband. All pistols at dawn slow mo. Then while he looks on and all the other commuters hide behind their copies of Metra Today, sashay to the end of the carriage, slam your foot onto the fold down disabled seat and then, whilst chewing a pen (no matches on the underground) mutter "touch my foot bitch" while peering out from under a White Stuff beanie. The smudged mascara is purely optional but adds to the effect.
Doesn't seem such a silly thing to say now does it?

ilovesooty · 17/04/2017 22:20

Sounds as though you were showing off to me. Stupid thing to do.

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