AIBU or does anyone else think their DH sometimes seems like another child?!

[tigercub50]

Honestly, I suppose we all have our moments, but I do sometimes feel I have 2 kids not just one! We were having words & because DH was being a certain way about what he was doing I said (trying to keep it light) that I would need to be out of the way when he was doing the wallpapering. He retorted that if he had said something like that I would have said he was being sarcastic. And in the end, he said he wouldn't do the wallpapering. I have to say that we are emerging from years of problems & things are generally loads better but I can't be doing with this throwing his toys out of the pram. Wish I'd said something like "Act your age not your shoe size"! We can't afford to get someone in to decorate. Presumably he didn't mean it. Perhaps we are both hyper sensitive but I certainly wasn't being sarcastic

Looking back through the posts, it is exhausting! Life's too short & I do tend to analyse & fret over every little thing whereas DH lets things go. I have got used to walking on eggshells because of how he used to behave but it's getting easier for both of us to argue normally, if that makes sense. I actually managed to show my feelings whereas before he acted as if they weren't valid. It's really difficult to explain how it's been but hopefully we are heading towards a much healthier relationship.

I am going to a therapist to help with anxiety ( not all connected to the relationship) & DH has been offered CBT to help change his emotional responses ( he has tended to be quite manipulative & his arguing style is to get very defensive & deflect onto me). He's not grudgingly going but it is frustrating that there is a waiting list.

BetrandRussell, any ideas on how not to enable it? As I said before, walking away is probably a good start. My parents always used to say that I would escalate arguments by going on & on & on & I do admit that can be what I do. My need to be right I guess. This frustrates my DH too.

I think the number one rule of not enabling is to never ever give in to a huff, sulk, strop or other toddler like behaviour. Do the "offending" thing more. If the person wants to ask you to do something different, they can bloody well ask like an adult. You can still choose to refuse, even if they ask nicely.

I've known women who will change their minds just because their partner sighs and makes a sad face. Then they moan about how their partners get everything their own way.

I feel this way about my husband sometimes