Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

DD college and her wheelchair

54 replies

Jetcatblackcat · 07/04/2017 21:33

DD (20) attends college and has one to one support due to a variety of needs. Although she doesn't have a physical disability, she does have a wheelchair which she tends to use if she has a busy day with lots of walking etc as the side effects from her meds means that she tires very easily, which then creates more issues. So it's a purely preventive thing, not a 24/7 thing.

I have just found out that the college are 'lending' DD's wheelchair to a fellow student who has broke his leg and who doesn't like using his crutches. My concerns are a/ if the wheelchair gets broke while someone else is using it I'm not sure where we'd stand re getting it repaired, and b/ DD has communication difficulties and it would be very difficult for her to ask for it back - even if she needed it.

AIBU to contact the college to ask that it's not freely given out, or would I be being an unsympathetic bitch to the poor lad who has a broken leg?

OP posts:

lucyandpoppy123 · 08/04/2017 23:14

That is out of order, you wouldn't take someone else's glasses off their head if another student needed them. Don't be shy in being firm! But I think probably all you'd need to do is say 'can you stop allowing other students to use DD's wheelchair as it is has been loaned to us for her use only' they will probably be mortified when you pull them up on it

peukpokicuzo · 08/04/2017 23:21

If the lad with the broken leg needs a wheel chair he can seek assistance from the red cross who tend to have such things available to borrow when needed. He does not take the mobility aid of someone else who needs it.

Whereismumhiding2 · 08/04/2017 23:24

So, just trying to explain. Statutory Safeguarding enquiry s.42 enquiry... Is in layman's terms an 'adult abuse investigation' that local authority has lead on. If your DD sustains any injuries as a result of college giving her wheelchair (without express permission, talk to me on DM bout that) then it becomes a criminal (police) investigation. But it is ours ASD before then and we don't take kindly to oppressive poor practice. The head teacher will need to write a s.42 enquiry report .

Teabagtits · 08/04/2017 23:29

Yanbu - how the hell can a college justify taking one students private and personal wheelchair and giving it to another? What an odd scenario and totally inappropriate

kali110 · 08/04/2017 23:44

Wtf??? No ofcourse yanbu! How can they think this is ok?

Mehfruittea · 09/04/2017 02:01

If the chair is coming home each day then there is absolutely no reason why they could think it is not hers and basically available to loan.

Some people have a wheelchair kept at their place of work for use specifically at work, which is why I was thinking along those lines. But this is clearly your DDs and so not on at all.

I can't see how the college will even try and argue this one. Whoever you speak to will. E embarrassed and appalled she was put in this position.

MiscellaneousAssortment · 09/04/2017 02:20

Shocking. I'm a mobility scooter user and it is very much an extension of my body / personal space. It's gob-smackingly shocking that anyone has decided to run roughshod over this.

Huge stink to be raised (if you can bear it).

This is exactly why disability is so, well, disabling. It's the other people around you that make your life so fucking hard.

Supermagicsmile · 09/04/2017 04:22

I am so shocked they would do this, it's dreadful! Email and complain.

peukpokicuzo · 09/04/2017 06:45

Has this misunderstanding has been contributed to by the wheelchair standing somewhere visibly unused on occasions when your DD has a good day feels well enough to walk around college? If so, then perhaps a bicycle lock to immobilise it would be a good idea?

Also is there anything your DD can do to personalise the chair e.g. with a witty bumper sticker?

Not that these suggestions should in any way be taken to imply that it was reasonable for anyone to assume that the chair is a communal resource. Obviously the whole thing is unreasonable but these are ways that your DD may be able to assert her exclusive rights to her own mobility aid without having to communicate directly in ways that are particularly challenging due to her communication difficulties.

Trifleorbust · 09/04/2017 07:12

Are they asking her or just giving it to someone else?

Casschops · 09/04/2017 07:25

I worked for our local wheelchair services as assessing therapist. The wheelchair will have been specifically assessed for your DD, you agree to use the wheelchair for your DD only and you remain responsible should the wheelchair become damaged due or lost (other than normal wear and tear). I would contact the service that issued your daughter's wheelchair and tell them what is happening, they should speak to the school but I would speak to her school myself too as the other student needs to make their own arrangements.

Vanmenace · 09/04/2017 07:29

This is not OK.

Do you want us to proof read an email for you OP?

CountessYgritte · 09/04/2017 08:14

Stop needing to find courage and just do it! This is a massive piss take! Where the fuck is her dignity. Lending her mobility aid to someone who can't be bothered to use crutches.

I am outraged for both of you. It would be lovely if our kids had the choice whether to use their support or not
for bit of you

CountessYgritte · 09/04/2017 08:16

Both

Not bit.

Original poster

Jetcatblackcat · 09/04/2017 19:29

Thanks again to all. In respect to finding courage, I am a very anxious person so this is a very big deal to me.

In terms of an email, I'm struggling to even draft one as I'm already massively anxious

OP posts:

Karmin · 09/04/2017 19:38

Dear (Head)

It has come to my attention that my Daughter (NAMES) personal wheelchair is being used by another young person who has broken his leg.

Whilst my daughter does not need to use the wheelchair at all times it must not be treated as a general resource. The wheelchair has been prescribed and adjusted especially for my daughter.

Also due to my daughters additional needs she would find it very difficult to be able to ask for the return herself.

My daughters wheelchair is her private personal property and is no longer to be used by anyone else without my express permission.

I look forward to your response on this matter

Kind regards

RaptorInaPorkPieHat · 09/04/2017 19:44

Off the top of my head, I'd email something like:

Dear (whoever),

Re: DD Name - Wheelchair

It has come to our attention that DD's wheelchair has been loaned out to another student without her permission. As I am sure you are aware this is her personal property and is needed to be available to her onsite as and when she needs it.

We are not only concerned that this is leaving DD without vital equipment but also that this equipment might be damaged whilst being used her permission.

If the other student requires a wheelchair, may we suggest contacting the Red Cross in order to arrange a short term loan.

Regards,

JetCatBlackCat and DD

You just need to be short and to the point

RaptorInaPorkPieHat · 09/04/2017 19:45

Oops missed *without her permission

didn't double check it

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 09/04/2017 19:54

Good for you advocating for your DD.

Original poster

Jetcatblackcat · 09/04/2017 20:18

That's perfect thank you. Typical that the college are on a break now, but I'll email it ready for their return. Don't get me wrong, the staff at the college have been amazing with DD, supported her above and beyond from when she started there over three years ago. It was a very difficult time for everyone as DD's health had nose dived and she was left transferring on to level 1 basic skills education instead of the A level course she had enrolled in. But, with DD's determination and the will and support of certain members of staff, she is just finishing her level 3 and about to start her Foundation Degree in September (same department, same college) so I don't want to risk upsetting or offending the staff, but equally I don't feel like I should just let it slide.

Oh, and DD does give permission but she would feel unable to say no, let alone ask for it back.

OP posts:

blankmind · 09/04/2017 20:45

Oh, and DD does give permission but she would feel unable to say no, let alone ask for it back

Glad you're going to get it sorted OP.

May be worthwhile to also let your daughter and her TA know she can't lend it to anyone else because it's specially adapted for her.

RaptorInaPorkPieHat · 09/04/2017 20:46

You're absolutely right to be a proud mum

I totally get what you mean about not upsetting the staff, they probably just saw it as a convenient solution at the time without really thinking about how it impacts on your DD. It just needs to be nipped in the bud so they don't see it as a long term solution (for when they next need a handy wheelchair ).

Inertia · 09/04/2017 20:53

Glad you are going to contact the college-as others have said, this is categorically not acceptable.

peukpokicuzo · 09/04/2017 21:03

Oh, and DD does give permission but she would feel unable to say no, let alone ask for it back

In that case the email to the college needs to be clear on this point.

Karmin's letter above is great but perhaps a slight edit to

Also due to my daughters additional needs she finds it very difficult to decline a direct request or be able to ask for the return of the chair even if she knows that she needs to use it herself. This leaves her particularly vulnerable in this situation and makes it a safeguarding issue wherein you need to protect her.

Megatherium · 09/04/2017 22:08

You could also point out that legally your DD isn't allowed to give permission for anyone else to use the wheelchair, so it makes no difference whether she does or not.

Flip

1 2 3