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Original poster

To use my son's savings to pay off debt?

140 replies

Bibs2014 · 12/04/2017 22:18

What would you do?

We are £17,000 in debt due to failed IVF Sad.

DS has £1200 in the bank (not including interest) as I started saving £100 a month for him last year in a high interest account that I couldn't touch for a year.

It's now matured. Should I take the money out and clear some of the debt? It's all on 0% credit card and is manageable (at the moment).

The reason I'm thinking we should is because we want to move house so it looks better to have less debt.

Reason against is that even though I could save the money up again in the future, you never really do, do you? I already started late as I wanted to start saving from his birth and didn't start till he was 16 months so I already 'owe' him £1600 😂

OP posts:
SuperBeagle · 13/04/2017 00:32

I wouldn't.

That would feel so wrong to me.

Whether it's "his" money or not is beside the point. The money has been set aside for him, with the intention of being given to him at a point in the future to help him out.

Your son shouldn't be punished for your decision to pursue IVF, for example.

Cut back in other areas of your life.

KingsCross88 · 13/04/2017 00:35

Saving for children when you are in debt is silly. Refusing to use money you'd earmarked for your child when you are in debt would be staggeringly stupid! You don't "owe" your child any money.

tallwivglasses · 13/04/2017 00:40

If you're scoring here's another saying use the money. It's likely you'll be bailing them out to the tune of a lot more than £1200 in the future.

LilQueenie · 13/04/2017 00:55

no I had a parent take my money to be off debt. Its not your childs job to pay it off its up to you not to accumulate it. You say you are in debt due to failed ivf. If it had worked how would you afford to bring up the child as you would still have debt of some sort.

Pallisers · 13/04/2017 01:03

Whether it's "his" money or not is beside the point. The money has been set aside for him, with the intention of being given to him at a point in the future to help him out.

Isn't that a bit like setting money aside to pay the gas bill and the gas bill being way less than you expected. Meanwhile your electricity is getting cut off because you have no money (except that set aside for the gas bill of course) so hey you have to suck up not having lights as the gas bill money is sacrosanct... how does that work in real life?

And how is it "punishing" a child to not give him 20k - or even 1600 of the money you earned and saved at 18??? Do people really think this is an entitlement of childhood now?

Pallisers · 13/04/2017 01:05

Its not your childs job to pay it off its up

Well I do agree with this. OP please don't send your child up the chimneys or down the mines to pay off your debt.

AprilSkies44 · 13/04/2017 01:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SuperBeagle · 13/04/2017 02:13

And how is it "punishing" a child to not give him 20k - or even 1600 of the money you earned and saved at 18??? Do people really think this is an entitlement of childhood now?

It's just a shitty thing to do. Would you dig into their piggy bank and take their money? What if it hadn't all come from you but you could no longer determine which money had come from whom? The money is set aside for your child, not for your poor financial planning and resulting colossal debt.

ChocolateSherberts2017 · 13/04/2017 02:26

I would leave the money untouched but switch the £100 for his savings to debt repayment. Plus, I'd go through all my monthly expenses and find cheaper deals for utilities, mortgage etc and switch the savings made to debt repayment. I have in the past foregone holidays and luxuries in order to repay my debts off first. Debt repayment requires a complete lifestyle and mentality change, if you approach it from several angles then you'll find yourself debt free faster. See if you can increase your hours at work or take up a weekend job to help towards clearing your debt.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 13/04/2017 02:34

Use it.

And only save for him if you can afford it. It sounds like you can't currently.

Boulshired · 13/04/2017 02:56

Sorry about the failed ivf, if you had posted last year about wanting to save £100 a month for your DC whilst in so much debt it would probably be a unanimous you cannot afford it. You could not afford it then and you cannot afford it now. All this emotive piggybank shit, this is not real money as it was never really there to be given in the first place it belongs to the the OPs creditors.

Mummyoflittledragon · 13/04/2017 05:29

I agree with what Flogging said. I understand the desire for a second child. Dd was ivf. We only have one child. Accepting she would be an only was incredibly hard especially as she so wanted (and still wants) a sibling.

Please take the money from your ds and do whatever it takes to accept that you cannot have another child. Would fostering or adopting when you are more financially sound be something you would consider?

KayTee87 · 13/04/2017 07:27

I'm sorry your ivf didn't work, that must be tough Flowers
You need to prioritise paying off your debt as that benefits your son anyway.

southeastdweller · 13/04/2017 07:49

Some people on here have said keep the money as a 'Rainy day' fund....well op, the rainy day is here now

Not in my book. The OP hasn't lost her job or her OH hasn't had his hours cut and so they're struggling to put food on the table. Or the boiler hasn't broke. If those or equally potentially disastrous things happened what would she do then? Take out another credit card?

Original poster
Bibs2014 · 13/04/2017 07:56

Thank you everyone for your replies.

The debt is currently on 0% till 2020. It costs around £350 in minimum payments and I currently overpay £150 so we pay £500 a month towards it. The £1200 would be an extra one-off payment to reduce the debt.

The reason I was asking was because DH said we should use it and I was umming and ahing.

OP posts:
stopfuckingshoutingatme · 13/04/2017 08:02

I am sorry about the failed IVF Flowers that's tough

If you can say to yourself you have a plan to move forward , manage the debt and get yourself on a financial settting - yes

If you don't have a robust plan to repay him - no

reallybadidea · 13/04/2017 08:05

If the money was a gift from other people then it would be wrong, otherwise I'd use it.

Original poster
Bibs2014 · 13/04/2017 08:06

It's my money I save for him.

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 13/04/2017 08:09

Are you still saving £100 per month for DS too? If so, stop that immediately and pay it to debt.

By 2020, you'll have pretty much paid it off at £500 per month and 0% - I'd be inclined to keep it as a "rainy day" fund for now.

Doesn't sound like you can afford to move house, though.

Quartz2208 · 13/04/2017 08:13

If you are able to pay off £500 a month and therefore will pay it off by 2020 and no interest I would not use the money for the debt and keep ot for other things that will need a rainy day fund

Badders123 · 13/04/2017 08:16

For that amount of debt £1200 really isn't much is it?
I wouldn't use it but I would stop paying into it (but let family do so on b days and Xmas etc if they wish) til your debt is cleared.
I know 3 years seems a long way away but it will soon be here
And I'm sorry the ivf didn't work out for you 💐

seven201 · 13/04/2017 08:17

Use it

StiginaGrump · 13/04/2017 08:28

I am sorry about the IVF too.

Use the money, get financial advice to see if you can consolidate and see how you get on.

I binged a large debt on my mortgage and overpaid leaving me much happier. I increased the overpayments as I could until I was mortgage free.

Get planning

SailAwayWithMeHoney · 13/04/2017 08:32

If you are able to pay off £500 a month and therefore will pay it off by 2020 and no interest I would not use the money for the debt and keep ot for other things that will need a rainy day fund

This. I'd also stop paying into it and put that 'extra' £100 a month towards the debt aswell.

BonjourMeDarlin · 13/04/2017 08:32

I would use the £1200 and the £100 a month to pay off the debt and then when it's paid off you could always pay the £100 a month and the £500 into his savings as you would be used to paying that out anyway.

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