Dogs left at home alone?

[BlueBlueSkies]

The kids really want a dog. They have been nagging me for years. As we are all out from 7.30am to 3.30pm Monday to Friday, I feel that is too long to leave a dog alone. I think it is cruel to leave dogs alone. Kids think iabu. Am I?

DH and I both had dogs as kids, as know how lovely they are. But both our mothers were at home all day, so the dogs had company.

I see lots of posters here mention dogs. What do you do? How long do you leave your dogs? Do you have someone to come in each day? Are there breeds that don't mind being on their own?

[DaffodilTime]

I am yet another person who thinks Borrow my Doggie/ an informal arrangement with a local dog owner is a far better route. Dog owners so often need the extra support or a break and we've found we've built up such a big bond with dogs we've helped with that they rush to our door and it feels like having our own but with the strong choice element of having it when it fits in! It's like being a very doting grandparent and because our lives are too busy for our own I'm also really glad to not have one full time which would depress me and make me feel guilty.

[smallchanceofrain]

I agree about the rats. We had three and they were like mini dogs. DS1 trained them to do tricks. One of them used to play fetch. The only downside is that they are very short lived.
We now have a dog and I can't imagine leaving her all day. Dogs live short lives compared to us and if home alone all day, 5 days a week, they will spend most of their lives waiting for you to come home. That's not much of a life.

[5OBalesofHay]

We have goats, who are as much fun as dogs but just get on with stuff (usually plotting anarchy) when we're at work. Dogs are too needy for our lives. If you have a decent garden goats are fab.

[Wolfiefan]

Rats are awesome. Really awesome.
Rabbits aren't ideal pets for kids.
Dogs are fucking hard work. Mine had separation anxiety and if I left her for 30 seconds she would pant,drool, cry, chew her bed and pee on the remnants. So I couldn't leave her. Like ever. I slept next to her for three weeks. The biting. Fuck me. The biting. Toilet accidents. Can't take your eyes off them.
I love my dog to bits and at nearly seven months she's coming along nicely. But it's been intense. Training. Constant attention.
If you don't REALLY REALLY REALLY want a dog then don't do it.

[AbernathysFringe]

Very heartened to see the responses on here. I've seen similar discussions where fuckers think crating is the answer.
Fucking crating. Because they are bored and miserable and chew your stuff.

[BeastofCraggyIsland]

It is not fair to leave a dog - any dog - alone all day on a regular basis. Four hours is the maximum that an adult dog should be left in one go, and much less than that for puppies. Yes there are dogs that tolerate being left all day but that doesn't make it right. They are social animals and need to have company and stimulation. Having two dogs and leaving them for 7-8 hours daily is not the solution either, they need human company. I would also be extremely wary of leaving dogs with unsupervised outdoor access, dog theft is rife and ever-increasing nowadays, and the majority are taken from locked kennels or 'secure' gardens when they have been left there unsupervised.

I work full time (I'm a vet) and I have two dogs. I can bring them to work with me, although since DP and I moved in together a few years ago the dogs usually stay with him as he works from home. They get walked morning (me), lunchtime (DP) and evening (me or both of us). Having a dog is a huge and very long-term commitment and you need to really really want to do it.

I second the suggestions of rats as good pets for children. They are intelligent, sociable and friendly and can be trained to do all sorts. You would need to get a pair as they need ratty company as well; boys are particularly chilled. I do not recommend rabbits as pets for children, they generally do not like being handled and are actually quite high input animals. It is cruel beyond words to get a rabbit and leave it in a small hutch in the garden 23+ hours a day (I'm not suggesting you would do this but it is sadly common). If you don't like the idea of rodents then what about a cat, or ideally two cats? Some cat breeds are quite 'dog like' in their behaviour - Burmese for example, I would LOVE a Burmese but sadly DP is allergic to cats!

[user1471545174]

THEY BARK AND CRY THE WHOLE TIME THEY ARE ALONE.

Just shouting that for the benefit of my NDNs and anyone else daft and cruel enough to leave a needy animal alone all day because the kids really wanted a dog.

[Wolfiefan]

@AbernathysFringe
I do crate. Overnight. Like from now until after 6am. I am sitting on the floor waiting to check she's settled right now actually! I have a baby monitor so I hear her the minute she wakes.
She naps in there.
She goes in whilst I pick up the kids from school and later whilst we eat dinner.
It took me weeks to gradually have it become a safe and happy place for her to rest.
I think far too many people see crate training as shut the dog in and walk away. Ignore crying. Leave the dog for longer each time.

[Ontheboardwalk]

As a NDN to two dogs left alone all day please don't get dogs if you can't look after them. All dogs bark at postmen etc but one of them just can't stop barking and howling for hours after the slightest thing - it's heartbreaking to hear. They go for one walk a day and aren't allowed in the main front garden because it's decked so only have a tiny run at the back. I've spoken to my NDN who thought I was sticking my nose in because 'the dogs just slept during the day'

[Rainbunny]

I think a little differently than some posters here. If you are adopting a rescue dog then I think at the end of the day the dog will still have a better life with a family that loves it even if they are out during the daytime. This comes with a massive BUT though... the dog will need a chance to relieve itself - garden access at the least and preferably a dog walker to provide decent opportunities for exercise. You might want to consider seeing if there is a couple of dogs you could adopt, sometimes there are dogs who have been together for years who end up in shelters and the organisations try to rehome them together. If you would like a dog with less exercise needs consider an older dog that needs a home, they get overlooked all the time in shelters because people want younger puppies.

We have a dog that we adopted 6 years ago, we love him to bits and we put him in doggy daycare when we are out all day which he loves (and costs us a fortune...). he brings immense joy and love to our lives but he is also a major commitment. We don't go on holiday for longer than a week ever because we miss him, we know he misses us and it's expensive to board him. I already mentioned we spend a lot of money on daycare for him (same cost as a dog walker so no difference there) and there's vet's fees etc... I can't imagine life without him but when he finally goes (hopefully not for many years) we probably won't consider getting another dog until we have retired.

[klondikecookie]

Loving all the rat love

[WankingMonkey]

Those saying 8 hours is too long for a dog to not use the loo...what about overnight? Do people get up and let the dog out during the night?

I don't think its a good idea to get a dog in your circumstances OP. Maybe when one of the kids finishes school so they can dedicate more time to the dog.

[WankingMonkey]

Also we had dogs when I was at school. Parents both worked. Came home one day and the smaller dog has CHEWED THROUGH THE WALL! The wall connecting the lounge and kitchen. My dad was not thrilled

[BiteyShark]

Monkey dogs typically can hold their pee for longer when they are sleeping.

[BlueBlueSkies]

Thanks for all the advice.

I have had a chat with the kids and explained that it is not that I am horrid and mean for not letting them have a dog. In our circumstances it would be cruel and unkind to the dog.

Rats - I really do not like rodents. We used to have a snake and he was cute, but not much fun.

I would love to have a cat, but DD is allergic, and starts sneezing when NDN's cat comes in for a wander round in the summer. Though she did not react to a siamese. So if I could find a rescue siamese we could be sorted. Just DH to convince then.

[BeastofCraggyIsland]

Honestly try to meet a few Burmese, they are such awesome cats and they are a Siamese cross so she may not react to them either. They're not quite as gobby as pure Siamese and they are by far the most consistently friendly and people-loving breed of cat I've worked with.

I think you've definitely done the right thing. No reputable rescue will rehome a dog to a full-time working home, not without extensive and guaranteed provision in place anyway (family nearby, dog walker, daycare etc.). Guide Dogs, Hearing Dogs etc. do not place their breeding dogs or socialising puppies/dogs with full-time workers. There is a reason for all of this. You may be able to get a dog from a pound in that situation but then you have no prior assessment of the dog and no back up if/when it all goes wrong.

As said, most healthy adult dogs can hold their bladder and bowels overnight as they are asleep, same as with humans. It's not the case for young puppies and a lot of older dogs though. I can easily go from midnight-8am without needing to pee but would struggle to go from 8am-4pm when I'm up, awake, eating and drinking etc. without being very uncomfortable.

[Darbs76]

It's too long. I'm getting one but work 3 days and going to pay for doggy daycare

[Darbs76]

Join borrow my dog and you might be able to borrow a dog at weekend or kids can help you take it for a walk

[Wolfiefan]

Burmese cats are stunning. But prepare to be a slave! Look at breed rescues maybe?
I'm allergic to one of my two moggies?!?! They are sisters and look identical n

[Albatross26]

I dogsit quite often for a friend, usually over weekends and school holidays but occasionally I've had to leave her from 9- 3 whilst dp and I are working. She's absolutely fine and is often asleep in the same place as I left her, but she is a 12 year old very chilled out spaniel who seems happy to sleep all day. Wouldn't be happy leaving a younger dog I don't think

[Gingerbreadmam]

we have a mini dachshund who is usually alone 8.30-4.00pm. We pay a family friend to check on him at mid day. We walk him on a morning for about 20mins - half an hour which is more than enough for him.

He is fine on his own but does miss us. He is very tieing too, no more holidays abroad for us. It is a huge commitment.

[mustiwearabra]

I wouldn't leave for more than 4 hours, 5 hours max. They need the toilet and quite rightly will become destructive due to boredom if left for longer.

[Meekonsandwich]

@ThreeLeggedHaggis

Actually I did not fail at basic rabbit care. She was a rescue and I did not want to risk placing her with another rabbit and being rejected and have to separate them or send one back. She had never lived with another rabbit and any attempts ended in aggression.

I was home 24/7 due to agoraphobia and always had me for company.

Less judge mcjudgey pants without knowing the facts please.

[NoBetterName]

We have three dogs, but my main working hours are 3pm-10pm and dh is usually home by 5pm, or 6 at the latest so they are not routinely left for more than 2-3hours per day.

They are very occasionally left for longer if we've got a special day out planned, but try to arrange for someone to come in and let them out. That only tends to happen once or twice a year and they've got each other for company.

NDN dog is left all day routinely and it howls all day too.

[Meekonsandwich]

Those that say rabbits are not ideal pets for kids, why?

Just because dogs are more robust does not mean they should be man handled either, picked up, prodded or hugged.

It's all about teaching children how they should behave around animals.
I think a lot of children are disappointed when they're taught how to act around animals, they don't realise dogs need a lot of excersize and training, they don't like hugs ect, hamsters are nocturnal and bite, cats like to go out and hunt and don't always appreciate fuss and cuddles.

Fish. Fish are good pets for children haha!!