AIBU expecting long-term cohabiting boyfriend to pay rent when we argued and he stayed with family for a week?

[ShellyT17]

My boyfriend and I have been co-habiting in rented accommodation for two years. The tenancy is in my name as he moved in with me. He earns two and a half times my salary. I work full time and am in my final year of a part-time degree. My son earns slightly more than I do but spends £200 a month on commuting.

1. We argued and my boyfiend stayed at his sisters for a week and is now saying he shouldn't have to contribute for the week he wasn't here (£100).

2. He pays approximately 35% of the rent and bills, my son pays approximately 25% and I pay 40%. Is this fair or should it be proportionate? Our flat is rented in my name. My boyfriend owns his own apartment which he rents out. He has a good disposable income and always pays if we go out, which is probably two or three times a month.

AIBU thinking he should pay for the week he wasn't here?

And what are people's thoughts on the financial arrangements when cohabiting?

Thanks all!

My god. What a tosser.

For me, this would be my chance to tell him to do one. It's not a partnership. He can find some other 'landlord' that will knock £100 off every time he has a paddy and pisses off to his sisters/mates/wherever for the week. Oh wait. Oh they don't exist.

Honey. You can do better than this, no matter what e has you believing.

He's got some nerve hasnt he.

Or he's an idiot.

It sounds like your flat is subsidising his income?

He's able to rent out his flat because he's sharing yours. Presumably he makes a profit on that?

He also earns more than you but the income doesn't seem to go into the household? If you're lucky you get the odd treat of a takeaway.

And he's obviously focused on his money/your money as he's quibbling about a week. Leaving you to cover the costs.

What do you get out of the deal? He must have a sparkling personality.

I said to him that if his friends had an argument and had a week apart, would he expect his friend to only pay three quarters of the mortgage that month.

His response: "That's different. They're married."

This made me feel particularly shitty.

You aren't a hotel where you pay per stay does this relationship even have a future in his head?

Thank you all for your advice and support. I must stop doubting myself, be strong, deal with this and move forward.

Is he sure he wants you to rent out his side of your bed whenever he is away?

He's using you while he makes money from renting out his flat! Of course he should contribute while he's not there! And, more equally all the time.
What was the understanding when he moved into your flat? Is his understanding that the £100 is towards food and bills only?

Where is your relationship going? I think if I were you, I'd want to have a deep meaningful conversation with him about how he sees the future of it...

Does he contribute to the bills as well?

He needs a good hard look in the mirror, ooh and a reality check!

In no uncertain terms he's paying for that week, you don't say to the landlord, oh we're off on holiday, so won't be paying you for two weeks.

Also consider a discussion about money and how the contribution should definitely be equal, if not ideally indexed to his salary.

Good luck

Did he really go to stay at his sister's because you argued???

I'm guessing he thinks he can walk all over you because of the argument. It's pretty pathetic of him. What's the initial of his first name

He sounds like an arsehole. I think I'd rather pay more bills and kick him out permanently.

Say Goodbye!

"Bye bye, tightarse" is all you need to say.

If you had to leave home for a family emergency or holiday would you think it's ok not not pay your rent for a week? Of course not!

He I living there so wether he chooses to sleep there is besides the point,

As for the rest of your post He should be paying at least the same as you as your both sharing the space!

Dp and I don't share finances, but we split bills so we're roughly paying the same as each other but he earns more so as well as that he also pays for our takeaway or lunch/dinners out too (not all the time but more than me)

I'm sorry because I don't want to influence you you but if I was the person in your op I would tell him to stay at his sisters and end the relationship. My view is your either an equal partnership or your not and I wouldn't be with someone who I was not in an equal partnership with!

We argued and my boyfiend stayed at his sisters for a week

Did he flounce or did you throw him out?

He's a cocklodger.

HTH.

Just remembered, when I started talking about his contribution, he mentioned that he only had one wardrobe. Give me strength

He says it shouldn't matter how much he earns and I am not sure how I feel about this

You should feel angry, because it is utter nonsense.

In a world where your whole life depends on how much money you earn, of course it matters!

And if it "shouldn't matter", then why isn't he paying 50 percent of the rent? Wouldn't that be normal, if everyone is treated the same regardless of income?

He's talking utter bullshit. Call it "storage fees" for keeping his stuff in your flat, and if he doesn't pay, put his things in front of the door for him to fetch.

Do NOT take him back.

You did well in not giving up your own space, that makes getting rid of him so much easier! (And perhaps I am being paranoid on your behalf, but his comments about the friends look like he's trying to manipulate you into marriage)

This is one of those 'What do you get out of this relationship?' threads.

Apparently, not a lot.

What a nob he is.

Ask him if his tenants still pay rent if they're on holiday.

He sounds very immature

he's a cocklodger

give him a bill for storage of his stuff

I think 35% is more than enough considering it's all in your name. If this were a male, the female would be told not to pay anything unless her name was on the lease.

Of course he should pay if away.