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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think we can survive on £50k

100 replies

Hadenoughtoday01 · 12/04/2017 11:41

My DH lost his job the other day, Brexit (i.e sterling) related concerns to the internet start up he was working for. Others lost jobs there too too.
Now his income had pushed us above £100k (household income) which sounds like so much but actually (we both pay into company pensions) it wasn't. Now he has lost his job I'm quite concerned. Can we survive on my income - that amount above includes a bonus and freelance work I do.
The real killer for us is childcare - my youngest doesn't start school until September, however we have paid pre school fees up to the end of the summer term (we could get these back as DH salary only paid up to end of May) but she is thriving there. I'm just wondering what we can cut back on. We shop at Aldi, only buy the DCs new clothes when I make some extra freelancing (have to put half away in savings account for HMRC), my only luxury is highlights every six months and new trainers (I get free gym membership with my work). I
We owe £1,500 on credit cards and I'm paying a tax bill delayed from maternity leave. I feel like asking this might attract some negative comments, but I work in the City of London and we live in an expensive part of the South East...

OP posts:

onwardsandbeyond · 12/04/2017 19:13

I think £50k is a lot of money to live on. yes, depends on your outgoing but given that is it is still much more than most families have coming in, it should be manageable.

I would certainly scrap the nursery. I really don't see how you need of and your DD will survive this disruption. Also, any possibility to cancel the holidays? surely this is anything but essential.

WildBelle · 12/04/2017 19:22

Another one saying dh could easily do childcare with depression. I have long term depression and PTSD, it can be really debilitating, but I am a lone parent to 2 children (and when I say lone, I mean 100% of the time). I cope, becuase I have to, there isn't another choice. If you present it to him as a situation where he has no choice, he'll cope too. He might not find it easy but tough bananas until he gets another job.

Thirtyrock39 · 12/04/2017 19:30

It's a short summer term anyway so I'd scrap some of the childcare for youngest. If the preschool is better use your 15 hours for that and scrap the other one. Cut your credit card up. I'm amazed you only spend £300 on food that's impressive and I'm a budget aldi shipper too.
Our household income is this . Normal stuff fine but we can't afford holidays or posh cars. Often run out by end of month though we are bad for spending to much at start of month!

NotMyPenguin · 13/04/2017 07:45

Do you feel you are going to get any sort of support from your DH through these next months - emotional, financial, practical?

FanDabbyFloozy · 13/04/2017 08:02

You mentioned that your DH worked for an internet start-up. If so, is he technical?
There are a lot of tech jobs out there at the moment and if sounds like his salary wasn't excessive (in that industry) so he should pick up something else.

skerrywind · 13/04/2017 08:09

50K is a huge amount to live on for many.

I agree with others if your OH is in IT then will be able to get another job easily.

Foffyouwanker · 13/04/2017 08:38

50k? Of course you can survive on that, you certainly don't need a hardship fund Ffs!

skerrywind · 13/04/2017 08:44

I find this thread quite insulting to families who do struggle financially.
OP you do realise that the average salary in the UK is £26K, which is £24K a year more than you will try to struggle on.

FanDabbyFloozy · 13/04/2017 09:06

skerrywind How many of those are paying £12K/annum on rent, excessive commuting costs and after-school care? She's in a difficult position because commuting and after-school club can't be reduced.

Yes - living in parts of the North, this goes a long way but truly not the case in the SE.

aintnothinbutagstring · 13/04/2017 09:21

We live in the SE in a so called yuppy commuter town so not cheap. We've survived on around 50 to 60k for years, saved to buy our own place, go on a few nice holidays abroad, eat out now and again, kids do expensive music lessons and other activities, we have no debts. Though we drive old bangers and don't buy much in the way of new clothes or fancy things for our house. I'd always think it sensible to aim to survive on one income and save the other or use as 'extra'.

FanDabbyFloozy · 13/04/2017 09:26

aintnothinbutagstring Were you paying a grand a month in mortgage/rent, plus probably about £3-5K a year on travel costs? If so, that's truly impressive.

I'd calculate that rent and commuting is well over half the OP's wage, the there's after-school club costs. None are optional so can't be cut down.

gamerwidow · 13/04/2017 09:36

OP I would get a new credit card which has 0% for balance transfers for 12 months or more and move your existing credit card debt to the new card. This at least means you can stop paying the debt without incurring extra interest until you get back on your feet.
My Dh and I have a combined income of £50k and pay £800 on mortgage and housing costs plus £300-£600 childcare (depending on if its term time or holiday) plus two lots of train fares from zone 6 to zone 1 each month.
We're not rolling in money but I wouldn't say we're uncomfortable either.

aintnothinbutagstring · 13/04/2017 09:39

No, we took a cheap rental so we could have extra to save, that was our own personal priority at the time. My dh has always had to travel 30-40miles each way for his work so we've had a significant fuel cost. I do night shift but my place of work is very local so have no commuting cost. I think it's more attitude to spending. Even now we've bought our place, we've taken on somewhere far below what we could afford 'just in case', which seems to be our motto in life. But we've both come from poor backgrounds so are probably able to make do with far less than those that haven't. Not sure why a 4 bed house is not optional even if you get a nice deal for it, for example what is the cost of a 2/3 bed in the same area?

aintnothinbutagstring · 13/04/2017 09:50

Even renting a big house is probably a false economy in the OPs case as you'll pay more in energy and a higher council tax band.

PollyPerky · 13/04/2017 10:07

OP you do realise that the average salary in the UK is £26K, which is £24K a year more than you will try to struggle on.

Yes but I bet those families are not living in the SE or London where a 1 bed flat costs anything from £300K!

In the north you can pick up a house of sorts for £70K. Cheapest where I live is around £250K for a 1 bed flat and £300K for a 2 up 2 down tiny house.

skerrywind · 13/04/2017 10:17

But housing costs are high in London- that doesn't alter the average wage though.

Just because you may need or like to earn 100K doesn't make it happen.

KitKats28 · 13/04/2017 16:16

@skerrywind, that is a pointless argument though. As I said before, if all your outgoings are based on a particular income, then having it halved overnight is going to cause financial problems. If you are on £26k and it suddenly goes to £13k, it's all relative.

skerrywind · 13/04/2017 17:31

kitkat- not really- because certain needs must be met.

Basics needs cost the same no matter what you earn- kids shoes, toilet roll, food, fuel, prescriptions, dentists, school uniform.

Having your income cut from £26K to £13K will cause a great deal more hardship than if is is cut from £100K to 50K.

People on lower incomes need to spend a higher percentage on basic needs than high earners.

So no, it's not all relative.

mirime · 13/04/2017 23:22

JanetBrown having worked in retail I found it rather damaging to my mental health. And retail work isn't necessarily easy to get, they might consider him over qualified or if he is depressed he may not be able to convince that he can do the cheerful customer service side.

JanetBrown2015 · 14/04/2017 08:26

The husband is depressed and out of work and the family needs money. I don't think it's unreasonable unless he's bed bound that he should try to get a temporary job even if he doesn't like it, just for the good of the family. I don't however know how bad his depression is. My brother is a psychiatrist and I do k now how awful depression can be of course.

My son got his postman job and he has a degree (he left 2 weeks ago). In fact they cannot get enough good people who will stay in that job so I am not convinced some of these lower paid jobs will reject people who are well qualified for more.

JanetBrown2015 · 14/04/2017 08:28

Also psychologically the longer you have off work with these conditions the worse it can be - the harder to get back. The long term sick often are happier if they can get back into some kind of work before it becomes a pattern of just staying at home. If you have young children your obligations to them financially also mean most parents make a supreme effort even if they don't feel like it in trying go bring in some kind of income. However I have no idea how bad this man is. He was working until made redundant so that suggests his depression is not so bad he cannot work at all unless he's had a major recent relapse.

Mermaidinthesea123 · 14/04/2017 08:36

Well post divorce and living south east and only working part time I do a budget plan each and every month. I can't work any more than 4 days a week due to ill health.
I list incomings and outgoings religiously. Then work out how much I have left for the month.
I suggest you start there.

felinewonderful · 14/04/2017 08:39

We have a household income of £36k for myself, dh and 3 dcs. We don't struggle and have disposable income. It depends on your outgoings but 50k is a reasonable amount to live on in my opinion

smilingsarahb · 14/04/2017 08:45

It's a real shock for you. Most people spend everything they have so a sudden loss of income has a big impact.mortgages, debts etc are set at the income you have and often you are tied to contracts. But once you adjust if course it's possible. I think things like ringing all your suppliers to negotiate down cost, taking one car off the road can help. We live in a very expensive bit of south east on 47k income, both of us working.

Ta1kinPeace · 14/04/2017 09:34

50% of households in London have an income under £26,000
Nationally
50% of households have an income under £21,000

Benefits are for people in the bottom 20%
Anybody even thinking about school fees has a long way to fall before they reach poverty.

Going teetotal and home cooking all meals, scrapping private school and paid child care will allow OP to balance the books.

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