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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU that I am not too old.

86 replies

Lonelymummyof1 · 09/04/2017 11:03

So after a conversation with a delightful teenager, who asked when I was thinking about getting married because I am now apparently 1/3 of the way through my entire life Smile ( charming I know )
It got me thinking I have never really thought about getting married yet.
How old were you when took the plunge ?
Now I know who I want to marry when the time comes just never seen the rush.

OP posts:
Raggydolly3 · 09/04/2017 11:12

I was young at 22. Had know husband to be for 3 years, engaged after 6.
Funny I had planned not to get married to my 30s at least but I met the right man, who is still the right man.

I guess you just know when the time is right

Pigface1 · 09/04/2017 11:15

28 when we got engaged, 29 when we got married. Had been together since we were 23.

Now 31. Loads and loads of our friends aren't married yet though - is actually say we're in the minority.

Raggydolly3 · 09/04/2017 11:16

But then again if he has not wanted to get married for some reason I would have happy not to

FinallyHere · 09/04/2017 11:17

When i realised what the impact of the then levels of inheritance tax would mean for a surviving, unmarried partner. Bit of a romantic, sigh.

NapQueen · 09/04/2017 11:17
  1. Had been together since we were 18.
FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 09/04/2017 11:18

Got together at 21, married a couple of months before I turned 30.

Had kids at 26 and 29 though.

Honestly I wasn't at all bothered and mainly did it for the security. It was like - if I'm not committed after three kids why would a piece of paper make me more committed?

M00nUnit · 09/04/2017 11:18

Got together with my husband at 37 and married the day before my 38th birthday.

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 09/04/2017 11:18

It's not so much that you need to get married young I'd say but that you really need to have brought a property by now (if home ownership is your goal of course) .

StandAndBeCounted · 09/04/2017 11:19
  1. We'd been together for 6 years and had DC aged 2 and 4
Birdsgottaf1y · 09/04/2017 11:19

I also got married at 22, we'd been living together from when i was 17.

Marriage isn't something that you have to do and it can be done at any age.

Don't put serious thought in what a teenager says in regards to "too old", and "life stages" statements.

BigFatHairyOrangutan · 09/04/2017 11:21

I got married when i was 19. Had children at ages 19, 22 and 25. We are still happily married 30 years laterSmile

Birdsgottaf1y · 09/04/2017 11:22

"" but that you really need to have brought a property by now (if home ownership is your goal of course) ""

If you're renting then it makes sense to buy, under some conditions.

However i'm getting my first independent mortgage at 50 and quite a few of my peer group are doing likewise (and getting married).

Again, it's like having children, it's a personal decision based on your circumstances.

Helbelle75 · 09/04/2017 11:26

40! Didn't meet DH until I was 37.

animalsAreDelicious · 09/04/2017 11:29

I was 22 when he proposed, 23 when we got married. That was in 1983 and we're still happily married.

I have never been religious but do like the idea of marriage. I'm not entirely sure why. Perhaps just because churches seem like nice venues and it's a lovely occasion and formalising of boyfriend / girlfriend or progression to the next stage maybe. I don't think people would have understood DP or OH or 'life partner' back then.

Things have changed a lot in the thirty + years since we were married but I'd do it the same way again.

user1469914265 · 09/04/2017 11:29

Met my husband at 21, engaged exactly a year later and married at 24.

jumbojets · 09/04/2017 11:34

I got married at 33, but I was in a LTR when younger and had my DS at 19 (not my DH's son). I think it's only having children that has a time limit on it due to biology, and ideally it would have been better to be married before having DS. But I'm not having any more children with DH so there was no rush for me either, but financially/legally it was the best thing to do.

IcaMorgan · 09/04/2017 11:34

I'm getting married in July for the first time. It will be a week before my 47th birthday

SecretNetter · 09/04/2017 11:40

Met dh at 17. Had ds1 at 21. Got engaged at 22. Had ds2 at 23. Got married at 27. Now having ds3 at 30.

echt · 09/04/2017 11:41

So OP, how old are you?

zen1 · 09/04/2017 11:43
  1. Had been together 2 years and was pg with first DC.
JoandMax · 09/04/2017 11:46

25 when I got married, we'd been together since I was 19 and had been living together for a few years prior.

We were much earlier with marriage/kids than most of our friends, we've been married 11 years and only started going to others weddings in last couple of years!

swimmerforlife · 09/04/2017 11:46

Met DH at 23, got married at 29 (engaged at 28), already had been living together since I was 25. DS1 came at 31 and DS2 at 33.

Tbh, I was more than ready for marriage as I wanted to be married before I had children.

Jaxhog · 09/04/2017 11:47

I got married at 22, and still happily married. A good friend got married last year at 52. You'll know when you're ready, and it could be any age.

BTW, teenagers think anyone over 30 is OLD.

madamginger · 09/04/2017 11:47

Met DH at 19, bought a house at 22, married at 25 and had babies at 26, 28, and 30.

KingscoteStaff · 09/04/2017 11:49

Met at 27, married at 31, DS at 33 and DD at 35.

All the really great things in my life have happened in 'odd' years!