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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To trump in front of new partner

84 replies

Mummysrcrazy1 · 17/04/2017 18:54

Not really a Aibu!!
is it just me or have you every felt embrassed about farting in front of a new partner/date?
Also I hate going to the toliet for a number 2 in my partners flat or friends toilets etc, if its a really must I put loads of toilet roll down 1st so you can't hear the plop!!
Yes!! Childish ik but is anyone else like this? Or is it just me?

OP posts:
MollyHuaCha · 17/04/2017 19:59

OP re going to McD at midnight to poo... don't do this. Not necessary, a bit ludicrous and possibly dangerous tooSmile

DearMrDilkington · 17/04/2017 20:00

What if you come down with noro while you at dps? You'll never make it to mc'ds!!

NecklessMumster · 17/04/2017 20:00

There was a 6 month barrier for me too . I couldn't fart in front of my new dp, my body wouldn't let me. He was merrily farting away though. I told him I couldn't do it and it was giving me tummy ache.He told me to 'get real' so I did, and 18 years later he says he wished he hadntGrin But I would never ever do it at work whereas he does with impunity (male environment?)

EllebellyBeeblebrox · 17/04/2017 20:05

Unfortunately my "when to fart in front of him" dilemma was taken out of my hands after I accidentally got very pissed on what was probably our third date. He was worried about me going to sleep on my own and was a true gentleman, so he got me home, put me to bed, and slept on my floor to keep an eye on me.

EllebellyBeeblebrox · 17/04/2017 20:06

Oops posted too soon. Basically in the morning he told me that he hadn't slept a wink as I'd been burping and farting in my sleep all night. God knows why he wanted to see me again

Sallyswot1 · 17/04/2017 20:17

Catthemouse I have the same problem. My nocturnal farts are sometimes so noxious my DH wakes up gagging!
I wake up lovely and deflated!

silkpyjamasallday · 17/04/2017 20:19

I used to be the same, would never fart in front of DP and haven't in front of any previous partners either. However, DP was with me during labour, and I was too spaced out to tell him not to go down the business end... he saw me poo! Now all sense of modesty has gone out the window.

Charley50 · 17/04/2017 20:20

Witch - 😂😂

NeonGod73 · 17/04/2017 20:20

AIBU to think that generally men are fartier than women? And they don't hold it in.
Is it sexist to say?

MadameDePomPom · 17/04/2017 20:22

I don't think I fart in my sleep as I often do a trombone volume fart upon waking. So it must just gather there politely.

Rollonbedtime7pm · 17/04/2017 20:25

After having to share 1 bathroom when we both had Norovirus and DH witnessing 2 births and actually delivering the 3rd (and clearing away the poo!), not many bodily function secrets left in our house!

dustarr73 · 17/04/2017 20:30

I was in Also the other day and i let a whopper.Only thing was i didn't realise there was a man behind me.He started coughing ,i just pretended it wasn't me.😂😂

Happyhippy45 · 17/04/2017 20:58

Been together for 27 years. Fart free for the first few months. Secretive poos etc.
Then DH farted first but apologised the first few times it happened. Nowadays he lifts a cheek and lets it rip.
I'm a bit more reserved and tried to let them out quietly. I'd get taken by surprise like when I was lifting something heavy. It was more funny than embarrassing.
DH still feigns mock disapproval if I dare be so unladylike to let one rip. (I still try to let them out quietly.)
Every one farts.
I woke myself up this morning with a loud fart.
We don't poo in front of each other though. It's just not necessary.

Happyhippy45 · 17/04/2017 21:00

Madamedepompom Grin

Isthisusernamefree · 17/04/2017 21:09

I think farts are hilarious, it's childish I know, but they've made me laugh since my time on earth began so I indulge myself. However my OH does not think they're funny at all, so I have never farted in his presence on purpose, we live together so it's annoying. However I'm pregnant at the moment and they slip out more frequently than they ever have so right now he's just got to put up with it. We both fart in our sleep, his wake me up and mine wake me up, but neither wake him up, so I get a middle of the night laugh all to myself :)

DonkeyOaty · 17/04/2017 21:14

Obviously you must point at him and exhort him to "pull my finger".

Highmaintenancefemalestuff · 17/04/2017 21:20

It took me a while with Dh, once we were on farting terms I knew it was serious.
We don't care, in fact, Dh has had a curry so I'm in for a right treat tonight!
I'm surprised we haven't killed each other with the stink some nights!

Unicorn81 · 17/04/2017 21:21

Bowel talk is frequent in my home as partner has had 2 types of bowel cancer and now has a stoma. I still wouldnt fart in front of him though, think its been drummed into me its rude and shouldnt be done. We do have a giggle when the dog passes a loud one and looks round like 'what the fuck was that?' 😂

Ariandenotgrande · 17/04/2017 21:38

I am glad am not the only one who has farted herself awake, and unfortunately simultaneously violently woke OH who pretended not to mind.
The nocturnal farting is worrying, I'm not sure and definitely don't want to ask. Anyway, I don't think farting ruins a relationship but best to keep ones buttocks clenched for the first few months to feign femininity Grin

Justmuddlingalong · 17/04/2017 21:44

I find a brick placed in each corner of the quilt cover keeps the duvet on the bed. Definitely not a fart free zone here, but we've been together 10+ years and so we worry less about normal, everyday bodily functions.

PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 17/04/2017 21:47

A couple who fart together stay together Grin
Quite glad our relationship is based around this philosophy given the awful state I was in during my labour (luckily most of it I don't remember)

SabineUndine · 17/04/2017 21:52

Just you wait till you have routine bowel cancer screening. They fill you full of gas to have a look and you get horrible cramping until you give up trying to hold it in and let rip . . . with an audience of at least 3 medical staff. I consoled myself with the thought that they probably wouldn't recognise my face as they weren't looking at that end . . .

iloveabagido · 17/04/2017 22:01

Haven't RTFT but wanted to add my experience!
My (now) DH seems to never fart.. he was raised where he would get a slap if he farted in front of the family. So I have literally never heard him trump. Me though, completely different! I work sooooo hard to keep them in all day I end up exploding in bed most nights Blush. One night, when we were first together and very much in the romance stage, I woke myself up with a huge ripper. Pretended to still be asleep as I was mortified... I heard him whisper to himself "my baby, she's so beautiful but she sleeps like a fucking man" oh, the shame!
I am generally quite windy though. Blush
TMI. Heading off now to name change for the millionth time

Woody67 · 17/04/2017 22:10

Been with my husband for 22 years and never fart in front of him. I like to retain some mystique. Or the kids, i tell them I've had a fartectomy!

BarneyRumbleton · 17/04/2017 22:11

My husband is really sexist on this issue. He is quite happy to let rip, and often even seems proud of them, but if I fart he acts like it's appalling behaviour from a lady.
For this reason alone, I sometimes fart loudly out of sheer feminist defiance.