To turn up out of the blue and ask this?

[noitsnotme]

I've posted about this before, although not specifically this question.

I would like to trace my biological dad, and my best, likely only, bet of doing so is through my godmother. I haven't seen her in years, but have kept in touch (sporadically with her daughter).

I asked the daughter about a month ago if she thought her mum would mind me going to see her and why. She eventually texted back and said to pop up she'd love to see me. So I texted again and asked if she thought it would be okay to do so that week. I've never heard back. I don't k i.e. if she mentioned it to her mum at all.

I just feel uncomfortable turning up unannounced, having had no contact for years, and putting a 70+ woman on the spot by asking what she knows. But her daughter has told me in the past that she does know.

My mum and stepdad have been dead since I was a child and the one other person I thought might know, doesn't.

There's no phone number listed for her. Is it kinder to send her a card and mention it, and ask her to get in touch with me? But what if she doesn't? What if she has some kind of loyalty to my mum where she doesn't want to discuss it with me?

So should I just send an initial message saying "

"Hi, I hope you don't mind me messaging you, but I think you were possibly my mum's (xxx) neighbour in xxx street when I was little. Is that right?"

This would be to the first woman. I know for certain who the second woman is and met her through work about 10 years ago, so absolutely no doubt who she is.

Anyone? I'd really appreciate some advice on this.

How would others on here feel if someone got in touch with them about this situation?

I don't want to blow my chances by being insensitive to anyone.

I would go with
Hi, I hope you don't mind me messaging you, but I’m looking to try to trace a long lost member of my famil. I think you were possibly my mum's (xxx) neighbour in xxx street when I was little. Is that right?

Just so they know what you’re after! (Good luck )

Thanks @Applesbananas

I will try and pluck up the courage.

I've sent it. Oh god.

You could do one of those genealogy site DNA tests, might link you with relatives of your dad's side. Might be something.

@Lizadork I guess it's an option. Though still not sure how I'd follow up on it. Having to tell people they might be related to my dad, considering they likely have no idea I exist.

My message isn't even delivered and I'm not quite 100% sure she is is who I thought she was. Just piecing together info and photos from fb.

Fingers crossed for you op

Write her a letter and ask her. If she doesnt want to tell you, she wont.