Is going to the in-laws optional?

[Bigblug]

Im working until 3. Dp and the kids are going to his mum's for an Easter bbq. I've said I'm just going to go straight home after work, rather than take the hour long bus ride to his mum's. Dp and dmil are in a strop with me. I rarely miss family events unless I'm working, and I love dmil to bits, but I just want to go home after work and relax. I never force dp to go to events with my family, but our whole relationship he's insisted I go to everything. Like I said I love my in-laws and most of the time I don't mind but... Well, I would have thought it's optional for me? Aibu?

YY to getting him to take his turn looking after the kids.

Next time, don't tell them that you will be relieved at 3pm. Just sayin.

Working that number of hours over a weekend it's perfectly reasonable to not want to go. I might go if I didn't have an early start the next day, or an hour's bus ride, or the prospect of chasing round after the kids. But given all those things I would suggest to them that they are b a bit u to expect it of me.

" I never force dp to go to events with my family, but our whole relationship he's insisted I go to everything."
Then it's time to start putting your foot down. Don't go.

You're working the weekend.

Absolutely don't go!

Don't you want to spend the time with your children though OP?

I'd suffer an hour's bus journey to get to a family party where presumably they'll feed you but I'd insist that my DH drives back (and puts kids to bed) so I could have a glass of wine.

Nice guilt trip there, Lizzie!

Some people don't feel the need to spend every free minute with their children LizzieMacQueen.

Everyone is allowed a few days hours off occasionally 🙄

You are an adult - everything is optional. Don't go if you don't want to.

I wouldn't expect DH to turn up to what is only after all his inlaw's BBQ when he's been to work all day and is working all bank hol weekend. Especially if he'd have to get on a bus for an hour to get there!

It's hardly unmissable stuff

Have you spoken to him? I'd pretend you're still stuck at work if that's what it takes.

And confront him about it one evening.

YANBU - don't let anyone guilt trip you into it.

Just go home and have a well deserved rest. Let DH run around after the DC for once

'I'd suffer an hour's bus journey to get to a family party where presumably they'll feed you but I'd insist that my DH drives back (and puts kids to bed) so I could have a glass of wine.'

She's also explained that her DP doesn't drive and that he expects her to run after the kids whilst he has a few beers.

Where is it warm enough for a BBQ?

Hopefully op is resting or doing something far more interesting than sitting on a bus.

He's your DH, not your boss. I'd just say a firm No, I'm tired, I'm going home. Have fun.

I hope you're at home relaxing. He can keep an eye on his own children for the day at his mum's. You don't have to go to every single family event just because he wants you to.

I definitely wouldn't reward them sulking by going OP. Go home and relax. If you're also working tomorrow and Monday the last thing you want to do is sit on a bus for an hour. If your DP doesn't go with you to all your family events, he has no business sulking.

Have a and put your feet up