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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be mad at DH

41 replies

cparker1990 · 11/04/2017 01:55

Long story short, DH rear ended someone in his truck when we were going out for dinner, his fault. Baby is fine, thank the lord, it was only a small hit. DH has been so apologetic but I just can't help getting angry at him. I just don't understand how he could be careless enough to cause a car accident, especially when I'm pregnant. And now I have to worry about where we are going to get the money for raised car insurance rates, which has caused me to get really mad at him recently. AIBU?

OP posts:
Rawr · 11/04/2017 02:03

This is a vague post, accidents happen.

LouisevilleLlama · 11/04/2017 02:07

i get that its scary with a baby in the car and you pregnant, but i think as long as nobody was hurt and it was a genuine accident and not him driving stupid then i agree accidents happen.

VimFuego101 · 11/04/2017 02:42

If it was genuinely an accident, YABU.

Mrsknackered · 11/04/2017 02:55

YABU. It was an accident. How would you feel if you were driving and it happened and he was hard on you for being careless with a baby on board? You'd feel shit.
Blame it on hormones, and move on.

SpreadYourHappiness · 11/04/2017 02:59

YABVU. It's an accident, he didn't deliberately do it. You have no right to be mad at him.

Whyarealltheusernamestaken · 11/04/2017 03:01

Yabvu, it was an accident, he didn't intentionally mean to hurt you, yet you are blaming him. Give him a break as he probably feels bad already

lazydog · 11/04/2017 03:05

If it was a momentary lapse of concentration or an unavoidable external distraction, YABU.

However, if he was using a phone at the time, YANBU.

kiwimumof2boys · 11/04/2017 03:06

YABU. Sorry, but these things happen. I would only be cross if he was drunk or deliberately driving stupidly. I accidently rear ended another car a few weeks ago and wrote off our car - I was extremely annoyed at myself more than anything. The main thing is that you and your DC were unharmed. As the car dealer pointed out - cars are easy to replace but people aren't!

user1234566 · 11/04/2017 03:15

Whilst I can understand how you feel especially with being pregnant and baby in the car I would just be glad he is apologetic. At the end of the day though it was an accident and he's apologised. What would be worse in my eyes is if he didn't care at all but understand that yes it is still frustrating

steff13 · 11/04/2017 03:32

It was an accident, accidents happen. YABU to be angry with him. If you're worried, you could drive from now on.

MrsTerryPratchett · 11/04/2017 03:47

Depends. Does he leave a decent stopping distance? I can't stand tail-gaters.

PyongyangKipperbang · 11/04/2017 04:13

YANBU for the initial "FFS!!!!! How on earth could you do that?!" reaction. But you do need to let it go. Shit happens, and I say that as the non fault driver in three accidents!

As my BIL said when the guy he rear ended kept ringing him with goady comments about the cost of the accident, thats what insurance is for. Yes your premiums will increase but nowhwere near what it would cost if you were paying cash for their repairs.

It could have been so much worse, hang on to that.

Rawr · 11/04/2017 04:17

However, if he was using a phone at the time, YANBU.

Where did that come from? There's no mentions of phones literally anywhere in this post.

Eminado · 11/04/2017 04:19

Wow OP - your reaction is weird to me. Do you never make a mistake? Ever?

lazydog · 11/04/2017 05:03

Rawr
Hence my use of the word "if"... Confused

SuperBeagle · 11/04/2017 05:54

Maybe you should drive if you think you'd be less inclined to have an accident

OliviaStabler · 11/04/2017 05:58

Accidents happen. Have you never bumped into someone or something by mistake?

MudCity · 11/04/2017 06:00

YABVU. Accidents happen. Perhaps you may feel happier driving yourself?

Is he usually a safe driver?

Mummyoflittledragon · 11/04/2017 06:38

I rear ended a car with my dd in it when she was 2.5, I was going very slowly so no one injured. Accidents happen. Is this your ultra protective mummy pregnancy hormones talking?

Charlie97 · 11/04/2017 06:59

Drive yourself in future.

The only person that never made a mistake driving (some of which end in accidents) Is a person that never drove.

To err is human.

Yabvu

namechange20050 · 11/04/2017 07:03

How would you feel if you had had the accident and your DH was blaming you? You'd rightly think that he was being unfair. Accidents happen op.

LadyFlumpalot · 11/04/2017 07:03

YABU I'm afraid. When I was pregnant with DS, DH wrote my little convertible (my pride and joy at the time) off whilst I was in it by turning straight in front of someone after he misjudged the distance. He was so upset himself that for me to be angry with him also would have been cruel.

KateDaniels2 · 11/04/2017 07:04

Yabu. What if yiu have a small accident (car or otherwise) that involves your child? How would you feel if dh was angry at you?

Accidents happen. They will happen to you too.

You are holding a person to too hight standards if you expect him to never make a mistake or have an accident.

DressMeUpInStitches · 11/04/2017 07:04

I rear ended someone when pregnant. He hesitated at a roundabout when it was clear, I saw the clear traffic and asumed he'd gone as it was clear and bumped straight in to the back of him.
Total accident, didn't do it on purpose and I'd feel like shit if someone kept going on about it.

JustMumNowNotMe · 11/04/2017 07:09

You are being awful, it was an accident and you are holding it over him like he deliberately tried to hurt his child and you.

Apologise and let it go.