To feed a child if they said they are hungry?

[M2R2]

Dd is so skinny, always been a fussy eater. So if she ask for food i am always delighted to give her no matter what time it is.
Once she woke up around mid night said she is hungry cant go back to sleep and i made her a sandwich to eat in bed while half asleep.
I do know that not all parents have this problem. But I don't know how to tell a child no if they ask for food. My niece is staying over and her mum asked me not to feed her after 7. Her and dd came to me around 8 and they said they want to eat and they are hungry I couldn't say no. Was I unreasonable to give a small sandwich. She looks healthy not overweight. WWUD?

If she wakes at midnight why don't you just say "Go back to sleep"? Nonsensical indulgence to trot around making sandwiches.

Agree with Pyong - she may be skinny but she may be well within normal weight ranges and you may well not need to "fatten her up" by giving her food outside normal meals plus maybe occasional snacks. Small ish DC are meant to have their ribs showing.

This is a really interesting presentation - look at the photos of a boy and girl on the 50th percentile, i.e. average weight. They look pretty slim but are actually average weight! Not even healthy and skinny!

I don't know, I've woken up in the early hours before absolutely ravenous. Got up, drank a pint of water and was still hungry so had some ham and cheese and went back to sleep. You could hear my stomach rumbling

Stoopido - the reason to restrict your DC's access to food is that (with smaller children at least), they don't actually always know when they are hungry. I am certain my DC (aged almost 6, and 8) sometimes ask for food when they are bored.

By giving them food (even healthy food) when they aren't actually hungry, I would be making them unhealthy. It's like saying "I watch the TV whenever I want, I don't see why they can't" or "I can go choose to do my chores whenever I want, I don't see why they can't do their homework / empty the dishwasher at midnight either".

YANBU.

Our bodies are amazing, they tell you what they need, so if you're hungry eat, if you're not, don't.

I would have fed her as well.

Learned this from anorexic dd. It makes no difference to your weight what time of day you eat calories. It's the daily total that counts.
When my kids were younger they would constantly ask for snacks. I told them kitchen closed at 8pm. If I didn't they'd be up until late at night back and forth in addition to the "I'm thirsty" " my leg hurts" my head hurts" "can we have another story?" "Tell me about when I was a baby."
You have to have a cut off point.

I must add, my dd doesn't ask much for food so when she ask i know she is hungry.
Fir my niece last time she was over she did mention that they never have dinner at her house. They have breakfast then late lunch as she call it (today was at 4pm as i was there).
My dh is home late these days and we normally have dinner at 7/7:30 i know a bit late but as working parents thats the best we can do. Dd normally eat with us even though i would give her a snack ( small meal at 3:30/4 after school).
Today I didn't call the girls as i felt that they did eat after 4 so probably not hungry. But they came to the kitchen asking whats for dinner then half an hour later they said they are really hungry and wants to eat.
I felt that they are hungry, made a small sandwich, they did want sweet after that but i said no.
For me it felt like a 3 meals day not unusual.
As for dd being skinny i am talking about a 9 year old who wear her 4 year old skirts and fit perfectly. So quiet skinny for her age, i would be over the moon if i see her putting some weight. Gp said she look healthy and happily playing have energy and they are not worried but they didn't do any tests. I feel they are more concerned about over weight ppl than under weight 😞

Make sure child cleans teeth half an hour after and tell mother about it. Not something I'd do but nobody will die as a result

If it's your own child you know. DD2 (4) is a waif of a thing and if she is hungry at bedtime I'll feed her. DD3 (2) is mummy's baby (a greedy monkey) so if she tells me she wants milky in the middle of the night or hungry between meals she isn't getting fed!

But at that age I'd abide by mums rules and ask her reasoning why.

HOWEVER I also think she shouldn't have imposed the rules as its babysitter prerogative to spoil a child and bend the rules

I must add that the one time dd woke up at midnight she wasn't feeling well and didn't have much of her dinner.
That night i was so sad that she slept with an empty stomach so was so happy when she woke up 😋

Check her BMI it will hopefully be normal and should put your mind at ease.

DD is 12 and still wears 9 yr old clothes (try getting senior school kit in those sizes!) because she is little. She is shorter than average so is skinnier than other kids her age too, but she is not at all unhealthy. If your DD is energetic, generally sleeps well and her hair and skin look healthy then she is very unlikely to be suffering from a lack of anything.

Wigeon - My children do know when they are hungry. They are 9 and 7, of slim build and eat healthy diets. They are quite light eaters too so don't usually eat out of boredom (atm). I like to think I educate my children about food but won't restrict them from having any.

Was I unreasonable to give a small sandwich. She looks healthy not overweight. WWUD?

Hmm. I'd say yes you were being unreasonable but easily forgiven here. My DS (8) is a healthy weight. Very active. He's on the go 24/7. He'll also tell you he's hungry every ten bloody minutes sometimes all the time on some days. He's not. He either needs a drink or is bored. We had a lovely fsu out today with a picnic. Was running a little late on the wah home so I bought them both a pan au chocolat. (him & his sister). The bus ride takes 30 minutes. By the time we'd got off he was telling me he was hungry again. he wasn't he was thirsty.

If the mum said no food after 7 and this happens again I'd compromise with a glass of milk or something.

If a children has a medical condition that makes it impossible to self-regulate appetite, then feeding on request is unreasonable.

However, if there are no such issues (and you would presumably have been told if so), then I see nothing wrong with providing a drink of water or milk then (assuming still hungry) a small snack.

Checking the chart she is definitely under 50th centile.
She is not petite her hight is between 50th and 75th centile.

She is 16th still count as healthy weight.
I am not obsessed with her weight just sometimes hope she is a bit more

A fussy eater with a mum who is always delighted to give her food, no matter what time it is?

Keep reading that back OP and think about why your child can afford to be a fussy eater.

Don't get me wrong, if one of mine was so hungry at midnight they couldn't get back to sleep, I would have given them a biscuit and a drink of milk, but it would seriously be a one-off.

I'm sure we'd all be fussy eaters if we had a free food service 24/7.

A sandwich to eat in bed while half asleep at midnight?
One of mine is a resistant eater who has routinely been admitted to hospital for it. I would do a midnight sandwich if asked.

Someone else's child perhaps not. But I would have asked why no food after 7

Worra you are assuming that she eats all the time. She doesn't.
She have 3 meals a day rarely have any snacks in between.
Her meal is almost equal to what her 18 months old eat.
She is not bothered with food. Since day one.
Health visitors used to say she will eat when she is hungry. But she is almost never hungry.
I remember she was about 1 when she had breakfast. And nothing else till 5pm as she refused to eat. Even after the long day with no food her meal at 5 was 1 full table spoon of what ever I offered her back then.
That was a norm for her. A couple of tablespoons a day.

Her weight is normal. OK so its on the lower side but thats good. Women especially tend to put on weight during puberty and then again during pregnancy, but being naturally slim will help her avoid becoming overweight as she grows. If she wasnt eating enough, despite her small meals, then she would be underweight and ill and she isnt. Thats why the doctor didnt have any concerns, because there is nothing to be concerned about.

She really doesnt need to be any bigger, but I think we as a nation need to realise that what we think of as "normal" is usually overweight. Your DD is normal :)

I think she is watching her weight.
She is a year younger than dd but taller.
So she is 8 but her clothes is 9/10 and i feel that it bother the mum. But its her hight she is not chubby at all good healthy weight.
The mum also mentioned not to give her sweets and that she thought dd have sweets all the time at my house which is not right. I only allow one sweet a day after lunch.

I don't really understand the problem then if she rarely eats between meals?

If both her and your niece were still hungry after dinner, you were not unreasonable to feed them again, assuming they didn't eat enough to fill themselves up.

But I would probably encourage them to eat more of their meal in the first place.

Oh and re the clothes....its not just adults clothes sizes that are bigger, kids clothes are too. Thats why if you have a normal sized child you will need to buy smaller sizes.

Why would you eat anything after supper? If you eat around 7 surely no-one has anything else before bed, especially children who need sleep more

Not the end of the world but possibly encouraging pickiness

I'd have fed them and I'd have made my dcs a sandwich (now they're older I'd tell them to make it) at any time if they felt genuinely hungry. Just as I'd do for myself.

I have very unfussy dcs who I have never encouraged to eat more- if they're hungry they eat, when they're not they stop. We have approx meal times so if I was cooking dinner I'd tell them to wait obviously!

Forget about it now, it's not the end of the world!