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AIBU?

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Original poster

To hate this smashcake craze?

588 replies

skerrywind · 09/04/2017 10:35

A close member of our family has just spent £100 on a smashcake for her 1st baby's birthday.
I find it quite disgusting to waste food like this. It surprises me that I have quite a gutteral reaction to this. I also find it disgusting to see people in baths of beans etc.

Anyone else feel like this or am I just a killjoy?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
DonaldStott · 09/04/2017 11:37

Well I've just had to google it and what a pathetic thing it is.

People pay for sessions? Bizarre.

Just make a fucking cake, give it to a baby and take pics on your phone fgs.

Seems like something people with zero imagination would do.

Glossolalia · 09/04/2017 11:43

I spent £800 on my dd cake smash Grin

Did you create your username when you got the invoice?

limitedperiodonly · 09/04/2017 11:46

I cannot see what is wrong with this

sleepydee9 · 09/04/2017 11:46

I don't know anyone who has done this, didn't even realize it was a thing now. Pre kids i saw a family video on youtube that had a bit of a baby doing this (in the US). My first thought was that it was a bit wasteful and too much sugar for a 1 year old. I quickly corrected myself and thought the parents have a relaxed attitude about mess and emphasizing a normal moment for some special photo's. Babies normally get a bit of cake and play with it and get messy, this was just exaggerated a bit and making them special by giving them a whole little cake and letting them really explore it.

Not long after, i had a child and did the same. I baked the cake at home though and it was a healthier version, minimizing the sugar and waste aspect. He has SN and wasn't long on foods and wasn't going to eat a whole cake FFS. Babies explore with mouth and hands so what better activity for their first birthday, it's not like they can play party games or open presents. It was the perfect moment to capture him playing and what better than something as relevant as his birthday cake at his party! My parents thought it was daft but they're very uptight and controlling and so constantly fear anything permissive or 'soft'. I'm not fused if anyone else thinks that's indulgent to let a baby explore and play in their own little cake for their birthday party. I treasure those pictures now because my child's issues meant they never did do messy play and exploring like a typical child.

Does no one else give their toddlers food ingredients to play with for sensory or messy play? it's no more wasteful than that. We used to go to Centre Parcs and they had a whole toddler activity group based on this and toddler activity groups used to do it too. I wouldn't do it regularly because of the waste aspect and it seems unnecessary if a child normally eats with their hands etc but it seems like a double standard.

TheBogQueen · 09/04/2017 11:48

It's trying to create a fake version of something that may have happened spontaneously once in a while.

It's fake. And weird.

But it keeps photographers in a job so you know, whatever Hmm

Original poster
skerrywind · 09/04/2017 11:49

Does no one else give their toddlers food ingredients to play with for sensory or messy play?

Only if it gets eaten.

Making bread is something I often did with my toddlers- even a 1 year old will happily get stuck in- but its gets baked and eaten.
Otherwise no to "sensory play" Hmm with food.

OP posts:
Lweji · 09/04/2017 11:50

How much is £800 after 17 years of compound interest?

Lweji · 09/04/2017 11:51

No messing with food in this household.

DS was a strict food from plate to mouth child, even if it involved holding two bits at the same time with both hands.

Papafran · 09/04/2017 11:55

Ha, they are so naff. As for the person who saved up for a whole year- you can pat yourself on the back, because you are officially an idiot. Fair enough if you are stinking rich and just fancy being tacky and disrespectful, but to save money is beyond nuts. And in 10 years time, the whole concept will be even more tacky than now, so it won't even be anything you can proudly show off- people will just be wtf?

Frazzledmum123 · 09/04/2017 11:55

Sleepfree- I try, I really do, I only have a 3 bed house so there really isn't the room for the boxes of clothes I can't bring myself to get rid of yet despite the fact my daughter probably won't want a wardrobe full of tractor tops (my first is a ds). I actually drive my husband nuts with the crap I keep! Not cords though, again a whole other thread Confused

I don't keep them for the kids though, they are my treasures Grin

The pics I agree to be honest that the natural ones are better, the ones with actual memories but like I said, I am obsessed with pictures so I'd probably have both! We spent £300 on professional pics of my son as a newborn and they are definitely not my favourite, didn't bother with the other two but do kind of wish I'd had some professional ones taken of the middle child at some point, bet she notices when older! I will pay again to get some outdoor ones done of the 3 of them when baby is toddling

Sherrywind - yes it could but have you donated that over maybe having a holiday this year or last? If not then you really have no right to judge how others spend their money imo

Ultimately, and I'm sure I will get shouted at for this but life I see for living. It's horrendous how some people have it I agree and I donate to 2 charities close to my heart because of this but I have been lucky enough to be born, not with a silver spoon but privileged in that we get by fine. I think it is a shame to not make the most of my life by doing what makes me happy as long as it isn't at the expense of others and as I said, me pigging out on cake will not make others suffer.

Unless you donate all your spare money and never treat yourself to any non essential, any luxury at all then if someone wants to pay £1k on a photo shoot then fine. I spend on photos what others spend on sky or expensive phones or holidays or eating out. None of which we do/have

Frazzledmum123 · 09/04/2017 11:56

Do get the point about putting the money in their account though, that's a nice idea x

limitedperiodonly · 09/04/2017 11:57

Making bread is something I often did with my toddlers- even a 1 year old will happily get stuck in- but its gets baked and eaten.

Really? I'd never want to eat dough that toddlers have got stuck in with. It's the colour of bogies. I just gave them the offcuts and then baked it along with my good stuff and discreetly threw theirs away.

Frazzledmum123 · 09/04/2017 11:57

Not that I personally have £1k to spend on a shoot mind!

LaurieMarlow · 09/04/2017 11:59

I don't have a problem with it. It's no different, in my eyes to cakes eaten at birthday parties.

Both are 'wasteful' in their own way. We never need the calories we eat in cake. There's virtually no nutrition. We eat it because we enjoy it. A cake smash offers a different kind of enjoyment. The child in playing/discovering food, the parents in creating a ritual around their birthday.

I waste is very problematic for you, then I'd suggest BLW creates signicantly more than the odd cake smash.

Frazzledmum123 · 09/04/2017 11:59

Oh and sleepfree - have to admit to loving a nice headband for a special occasion though Grin

Megatherium · 09/04/2017 12:00

I just cannot see what is cute about a picture of a child with cake all over them. I just look at those photos and think about all the work cleaning the child up.

roarityroar · 09/04/2017 12:02

I don't really care about the waste but it's incredibly tacky

Frazzledmum123 · 09/04/2017 12:04

I'd also be interested in knowing how many of the appalled at the waste people had a posh wedding cake???

Anyway it's a lovely sunny day so I'm off to enjoy!

CinderellaRockefeller · 09/04/2017 12:04

So what if the kid doesn't care. Surely it's the parents that want the photos.

And hand wringing and saying....but that could feed a village. Yes it could. Lots of things that every single one of us waste money on as non essentials from theatre tickets to make up to getting your hair cut could be money better spent to help people in poverty. You can't arbitrarily draw the line on what money other people should be donating instead of spending on themselves.

beargrass · 09/04/2017 12:06

Money aside, I really dislike this. It seems to be a trend among my group. I was bemused and mildly horrified tbh.

What is it I don't like..? The setting up of DC as some kind of amusing toy, the OTT nature of it, the fact anything with the word 'baby' in front of it seems to be licence to print money. Just all of it. It's not nice.

Also seems to be accompanied by an extreme approach to 1st birthday parties. With LOTS of people and LOTS of presents. What happens the year after? And the year after that? Ever more pressure to outdo last year? Do the same/bolder for siblings?

Whatever happened to a family tea and not-amazing-but-made-last-night-with-love cake? It's not for us.

Foureyesarebetterthantwo · 09/04/2017 12:08

I know smashcake is a 'thing' but it reminds me of those babies or toddlers whose parents don't clean their faces after food, and then usually let it mingle with a nice snotty nose. I just hate dirty faces! Although the last time it was discussed on here, everyone tried to convince me that using a flannel on a reluctant toddler was an imposition on their bodily boundaries and bordering on abuse...

Teabagtits · 09/04/2017 12:08

sleepfreezone - crusty biblical cord
You have just officially renamed it.

TinfoilHattie · 09/04/2017 12:16

It is AWFUL and I agree wholeheartedly with the OP. It's unnecessary and a wicked waste of good food. Hideous trend.

We have some lovely pictures of kids with cake all over their faces on their first birthdays, because they naturally make a mess anyway! No need for a special cake.

FrancisCrawford · 09/04/2017 12:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mistermagpie · 09/04/2017 12:16

I can't get worked up about the waste of good tbh, most families waste way more food than that in a normal month. I do think they are naff though, mainly because it's a bit fake - the photos aren't (to my knowledge) taken at the child's actual birthday party or using their actual cake, it's a sort of simulation isn't it? I hate mess too and so I don't find pictures of kids covered in food particularly appealing.

That said, I did newborn photo shoots with both my children and loads of people think they are awful too. They were around £100 but I love the photos (no costumes or props, just the baby) and would never have got such nice ones on my phone. Each to their own really, it's not hurting anyone else and if people want to waste their own money (and food) then I don't see why anyone else should care.