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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is a puppy harder to raise than a newborn?

88 replies

KeepCalmLadybird · 15/04/2017 23:37

I had ds around 8 months ago. At the same time my friend got a new puppy. We were texting one day to see how the other one was getting on. She made a comment along the lines of 'a puppy is harder work than a newborn' mainly because of their energy, toilet training etc. I didn't make any comment on it at the time but have thought about it a few times since. I was so tired at the time, emotional and recovering from a traumatic birth and was a bit taken aback.

AIBU to think a newborn is harder than a puppy? I am happy to be told IABU as I've never had a puppy before so don't know what it entails really! I just can't imagine having that newborn fog, all emotions and no sleep with a puppy. Although I guess some babies are easier than others, same with puppies probably.

The reason I have been thinking about it today is because she is due her first baby soon and I just wonder if her mind might change.

OP posts:
toolonglurking · 16/04/2017 08:51

I brought our puppy home when I was three months pregnant.

Now I have a one year old child and a full grown dog and can confirm that in my experience the puppy and the baby were very similar in terms of effort, attention, and time.

Your friend was probably having a low moment and was trying to get across just how much she was struggling. Sometimes new parents can have a bit of a 'no one could possibly be as tired as I am' attitude (I'm sure I did too!), she maybe she was trying to get you to hear her?

Kitsandkids · 16/04/2017 09:41

I found our puppy really, really hard work in the early days. Like, extremely hard work. I was sometimes in tears in front of him when it was just me and him.

I'm a foster carer and my two foster kids were 5 and 6 when they came to me but developmentally more like 3 and 4. Lots of tears, tantrums, shrieking etc.

I found coping with the puppy infinitely harder than coping with them. True I was more tired at the end of the day after dealing with kids but when I was actually with them in the day I could manage their behaviour and felt more or less in control. I often felt that I was not in control with the dog and I dreaded spending time with him on my own. Or with the kids there as well because he would jump on them and bite them. In a playful puppy way but they were scared and I was stressed!

I never felt the need to farm out the kids to childcare. It was the summer holidays just after they came to us and I coped with them on my own most days for 6 weeks.

But with the dog, as soon as he was 12 weeks and had had all his injections I got a dog sitter to look after him for me on days when my husband was at work, because I was finding him so difficult (and I was pregnant and worried when he jumped on my stomach).

He's now 7 months old and it's just the last few weeks that I've started to feel like I can cope with him without help. Because he is calming down. Currently he's snoozing at my feet. Not long ago he never seemed to sleep when I was looking after him!

I'm now nearly 7 months pregnant and I reckon I'll find the baby easier to deal with in the early days than I found him. However, his 'hard work' stage is/was probably a lot shorter than any hard work stage a child might go through!

GinIsIn · 16/04/2017 09:45

I've done both. The sleeplessness of having a baby makes it harder. The actual day to day care and training of a puppy is much harder than a newborn. So I'm a sense you are both right.

Original poster
KeepCalmLadybird · 16/04/2017 10:01

Oh no toolonglurking, that's the thing I actually was being really sympathetic! I love my friend and was in now way thinking she wasn't having a hard time. That's why it was odd because we weren't comparing tiredness or anything. But as a pp said people say stupid shit sometimes and she probably wasn't thinking. I definitely wouldn't have said to her 'actually my baby is harder' although i did think it. But you are probably right in that she was obviously knackered and trying to get across just how knackered!

OP posts:
LakieLady · 16/04/2017 10:01

Try putting a newborn in a puppy crate and popping to the shops for an hour or two, and see what social services think of that!

Laineymc7 · 16/04/2017 10:08

I had the new puppy and the baby. The puppy was no problem. They need your attention and time until they settle and are trained but they can not be compared to the baby. A puppy is easy.

Welshrainbow · 16/04/2017 10:24

Honestly my puppy was harder than my newborn. She was an easy puppy but my DS was also an easy newborn. Toddler vs puppy though? I'll take another puppy any day! Different for everyone and some babies are a lot more difficult than others, completely appreciate how easy I had it with DS.

EatTheChocolateTeapot · 16/04/2017 10:27

Ahah, def the baby.
Although there is also a trend to take on very young puppies. A 9 weeks old puppy should be with his mother IMO and being socialised with his brothers and sisters. 12 weeks should be the very minimum age to take the puppies away from their mother. Dogs need to learn that they are dogs instead of being taken away from their mothers too yoing and treated like human children.

EatTheChocolateTeapot · 16/04/2017 10:28

Young

ilovechocolate07 · 16/04/2017 10:31

Haha! No way is a puppy harder but your friend wasn't to know if she had never experienced a newborn. You do hear it quite a lot in a humourous way x

tabulahrasa · 16/04/2017 10:43

Puppies are really really hard work, between taking them out every 20 minutes, cleaning up the accidents between times, the chewing and biting you do have way more to do than with a newborn...

However, it's a stupid comparison because you've not got the sleep deprivation, the hormonal stuff, the physical stuff from pregnancy and birth and it's really only at the most 3 or 4 months before a puppy is behaving like a dog.

Chamonix1 · 16/04/2017 11:05

There's a reason you get maternity leave for a newborn and not for a puppy!!!
Having had both she definitely has no idea what she's on about!

DixieNormas · 16/04/2017 11:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cherrysoup · 16/04/2017 11:22

Although there is also a trend to take on very young puppies. A 9 weeks old puppy should be with his mother IMO and being socialised with his brothers and sisters. 12 weeks should be the very minimum age to take the puppies away from their mother. Dogs need to learn that they are dogs instead of being taken away from their mothers too yoing and treated like human

Only mini breeds are supposed to stay with their dams til 12 weeks. 8 weeks is the new law being proposed, but I got my first at 7 weeks and he was easy. The second at 9 weeks was a devil. There's a crucial socialisation period between 8-12 weeks and you miss that if you get a puppy late.

Some puppies are weaned by under 4 weeks and mum is fed up up, especially if it's a big litter. 12 weeks is horrendous if there's 13 or so. Learning to be a dog? Do you mean bite inhibition etc? An owner can teach that.

arbrighton · 16/04/2017 11:30

I'm currently saying I wish we'd rather had another puppy rather than me getting pregnant.

We were quite lucky with DDog that she has always slept through, downstairs in her own bed, and we had very very few accidents and very little chewing.

Wolfiefan · 16/04/2017 11:34

My enormous puppy just shat all over the boot of my lovely new car. And trampled it everywhere.
At least babies wear nappies. Shock

DixieNormas · 16/04/2017 11:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

burdog · 16/04/2017 12:14

It's not easy, but it's positively encouraged to lock your puppy in a cage overnight and leave them to cry, and bribe them with food to make them do what you want. With babies, less so.

Funnyface1 · 16/04/2017 12:37

What a joke! Grin

TiredMumToTwo · 16/04/2017 12:43

YANBU, you can't leave a baby in a crate whilst you go to the pub for a break - or at least you shouldn't! Have had lots of puppies & two babies & there is absolutely no comparison, I've never had a night of broken sleep with a puppy.

histinyhandsarefrozen · 16/04/2017 12:46

They are such different levels of responsibility...
She is nuts.

RainbowBriteRules · 16/04/2017 12:48

Hmmmm, I have two DC and we are contemplating a dog in the future. From seeing friends with puppies I fully expect it to be harder with a puppy than it was with my babies if we did get a puppy. Also even when they grow up dogs need work, walks and you cannot leave them for long periods whereas children grow up and get more independent.

I really hope I am wrong though and that a puppy is much easier than a newborn.

Orangeseed · 16/04/2017 13:08

Admitted I have only had one dog from being 8 weeks (but had 2 dogs rescued at around 5 years) my current dog is the one we got as a pup and according to our dog trainer is 'the most hyperactive dog she has ever met!'.
Still a total breeze compared to my children as new borns.
Yes she needed watching like a hawk while she was toilet training and a few accidents here and there meant I needed a new carpet. I have to be ultra careful to move all toys, remotes, shoes etc or she will destroy them.
BUT I have never had to carry her with me when I make a cuppa or a sandwich, she doesn't want to be in a sling when I wash pots and clean up, I don't have to take a whole bag of essentials like nappies and spare clothes each time we leave the house. She has never kept me awake for days on end because she is ill or teething and if she barks a dog chew will shut her up for ages.
Seriously not even in the same league as a baby.

WiddlinDiddling · 16/04/2017 14:21

If you've not had both to compare then its possible someone might find a difficult puppy harder than an easy newborn.

Or not.

Everyone is different.

So puppies, done properly, are full on, 24 hours a day for the first three or four months and then a bit easier and by about 6/7 months should be able to spend some time alone (of course lots of people just leave them alone but those tend to be my clients in 12 to 18 months time so let them carry on or I'd have no business)...

Puppies unlike newborns, generally can't be taken everywhere and people are generally a lot less sympathetic to your need for help if you have a tiny puppy who can't be left, vs having a baby.

They shit and piss everywhere if you take your eye off the ball and will continue to do this for around 7 months and you cannot strap on a nappy.

On the other hand, you can leave them home alone if you are careful and put in the training, for around 3 to 4 hours by 8 months of age - it will be probably 12 years before you can do that with a baby.

You can also sell them in Loot if you have no morals and cant be arsed - you really can't do that with a baby, no matter how few morals you have!

SparklyUnicornPoo · 16/04/2017 14:31

Hm, having 2 DC and had a few puppies, yes a puppy is harder than a newborn, newborns don't piss everywhere, or chew everything with their tiny razor teeth, they don't find the tiny gap in the fence (seriously I swear puppies can shrink themselves to get through gaps i can't even see) newborns don't slip off the lead or jump up at people, or steal food off the counter and no newborn has ever made me get out of bed at 3am to take them out in the pouring rain for a wee.

Toddlers however are definitely worse than puppies.

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