Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

To have bought DSs provisional licence for him?

61 replies

Zhan · 12/04/2017 17:19

DS (18) asked if I would buy him his provisional license. DH said no and that he should buy stuff like that himself.
He's still at college and has worked on and off since the age of 14. He's just landed a new job which starts end of this month to do alongside his a-levels. He asked again about the provisional and DH said no as his son had to buy his own. This got me thinking, his son has never worked a day in his life and is not at college getting a bursary or anything so surely someone must have bought that for him? Even if it wasn't us? Either his mum (who he lives with) or out of money given to him by his grandma but the point is, it's not as if he's gone out and wasn't the money to buy it, is it? So why should DS have to?
This has happened a few times when I've wanted to buy DS something and DH has said no because we didn't do it for his kids (such as license, trips, even cinema etc) but when his kids come here they naturally talk about how their mum has bought them this and paid for that - DH says it's nothing to do with us what their mother pays for but doesn't seem to realise that I am my kids version of what his kids have with their mother!

I'm dreading him finding out about the licence but I don't think I was wrong to pay for it, was I?

OP posts:

neonrainbow · 13/04/2017 08:29

Why do you allow him to financially abuse you and your children?

Polisee · 13/04/2017 09:08

What do you kids think about him?

AyeAmarok · 13/04/2017 09:31

Yes you are. You must think we came up the Clyde in a bubble.

It's the same story (and response) every single time. You always claim that you spoke to him and sorted it out after the last time, but then a few days/weeks/months later it happens again. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Weirdly, so many of your previous threads under various names were deleted for being a PBP, so maybe you've forgotten how many threads you've posted. I know I've read about 50, of the exact same scenario, only difference is one thread he's kicked off about birthday cake, the next it's you buying DS a t-shirt, then them drinking a bottle of coke, and then eating doughnuts...

Pollypickypocket · 13/04/2017 09:43

Let's be straight here he's not abusive - you are - you are their mother and you choose to live with him and have abided by his rules - you have a 16 year old with no phone contract who has to travel on 2 buses because of where you choose to live as a couple?? What the fuck are they supposed to do in an emergency ? Understandable and unavoidable if you were strapped for cash but you obviously arnt ! You choose to continue to live with this man - you choose to expose your children to his abuse - your not a battered wife with no options - your not scared - you just choose to live with it and make your children live with it. You are not the victim but your children are.

MadMags · 13/04/2017 10:16

Yes, it IS you.

I didn't realise so many of your threads had been deleted for being PBP because I got so fed up with you and stopped reading them.

So, I can only hope you're a troll, albeit a rather crap one. Because the alternative is you have your children in this situation which is a million times worse than some saddo trolling on the internet.

expatinscotland · 13/04/2017 11:47

'I said we get £300 a both for the kids with maintenance and child benefit combined and it amounts to financial abuse that they don't see that money.'

And we get £300? No, you do, for them.

But Aye's right, it's always the same with you.

happypoobum · 13/04/2017 12:33

Zhan - I mean this kindly, but there is no point in raising thread after thread about this abusive wankbadger husband of yours and doing nothing about it.

Your poor children

LongtimeLurkerNowPokemonHunter · 13/04/2017 12:34

Not read the whole thread, but even from page one is this not the same man you write about all the time op?

LongtimeLurkerNowPokemonHunter · 13/04/2017 12:36

Oh caught up. Yup, same again.

I hope you get the strength to leave if this is real.

MadMags · 13/04/2017 16:55

I don't understand why you keep posting these threads.

You don't listen to anyone. Things never improve...what do you want from people?!

brassbrass · 13/04/2017 17:19

I would also prefer it if you were a troll. Then it would mean your poor children aren't having to put up with a mum that doesn't fight their corner. You might think you are with each of these petty battles but actually if you look at the bigger picture it's a really unhealthy environment for them to be in.

Why are you running your finances past him anyway?! Your CM and CB are for you and your kids.

Flip

1 2 3