To think that a 7-year-old should be allowed to choose decor, even if it looks crap?

[lbsjob87]

We're currently decorating soon to be 8yo daughter's bedroom as a birthday treat / necessity as her furniture has passed its useful life.
She loves her current decor, so we're just shuffling things about, and removing some horrible old fitted wardrobes that take up half the space.
This means there's an extra wall to cover. Currently there's a papered wall and two painted ones.
We can't find the original paint and she doesn't want it changed, so we've tracked down the same paper.

Her bed will be against the 'new' wall.
It's this:

Now - two dilemmas. On the existing wall, this hangs vertically, as you'd expect.
But DD has decided that it will look "awesome and amazing" if DH hangs it HORIZONTALLY- opposite the vertical wall. And I actually think she might be onto something - there's a house near us with a chimney breast wall that has vertical stripes on the breast and the same horizontal in the alcoves, and it looks really good (they also have no curtains or blinds which is how I know this).

DH thinks it will look crap. What do others think - has anyone done similar?

Also, I'm making DD some hanging pocket things for her toys and a curtain tent thing, I led her to the matching fabrics in the shop, she chose totally random, non matching, which will clash massively. But on the other hand it's her room, not a showhome.

She has had a bedroom full of other people's junk and so on since she was two, she deserves a better space. AIBU to just let her have the patterns, paper etc she wants, or is that basically teaching her that our views aren't relevant?

'Personally I think DC need to be taught Style and Taste as much as they need to be taught Kindness, Consideration, Assertiveness, Maths, History, Skiing, Swimming and Coding.'

Style and taste is subjective though. I think her room sounds great and I would really like it. I think it's ok for children to know what they like and want.

I don't really get the "her room her choice" bit. My house, my choice. They can have opinions and requests sure, but the final choice would be purely mine.

Nabobs out of interest, how old are your kids?

2, 9, 12 and 15. Why?

'Personally I think DC need to be taught Style and Taste as much as they need to be taught Kindness, Consideration, Assertiveness, Maths, History, Skiing, Swimming and Coding.'

There's a flip side to this. Style and taste, as pp said, is very subjective. As i always tell my dd, "fashion" isn't wearing what everyone else does, it's wearing something different and having everyone copy you.

I had a mother determined to teach me "style and taste". Only her opinion of that was very much country house magazine c. 1979- green swirly carpets, cream wallpaper with a discreet glossy pattern, walnut furniture. Clothes wise similar, trouser suits, blouses, handbags, jewllery.

My own bedroom decor i was never allowed an input. I'd maybe be given a choice of two wallpapers, but that's it. I think i hated every bedroom i had because it was kind of what i chose, but not what i wanted, iyswim.

It has taken me 40 years to discover my own taste, which is completely different. I like quirky, different. But in my 20's i really struggled as i'd been taught "taste and style", but i hated it, but didn't have the confidence to try anything different.

My own kids have free rein over clothes and rooms. They're only just teenage bit have incredible confidence on what they like and don't like.

I was 29 before I got to choose the decor in my home (rented up til then) and I loved it! We're decorating the kids rooms just now (2 and 10 yo DSs share and 3 yo DD has her own room) and they've picked the decor. It's their rooms, their space so why not?

My mum let me paint my room entirely black (even the floor) with one wall striped with different shades of bright green!
I will never forget that. I loved that room. It was hideous looking back, and whoever has that house now is gonna have a job covering that black but i fully loved it.

Let her have her room how she wants because she will always remember that you let her express herself like that! x

I let mine pick their colours etc.

Mind you I did gently steer DD1 away from having astroturf as her carpet ...

Does your 15 year old have any say in things like room decor etc?

I finally got a choice in the decor of my room when I persuaded my parents to change the carpet.
It had been the same carpet for about 16 years, iirc, and the foam backing had gone hard and crumbly - but the biggest problem was that it was a yellow and black loop carpet. It was not only hideous, but I nearly trod on a wasp hiding on it (not hiding, it was just sitting there but it was really well camouflaged!) and at that point I just kind of lost it and insisted that I had to have a new carpet or Really Bad Things could happen, especially if I trod on a wasp or a bee.
I was allowed to choose my own colour - a lovely mossy green - and it's been a colour that I always try to get in carpet, whichever house I've lived in since.

I've just finished ds's bedroom in bright green and blue. He's 7 and chose them himself with guidance. I always got to choose my own colours, and feel it's important for them to put their own stamp on their space, they even get to help me paint! I have Dd2's room to do next, she's 11 and chose hers too.
OP, go for the stripes!

Does your 15 year old have any say in things like room decor etc?

Yes, as I already said they get input, they can give opinions and make requests. But the final decision is mine. I think thats perfectly normal.

Those mothers who won't let kids have the bedroom of their choice are the same ones who only let their younglings have naice wooden toys. None of that dreadful plastic pony and shopkins for them I'm bettin' however much they beg. Lifestyleeeees. Unless they're shoved in a nice bit of expedit lest their friends see.

Yes, as I already said they get input, they can give opinions and make requests. But the final decision is mine. I think thats perfectly normal. In this house too!

Hmm sorry but I would not decorate like this, IMO it will look awful and you will end up decorating again in a short period of time due to a childs whim.

It is not going to damage her self esteem if she doesn't get what she wants, basically it is a life lesson, that you do not always get exactly what you want

As an aside, when did household maintenance like decorating and bedroom furniture become a birthday treat?

She is just choosing random things just for the sake of ''being the one who choses'' she isn't putting any thought into it OP - you do realise this

My dd and I did a moodboard (big piece of paper and she cut out ideas she liked from magazines and stuck on) finished room has lots of ideas from it. We also went shopping together to chose bits and pieces. Sometimes I found things eg showed her several suitable light shades and she picked her favourite. Has come together well even though I wouldn't have chosen it (mint and blush)

My teenaged niece has laura ashley grey and white striped wallpaper hung vertically on one wall and horizontally on another - looks fab. As with all wallpaper just need to make sure first piece is straight - we used a spirit level and drew pencil line to paper up to. No different than putting lining paper up which we always hung horizontally.

Those mothers who won't let kids have the bedroom of their choice are the same ones who only let their younglings have naice wooden toys

They really aren't. Don't be so silly to assume such a leap.

"Those mothers who won't let kids have the bedroom of their choice are the same ones who only let their younglings have naice wooden toys"

That's interesting - I sort of assumed something a bit different, that conventional lower middle class women can't bear their houses not to look "naice" and they are more the "3 figure sum from Argos on your birthday to show we have money and care" type people

We are a wooden toy family and, yes, I exert decorative control over the DC's rooms. I am entirely at ease with this situation

hat's interesting - I sort of assumed something a bit different, that conventional lower middle class women can't bear their houses not to look "naice" and they are more the "3 figure sum from Argos on your birthday to show we have money and care" type people

Even sillier, not to mention judgemental and fucking rude.

I'd let her have it, my mum let me paint my bedroom bright yellow when I was about 10, it was a tiny box room and mid 90s me thought it would make it look bigger Because I'd heard it on changing rooms

I loved it too!

Bellatrix Furniture became a birthday treat when my DD asked if she could have a new bedroom for her birthday.....
We were planning to do it up/strip it of unnecessary toot anyway. When she asked for that, we decided to make a bit of a deal out of it.
The present element comes from her choice of furniture, decor and accessories. She is getting a couple of small presents to open on the day and others from friends etc so she won't be left feeling hard done by.