AIBU expecting long-term cohabiting boyfriend to pay rent when we argued and he stayed with family for a week?

[ShellyT17]

My boyfriend and I have been co-habiting in rented accommodation for two years. The tenancy is in my name as he moved in with me. He earns two and a half times my salary. I work full time and am in my final year of a part-time degree. My son earns slightly more than I do but spends £200 a month on commuting.

1. We argued and my boyfiend stayed at his sisters for a week and is now saying he shouldn't have to contribute for the week he wasn't here (£100).

2. He pays approximately 35% of the rent and bills, my son pays approximately 25% and I pay 40%. Is this fair or should it be proportionate? Our flat is rented in my name. My boyfriend owns his own apartment which he rents out. He has a good disposable income and always pays if we go out, which is probably two or three times a month.

AIBU thinking he should pay for the week he wasn't here?

And what are people's thoughts on the financial arrangements when cohabiting?

Thanks all!

Sling the fucker out.

what this amounts to is a £100 fine imposed on you by him

it's your penalty for arguing with him

LTB

YABU. The tenancy is in your name alone, so you alone are responsible for the rent. Any contribution other people make is their choice.

Oh fuck off rainbow.

As if we would be telling a woman to live rent free with her partner.

OP your DP is taking the piss. Out of interest has he been married before? Or had a long term relationship in which he lived with someone for a long time?

The tenancy is in your name alone, so you alone are responsible for the rent
that is true but it's not the whole story is it

These 2 are in a relationship and have agreed to share a home and share the costs of so doing.
Presumably he still wants to be in the relationship and to consider the place his home?
In which case he should stick to the agreement about financing their shared home.
Or perhaps he thinks it's a hotel where he can just check out if he wants to?

Yes, he should pay for that week. However, I don't agree with posters who are saying that he should pay half of the rent - there are three adults living there, so the costs should be split between three. If the OP then wants to subsidise her son, that's up to her. Why should the OP's boyfriend have to subsidise her adult son?

I see my ex has finally got a new girlfriend....
I'm sure it's the same person!
He went away for a week to a wedding in another country and wanted a refund on his contribution to the bills/rent when he came back.
I said no so he threw a strop and slammed the door on his way out.

When I went away for a week a couple of months later he presented me with all the food bills for the week (which I had not done when he had his week away, paying for my food myself). He wanted these added to the monthly spreadsheet (which he had insisted on) so that the food costs for the month could be divided equally.... ie. I should pay for half of the food he had eaten in the week away.
He hadn't held back on what he had spent in the week either - he had chosen the most expensive cheeses, ice-cream, raspberries, chocolate and all kinds of things. The bill for the week was outrageous - around 150 pounds!
I had probably spent more than that during my week away as I had been eating out all the time with friends.
I suggested that we add my food bills for the week to the spreadsheet as well as his and we could then divide it equally.
He wasn't having that.

Shortly after that he got his marching orders and moved in with some friends in another country for 6 months, scrounging off them and not paying a penny in rent or food contributions. I presume they got sick of him after a while as the next I heard he was living somewhere else and had got a job.

Get rid OP. These cocklodgers never change.

Tell him he's not coming back.

You won't get the money, but it'll be worth it.

I genuinely didn't know wankers like this existed before I joined mumsnet. What are uou his landlord? Honestly, I'd tell that where to stick his hundred quid and to just keep on staying with his sister.

Result: after some reflection, he appears to have seen sense! After I was admitted to hospital, we arrived home, talked and went through the figures. I think he's realised what a knob he's been and, as he earns two and a half times what my son and I earn, he is happy to pay 50% towards all household bills and my son and I pay the other 50% between us.

So his little spat almost seems worthwhile now! I am not resting on my laurels though. I feel I have taken a bit of a battering physically (in that it landed me in hospital with chest pains and exacerbated my medical condition) and emotionally. There is still work to be done but we're getting there.

Thank you all for your input. It really helped me stick to my guns and not waver.

Gosh-glad you're ok.

He has also agreed to pay the £100, yes? I'm glad you got some strength from your thread.

Is he serious? Does he think your house is a hotel, where he only pays when he's there?

He should be paying 33% of costs (not just rent), whether he's there or not. Or you should should charge him per night at a hotel rate.

Oops, cross post. Glad he's seen the light.

get him on the tenancy then is responsible for paying the rent too