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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Dogs left at home alone?

78 replies

BlueBlueSkies · 12/04/2017 17:34

The kids really want a dog. They have been nagging me for years. As we are all out from 7.30am to 3.30pm Monday to Friday, I feel that is too long to leave a dog alone. I think it is cruel to leave dogs alone. Kids think iabu. Am I?

DH and I both had dogs as kids, as know how lovely they are. But both our mothers were at home all day, so the dogs had company.

I see lots of posters here mention dogs. What do you do? How long do you leave your dogs? Do you have someone to come in each day? Are there breeds that don't mind being on their own?

OP posts:

Jeaniusly · 12/04/2017 18:14

Dogs are lovely. But hard work, i.e. walking twice a day, vet bills, barking mad for the neighbour's delight on occasion .etc.

But I really do think leaving a dog alone for that length of time is a tad too much TBH.

BiteyShark · 12/04/2017 18:16

After your last post I would say don't get one as they are hard work and require commitment to walk them everyday. Your children will lose interest and you will have to do all the work.

As for your first post I leave my dog for around 3 hours at a time before he goes to day care when I am at work.

QuiteLikely5 · 12/04/2017 18:23

I think it's fine. As long as they are used to it from an early age.

mummabubs · 12/04/2017 18:28

@LaGattaNera We have a greyhound too, such a lovely breed. 😊

OP I think this is far too long to be left alone. We both work f/t now (didn't when we got our dog) but to counter this we pay a lot of money to have him walked and dogsat for 4 hours during the day so he's only actually on his own for a couple of hours (during which time he sleeps upside down on the sofa as greys do). We were so paranoid about him being distressed during this time we got a remote video set up so know he is definitely relaxed about the break everyday but there's no way I'd consider this with a more active breed of dog. Part of children learning to be responsible is that you wait until you can meet the dog's needs, not force them to meet yours. (This is coming from someone who also begged parents for a dog for years and years and had to wait until I was 12 as that's when my mum started working from home so was always there to have a dog). X

Barbie222 · 12/04/2017 18:29

Borrow one from the borrow site - your kids will get a good relationship with it and it will sort of be yours for the day without the hassle?

user1485166754 · 12/04/2017 19:08

We have a dog and both DH and I work full time but we come home every lunch time and walk him so he gets about 3-4 walks a day and his happy wth that. If you do get a dog then you will need a a dog walker each day.

Meekonsandwich · 12/04/2017 19:28

I think with a dog flap, it's fine :) shut the kitchen door and let them have the kitchen and back garden. Ditto a kennel in the garden.
Do not underestimate the work involved.
You cannot leave a puppy that long, you'd need to take a few weeks off work, is that feesable? You need to potty train them,.train them to use a flap, train them to be happy alone and not howl bark or get anxious. It's so much work.
You need to let them out 3 times a night in the early stages,who's going to do that?
also puppies and children are a nightmare, puppies bite. And it hurts. They don't learn to stop it unless you train them and it takes time.
I would reccomend an older dog or a pair of dogs.

Dont do it for the kids because I guarantee they're not going to pick up the crap and walk them in the rain and take them to the vet.

Also if you get one, please look into insurance and what it covers.
I've had a nightmare of a time with them; as my dog had a heart murmur which was found in the first two weeks so they wouldn't cover it so I cancelled. She got diagnosed with epilepsy on Monday and will need scans and medication for life (2000+ and 100+ per month) and boy do I wish I kept it.
Good luck.

Meekonsandwich · 12/04/2017 19:34

Have you thought of a rabbit??

Sounds daft but rabbits are much happier indoors, have the same intelligence as a dog and can be caged or crated in the day?

I had a little lion head rabbit and she was so funny, potty training her was a breeze, I gave her a cheerio every time she went in her litter tray in the corner and she would run in there over and over to get more! She would beg for treats and wake me up in the morning for breakfast!

They're so fun to watch, they do binkies and jump with Joy and kick their feet out, and race around rooms!

The only downside is that they DO NOT like to be picked up. People think they're cuddly but children have to be told to leave them to come to them, and stroke and fuss with them by their side or if they climb on you. Mine used to get on the sofa and sprawl out and flop on her side for loves. Or climb up my boyfriend and perch on his shoulders.

Brilliant pets!!

Wando1986 · 12/04/2017 19:40

Our dog has never been left alone for longer than 2 hours and that was only when we went out for Christmas Dinner last year. The longest apart from that is half an hour when I had a GP appointment and no one to mind her. She goes everywhere with me or if I have to go anywhere dogs aren't allowed she goes to my parents house on the way (and gets spoiled like a favourite grandchild ). Not a small dog either, she's a Springer-X.

haveacupoftea · 12/04/2017 19:47

Depends on the dog. A husky pup for example = no. A content little Cavalier lady getting on in years currently residing in the pound and due to be PTS = yes.

AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered · 12/04/2017 20:03

Meek you cannot train a dog to like being alone! It can become accustomed to it in the same way that an abused child will eventually learn not to cry, but it won't be happy

caffeinequick · 12/04/2017 20:08

We had a dog walker come for an hour until I became a sahm. We were out 8-7 and walked her before and after work and the dog walker came at lunch. To be fair she's fabulous at being left. Some dogs/breeds aren't though so research it x

ShitIForgotToUntick · 12/04/2017 20:11

I think it's fine. As long as they are used to it from an early age.

No it's really not. Dogs are social animals and cannot get 'used to' being left alone for 8 hours a day, they would become either very depressed or distressed. The recommended is at most 4 hours at a time. Why don't your kids volunteer to walk dogs at your local rescue OP?

AnUtterIdiot · 12/04/2017 20:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Owllady · 12/04/2017 20:16

It will develop behAvioural issues and your neighbours will report you to environmental health
You will have months of anguish
You'll fall out with your neighbours
Dog will go to rescue
You'll all be broken hearted

Unless you have family close who are willing to help out etc in the daytime, I really don't think it's fair or sensible

Hesdeadjim · 12/04/2017 20:22

Yep too long to leave a dog. In terms of what we do;

I leave the house at 7am
DP leaves at 10am
DP isn't back at 3pm
I get back at 7pm

DP has 1 day off during the week and works Saturdays, I get weekends off so dogs are only on their own for 5 hours 4 days a week.

We also have 2 dogs and a nanny cam. They generally sleep from 10am until 2:30pm, wake up when DP gets home and have a run about, then go back to sleep until I get home!

Lazy buggers.

Blackfellpony · 12/04/2017 20:49

I don't see the point of having a dog if your out all day. Mine are used to being left alone for 4 hours and really don't care too much but I wouldn't leave them more than that.

Veterinari · 12/04/2017 20:56

Good decision Blueblue

I think the alone time is the least of your worries!
Who will do the walking, training, poo picking? Who pays for food, vets bills etc
Dogs live up to around 15 years and cost thousands over their lifetime. Your kids cannot be responsible for that.

I got my first dog when I was 13 - it was too young and after the initial novelty wore off I suspect her first few years were a bit grim.

I took her to uni with me and that changed my attitude - she was my responsibility and I took it all more seriously for the next 10 years. But I suspect a lot of kids grow out of their dogs rather than into them

klondikecookie · 12/04/2017 20:59

Hear me out...But rats might be a good pet for you.

I've had various small animals as housepets (including hamsters and rabbits), but the rats were definitely the best pet. Very affectionate and the girl rats were quite easy to toilet train and even to teach to do tricks.

They need to be kept in at least a pair, and need at least an hour outside of the cage per day (not in a hamster ball, actually running around), but keeping them in the cage throughout the day is no problem (rats need quite big cages though).

I didn't like the idea of rats as pets until a friend got some, and I was quickly converted. I think they're the next best option after a cat or a dog :)

YouTheCat · 12/04/2017 21:00

Our new neighbours have a massive dog. If it's left alone it howls. 3 hours on Friday night.

I think you've made the right decision. You know it would be you left with all the walking duties once the novelty wore off.

Shadowboy · 12/04/2017 21:08

Our two are alone 8am -4pm 3 days a week, term time only. On those days a dog walker comes and they are out approx 2 hours - they love it. I think they are happier on the days we go to work because they get an extra mega long walk with a regular pack. We pay £18 per day for the two of them- not cheap but fab service.

ThreeLeggedHaggis · 12/04/2017 21:22

Have you thought of a rabbit??

Rabbits are TERRIBLE pets for children. Or rather, children are terrible for rabbits. Bunnies are cranky, delicate, and need a lot of care with their diet, stimulation, and dental needs.

Please don't listen to anybody who had a single rabbit - they failed at the very basics of rabbit care.

happy2bhomely · 12/04/2017 22:12

I second the suggestion of rats. We have 2. (We did have 3 but one died a couple of weeks ago .

They make fantastic pets. They are smart and sociable. They love attention and fuss and will happily be held and carried about in pockets and on shoulders.

They can be trained and played with. My dc spend hours building them climbing frames and mazes out of lolly sticks etc.

Ours have never bitten and they aren't timid like rabbits and guinea pigs.

Brilliant pets for older children.

WineAndTiramisu · 12/04/2017 22:28

Rats do make great pets, I'll certainly second that!

Our dogs are sometimes alone in the daytime (DP works normal hours, I do shifts), however they have a dog walker and access to half an acre well secured garden, but they do actually sleep most of the time. There's also 2 of them, i wouldn't do it to a lone dog

lazyarse123 · 12/04/2017 22:34

My neighbour has a dog and she is obviously not aware that he cries most of the day when she is at work. At the moment she is looking after another dog and that one barks all the time when she is not in. I'm trying to find a polite way of telling her whats happening because it's affecting all of us and it's obviously not fair on either of the dogs.

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