Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DD college and her wheelchair

54 replies

Jetcatblackcat · 07/04/2017 21:33

DD (20) attends college and has one to one support due to a variety of needs. Although she doesn't have a physical disability, she does have a wheelchair which she tends to use if she has a busy day with lots of walking etc as the side effects from her meds means that she tires very easily, which then creates more issues. So it's a purely preventive thing, not a 24/7 thing.

I have just found out that the college are 'lending' DD's wheelchair to a fellow student who has broke his leg and who doesn't like using his crutches. My concerns are a/ if the wheelchair gets broke while someone else is using it I'm not sure where we'd stand re getting it repaired, and b/ DD has communication difficulties and it would be very difficult for her to ask for it back - even if she needed it.

AIBU to contact the college to ask that it's not freely given out, or would I be being an unsympathetic bitch to the poor lad who has a broken leg?

OP posts:
TyneTeas · 07/04/2017 21:35

YANBU

Other student needs to make own arrangements if they want a wheelchair eg www.redcross.org.uk/What-we-do/Health-and-social-care/Independent-living/Mobility-aids

WorraLiberty · 07/04/2017 21:37

No I think you'd be within your rights completely.

I'm all for lending things to people without so much as a thought, but as you say, what if she needs it or what if it gets broken/misplaced?

Perhaps you could suggest somewhere for the boy/college to hire another wheelchair?

bigbluebus · 07/04/2017 21:39

I assume that you have either bought this wheelchair yourself for use by your DD or it has been 'loaned' to her by the NHS specifically for her use. Either way, the college are being unreasonable using it for someone else without your permission as you are responsible for it.

I would contact the college and ask that it is not used in this way. If the other student wants a wheelchair whilst they have a broken leg they can usually borrow one from the Red Cross free of charge (or for a small donation).

minisoksmakehardwork · 07/04/2017 21:42

As the wheelchair is presumably dad's own, rather than a pool one like you get at gp surgeries/supermarkets etc, the college are being very unreasonable to lend it to anyone else. They would be liable for any damage or its loss. They would also be putting your daughter in a predicament whereby she might need her wheelchair and it is unavailable for her use. What would their stance be if she then had to miss classes due to their misuse of her property?

Either way, yanbu to take a very firm line with the college about this.

Original poster
Jetcatblackcat · 07/04/2017 21:43

Thanks all, bigbluebus it's from the NHS, hence my worry about it getting broke and then refusing to fix it if the find out DD wasn't using it.

I guess I'll email the college once I find the courage

OP posts:
Original poster
Jetcatblackcat · 07/04/2017 21:45

mini I'm pretty much going to copy your post in my email if that's ok? Smile

OP posts:
IcaMorgan · 07/04/2017 21:49

Ask them if they would just lend someone someone else's laptop? If not why do they think they can lend her wheelchair

planbatman · 07/04/2017 21:50

I'd be concerned that if it was obtained through the NHS then presumably it is tailored to DD? I know mine had to be ordered and adjusted by the OT, so if it is damaged how long would she be without it?

rumblingDMexploitingbstds · 07/04/2017 22:01

You wouldn't appropriate another student's crutches or hearing aids or glasses or any other aids to be shared with another student. Really not ok, and you're really not being unreasonable. It sounds a bit like the staff involved are seeing the chair as a group resource instead of a part of dd's mobility.

minisoksmakehardwork · 07/04/2017 22:43

Feel free jet.

Soozikinzi · 07/04/2017 22:49

I work in a special needs school so have taught many wheelchair users .we are trained not to even hook a bag over a wheelchair because the wheelchair is part of the personal space of the wheelchair user . Certainly never to lend any equipment including walkers wheelchairs etc without the users express permission xx

ZackyVengeance · 07/04/2017 23:05

omg that is awful OP. contact the college and get taht stopped.
it is her legs when needed.

ijustwannadance · 07/04/2017 23:10

Cheeky beggars. Tell them to give it back asap.

Ameliablue · 07/04/2017 23:13

That sounds inappropriate.

Mehfruittea · 07/04/2017 23:26

I'm assuming you leave the wheelchair at college each day? Rather than transport it in from home? And so it is stored overnight on their premises.

The chances are whoever has offered your DDs wheelchair for use doesn't know that it belongs to her. They probably think she is just the only one who uses 'their' wheelchair. Especially as her disability is invisible and she can look fine on some days.

I would aproach from this angle, did you know it belongs to DD? Etc.

Piehunter · 07/04/2017 23:32

Terms and conditions from wheelchair services state that the chair is for the use only of the person it has been prescribed for. It is PRESCRIBED by a medical professional for her, not the use of someone with a broken bone. This is absolutely unacceptable and you need to make it clear that this is not to be happening. I can't believe anyone thought this was OK at her college!!

Viviennemary · 07/04/2017 23:33

I agree that this is just simply not on. Quite possibly there is a misunderstanding and the college needs to be put right that the wheelchair isn't for communal use.

Megatherium · 07/04/2017 23:37

I would have thought the college shouldn't be enabling the other student not to use his crutches anyway - they should be encouraging him to be as mobile as possible. If he doesn't like them, maybe he should get the fitting checked or see if there's an alternative he can use.

Becca19962014 · 07/04/2017 23:41

If it's been provided it's likely especially adjusted (presribed if you prefer) and that could cause harm to anyone else using it. Don't take that to mean I agree it's ok for anyone to use anyone else's wheelchair but that's the best way to approach it with them.

Until I got disabled I had no idea how different the same item of equipment could be for each individual person (e.g. Wheelchair/walking stick) and it just doesnt work to use someone else's. I had an OT and physio explain it to me, it's not as simple as getting any wheelchair and using it.

They could well take it away if it's being shared as well as it could be viewed that she doesn't need it - unlikely but a possibility.

I'm sorry if I've repeated what anyone else has said.

Becca19962014 · 07/04/2017 23:43

Forgot, if he has crutches he will be expected to be using them, part of day to day physio otherwise he could be making recovery more difficult. I know they're not the easiest of things and take time to get used to and again need to be properly adjusted to him.

EweAreHere · 08/04/2017 00:01

That sounds bang out of order.

I would make it clear that the college was completely in the wrong to offer your DD's wheelchair to someone else to use. It's not theirs to lend.

I'm actually shocked that they've done this!

TheHatOfDoom · 08/04/2017 00:03

I was going to say the same as @piehunter. Whenever wheelchair services have given me a new chair (am a lifelong wheelie) the terms of loan expressly state it's for my use only.

elliejjtiny · 08/04/2017 00:09

YANBU at all. My DS2 has similar issues and is a sometimes wheelchair user. If I found out his wheelchair was being borrowed by someone else like that I'd go ape shit.

Also as previous posters have said, a prescribed wheelchair will be adjusted to fit the user. 2 of my ds's have wheelchairs and they look very different. DS2 is tall and skinny, DS4 is short and chubby. DS2 sat in DS4's chair once and his knees were up by his head!

Original poster
Jetcatblackcat · 08/04/2017 04:55

Thanks all for your reassurance that I'm not being unreasonable!

Meh yes the chair comes home with DD, otherwise we wouldn't be able to use it when she's not at college.

OP posts:
Whereismumhiding2 · 08/04/2017 22:47

Hi Jetblackcat

Yanbu

Seriously email & ring headteacher to pack it in right now. What they are doing is outrageous and totally unacceptable.
I don't identify usually, but I'm an adult Phys DIS Social worker (SW).
If it gives you any perspective, if you rang your original post into local adult (social) services, it would be treated as a statutory Safeguarding section 42 enquiry under The Care Act 2014.

I want to say more, but won't in this forum, but it is damn well not ok.

Feel free to DM me. I am fuming & exasperated your DD is being treated as second class citizen.