Aibu to have stepped in.?

[DiddysMammy]

So.. it's the Easter holidays as many of us know.. I was out with a friend earlier picking up some tickets from my local theatre. Before heading home I headed to the loo with my DD. There was man and a lady in a wheel chair having a pop at a lady with a buggy and 4 young children. She was looking very stressed and upset. The man and the lady in the wheelchair were having a go at the poor lady for using the disabled loo (it does have a baby change).
They were ranting and raving at her about people taking advantage of facilities for disabled people.. she was trying to explain that 2 of the children weren't hers and that she used the disabled loo because it was the only way she could ensure the safety of all 4 children while they all used the toilet.. she hadn't been in there for very long and she was sorry for the delay etc etc..

The theatre was VERY busy and she had just been upstairs to an activity (our local borough holds free events in school holidays) I could see the lady with the children getting redder and redder and the cue for the ladies was out the door so I just popped myself between the to sides and said "look all the while you are stood here having a go at this lady you could have used the loo and got on with your day"

The lady with the children looked relieved while couple looked rather PO.

I smiled a sympathetic smile at the lady with the children and moved into the loo.. my friend then asked me what the fuss was. I explained and she said I shouldn't have stepped in. The lady with the children was in the wrong.. I honestly don't think she was. I have on occasion used the disabled loo when I have my children with me as toilet cubicles aren't built for double buggies and extra people. I would never use one while on my own or with one DC.

Was the lady in the wrong? Was I bu to step in?

If it's one of those with a baby changer in it then it was an accessable toilet (or whatever it's called) not one designated for disabled use only, so with 4 children with her including baby and buggy she was perfectly fine to use it.
Either way you were right to step in and try to bring the situation to a swift conclusion.

You were quite right to say something, and the couple were completely overreacting. The woman was looking after 4 kids & that is like herding cats at times, so she was quite within her rights to use the toilet and the changing facilities.

My Dp is disabled and we have had the need for a disabled toilet at times. We are also parents so therefore have the sympathy and empathy for parents in this situation. If the disabled person can not empathise then neither party is at fault just one of those things IMO

Accessible toilet not exclusively disabled. I would not be hanging around explaining myself to a random member of the public.
It's not illegal.
I used them when I had a newborn in the pram. The issue is they are often doubled up a baby changing and there aren't normally cubicles in the main toilets big enough to accommodate a pram.
And I agree with previous poster-women with kids are an easy target for bullies

Here it comes again, I’m repeating what I wrote in another thread.

That blue and white stick wheelchair symbol means, with two exceptions, that the space designated by the sign is largely, but perhaps not wholly, accessible to somone in a wheelchair. The two exceptions are a toilet and a lift, in which case the sign means that the entire area designated by the sign is accessible to someone in a wheelchair, all the controls, everything.

And that’s all it means, nothing more, nada, zilch.

The use of that sign is governed by ISO 7001 which covers international road signs, which is why the sign is blue and white, like motorway signs.

It doesn’t convey any indication of who is allowed to use the accessible toilet or lift, it only conveys the information, paraphrased from ISO 7001, I’ve put above. Everyone is allowed to use an accessible toilet; they generally have generous space inside which is helpful for people with children, buggies, etc, and they’re generally unisex. The official name for these toilets and lifts is ‘accessible’ not ‘disabled’ toilets and lifts. It’s generally regarded as being considerate if a non-disabled person finds a ‘standard’ toilet to use rather than a nearby accessible one, as people who need the accessible toilet generally can’t just nip in and out like many others can.

R.A.D.A.R keys can be bought online, it’s best to buy from a good source that sells keys with the official stamp on them.

It really isn't anyone else's business whether the lady was actually using the baby change or not.

No personally I believe that if a disabled person needs it then they get first go but if it was the only baby change she is personally entitled . I would use them if busy and no one waiting anyway .

The woman with the 4 kids wasn't in the wrong how else is she suppose to change a babies nappy should she do it on the floor of the ladies loos they put the baby changer in the disabled loo because they are bigger than the ladies. Good on you for stepping in that couple where in the wrong.

YANBU. So kind of you to step in. They just assumed and no-one should assume as we keep learning nowadays.

Yanbu. Well done for stepping in

neonrainbow

That is my point, the OP has stepped in without knowing what went on.

Yanbu well done for stepping in :)

Not only does no one know if she used the baby changing facilities or not, it's also irrelevant. She was still reasonable to use the accessable toilet.

Boney the mum was being bullied. It's everyone's responsibility to stop that even if she was in the wrong.

Well she saw two people accosting a flustered woman with 4 kids and tried to diffuse the situation. They're accessible toilets not disabled toilets.