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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that a 7-year-old should be allowed to choose decor, even if it looks crap?

100 replies

lbsjob87 · 12/04/2017 22:52

We're currently decorating soon to be 8yo daughter's bedroom as a birthday treat / necessity as her furniture has passed its useful life.
She loves her current decor, so we're just shuffling things about, and removing some horrible old fitted wardrobes that take up half the space.
This means there's an extra wall to cover. Currently there's a papered wall and two painted ones.
We can't find the original paint and she doesn't want it changed, so we've tracked down the same paper.

Her bed will be against the 'new' wall.
It's this:

Now - two dilemmas. On the existing wall, this hangs vertically, as you'd expect.
But DD has decided that it will look "awesome and amazing" if DH hangs it HORIZONTALLY- opposite the vertical wall. And I actually think she might be onto something - there's a house near us with a chimney breast wall that has vertical stripes on the breast and the same horizontal in the alcoves, and it looks really good (they also have no curtains or blinds which is how I know this).

DH thinks it will look crap. What do others think - has anyone done similar?

Also, I'm making DD some hanging pocket things for her toys and a curtain tent thing, I led her to the matching fabrics in the shop, she chose totally random, non matching, which will clash massively. But on the other hand it's her room, not a showhome.

She has had a bedroom full of other people's junk and so on since she was two, she deserves a better space. AIBU to just let her have the patterns, paper etc she wants, or is that basically teaching her that our views aren't relevant?

To think that a 7-year-old should be allowed to choose decor, even if it looks crap?

OP posts:

MrsStinkey · 12/04/2017 22:55

Let her go for it. You might be pleasantly surprised with the end result! Its her space so why not let her decorate it as she likes.

EatTheChocolateTeapot · 12/04/2017 22:55

YANBU, it's teaching her that her views matter and is good for her self-esteem, plus it's her room.

SalemSaberhagen · 12/04/2017 22:57

No, in response to your last sentence I think ignoring her wants may teach her that her views aren't relevant. Let her go for it!

booloobalooloo · 12/04/2017 22:59

Well I think her idea sounds good too. But I wouldn't give entirely free reign on something like walls. Hanging pockets are different. Less permanent etc whereas walls are not so easy to change/remove decor as she grows and tastes change.
However, as I said, I like the wallpaper idea....

dowhatnow · 12/04/2017 23:01

Her room. Her choice. You can guide, bribe or whatever but it's a small bit of control that she should have it a world where adults control most things.

HellonHeels · 12/04/2017 23:11

I think she should choose, but how difficult is it to hang paper sideways? That would put me off doing it.

Yika · 12/04/2017 23:14

Let her choose (if you can afford to change it again later in case it doesn't work out well). Nice for her to have some control over her own space.

ScarlettFreestone · 12/04/2017 23:22

I'd let her choose (although I wouldn't want to be the one hanging it horizontally!) but make it clear that if it doesn't look good she'll have to live with it.

It might be great though, my DD puts together fantastic outfits I'd never think of.

doughnutobssession · 12/04/2017 23:23

I always had a bedroom that was never mine, hand me downs, moved in and it was already decorated. One weekend (I was about 8-9) my mum let me pick the colours and the decour and we decorated it. I loved that room (looking back it was hideous) and I am surprised she let me but I loved it (your daughters ideas actually sound lovely)

user1243 · 12/04/2017 23:23

Will you be able to redecorate when she realises the clashes or grows out of it by secondary school? If so go for it! If not maybe don't do everything she wants.

Original poster

lbsjob87 · 12/04/2017 23:24

God knows heels - but it's probably on YouTube. Everything always is! Either she has unearthed an entire new trend in home decor, or there's a very good reason that wallpaper is definitely geared towards vertical use.....

I will report back on the results....

OP posts:

AprilLudgateDwyer · 12/04/2017 23:25

Yanbu. Ds1 has a grass green bedroom: it's hideous but he picked it and he loves it because it reminds him of a football pitch.

Original poster

lbsjob87 · 12/04/2017 23:28

Me too, doughnut, we rented mostly when I was a kid and when I finally got a bedroom that a) I didn't share with anyone and b) was allowed to change the decor of, I went for about eight different colours! My brother did too. My dad was so pleased we had finally settled, he just went along with it, bless him.
My old room is now their dining room. Apparently it took six coats to cover up my orange ceiling but the paint names I wrote in BIRO are still visible in certain lights..,.;)

OP posts:

missymayhemsmum · 12/04/2017 23:30

well it doesn't sound like she's choosing anything too outrageous or permanent, though it's an awful lot of stripes for one bedroom, a bit like living inside a stick of rock!
If she's sick of the wallpaper in a year you can paint it, and contrasting fabrics could look cool, can you mix in some white cotton in the tent thing to dilute it all a bit?
Or suggest painting the 'extra' wall white and putting up a big pinboard for her artwork and photos etc?
Get the home mags and pinterest out and start discussing some options with her.
I'd give her freeish rein on paint and paper but ensure that if you are spending a few hundred on furniture that it'll see her well into her teens.

HeddaGarbled · 12/04/2017 23:31

It's fine to let her have what she wants so long as you are prepared to redecorate if and when you want to sell. What you describe sounds hideous to me and I'm sure would put off buyers but if that's not a consideration at the moment, I can't see a reason not to let her have what she wants.

chastenedButStillSmiling · 12/04/2017 23:32

Just to say when my DD was in Yr 4 (so 8 yr old???) we redecorated her bedroom, and she choose a very intense blue. I was REALLY worried because her room was dark and faced north, and had lots of talks with her about how colours can "feel". She insisted. It looked great and she loved it.

At the end of the day, it's her room.

PickAChew · 12/04/2017 23:34

it's wallpaper. it can be stripped or painted over.

chastenedButStillSmiling · 12/04/2017 23:34

I'm sure would put off buyers

I understand that terrible bathrooms and kitchens put off buyers, because re-doing those are expensive, but most buyers can see beyond decor that isn't to their taste.... How much is a gigantic tub of Magnolia from B+Q or Homebase????

Original poster

lbsjob87 · 12/04/2017 23:46

Hedda it's precisely because we have decided not to sell, but to improve instead that she's getting this new room. We've been umming and ahing for over two years and didn't want to spend out if she was going to leave it all behind, but I take your point. I think it might not be to everyone's taste!
mayhem she's getting all new furniture, and yes, the pin board idea is a good one, I'll put it to her, thanks.

OP posts:

megletthesecond · 12/04/2017 23:49

It depends whether you can afford to redecorate when she doesn't like it in a couple of years.

unlucky83 · 12/04/2017 23:54

I would say let her decorate how she likes - the only caveat is no dark coloured gloss on skirting boards and no dark coloured ceilings (especially on woodchip!) .....both would put me off buying a house -both are difficult to cover/get rid of.
As others have said - hanging wallpaper horizontally is going to be tricky ...hanging striped wallpaper horizontally and keeping the stripes level will be even harder - unless you can line up exactly with an exactly straight skirting board or ceiling...
(I won't even hang striped wall paper vertically - I had stripes in my bedroom as a child which I helped to do and I remember it was a real headache...although I guess harder cos it was an old house and walls weren't exactly square)

tabbymog · 12/04/2017 23:55

I vote for going with her ideas, she's going to have fun and it's great for her self-esteem.

I would like to know, though, how you can hang wallpaper sideways without ending up wearing it.

EineKleine · 12/04/2017 23:56

I think hanging it sideways is quite a skilled job. Especially with stripes as they are very unforgiving of any slight mismatch. I'd have no qualms in saying no tbh, not on taste grounds but because it's just too hard and time consuming to get a decent finish. Walls are rarely as square or straight as you'd think.

I think your DH would be well within his rights to say no, and let you look on youtube and do the work if you want to.

Casmama · 13/04/2017 00:04

Honestly i think it will look hellish even if your dp manages to hang the paper straight which will be a real challenge.
I might compromise and let her have the paper and all the random fabrics as long as the paper is vertical.
She has never had a room unencumbered by other peoples stuff and you want to make it really special which is understandable but as she is only 8 i think it is your job to guide her a little so that what she ends up with is actually nice and not a dogs dinner which isnt what she imagined even if it is actually what she asked for.

KayTee87 · 13/04/2017 07:08

Let her go for it.

My room was decorated how my mum liked it until I was 14 and I hated it!

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