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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I should be able to go for a run without being sexually harassed or cat called at by pervy men?

61 replies

Runny · 07/04/2017 15:44

Today I decided to go outside for a run for the first time since about September. Over the winter months Ive been using the treadmill in the gym, but now the weather has started to improve again I was really looking foreward to getting out there again.

I'd been out for about 15 minutes and was she just making my way back home when some twat on a motorbike (with L plates no less, so probably young) comes speeding past me, making hand gestures and shouting obsceneties at me that I couldn't really make out exactly what they were. It had to be aimed at me as I was the only person around. I should add, I was wearing an over sized tatty T-shirt and tatty old running trousers so hardly flashing the flesh (not that it should matter, obviously), but this idiot still thought it was acceptable to hurl sexist abuse at me.

Being in the gym all these months I'd forgotten about this. It's one of the pit falls of being a woman out running. This is not the first time it's happened, Ive had men of all ages slow down their cars and leer at me, shout abuse, laugh etc. God knows how they'd feel if someone did the same to treir wife/mother/daughter/sister.

Honestly what gives them the right to behave like this? It make sure me want to just go back into the gym and stay there.

OP posts:
kittykarate · 07/04/2017 16:41

No, it really is very parochial and insular here. I do wonder if it my experince would be different in somehwere more cosmopolitan?

All of my experiences were in South Manchester, so fairly cosmopolitan.

CakesAreBiscuitsToo · 07/04/2017 16:44

I don't know if "cosmopolitan" makes a difference but I would imagine that population density would make some difference? we usually run in busy areas with other people about, only the odd isolated distance.

I wonder if men are less likely to call out when there are a lot of people around and more likely to call out when a woman is on her own or in a less busy area? Catcalling is harassment, it is predatory and as such requires some level of dominance / power by the man doing the calling.

CakesAreBiscuitsToo · 07/04/2017 16:47

Fucking hell kittykarate that's awful! Do you have your phone handy? I'd whip out my phone and start videoing - people perceive it as a kind of weapon these days, don't they? If they are behaving like assholes (and throwing things at you is assault!) then videoing might stop it or at least give you some measure of control? How awful for you. What absolute wankers.

2410ang · 07/04/2017 16:49

Earbuds in and ignore.

Failing which a mighty loud "fuck off" works a treat.

Or for those particular persistent whipping your phone out and starting to film them causes all sorts of panic 😁

r0tringLover · 07/04/2017 16:50

How was it sexist abuse or obscenities if you couldn't make out what they were saying? Just a hunch?

iMatter · 07/04/2017 17:21

I was running along a pavement by a main road a couple of years ago and this bellend slowed down to my pace, opened the window and shouted something obscene so I turned towards him and spat in his car. He told me I was "fucking disgusting" as he sped off. Probably not my brightest move but very satisfying.

ThisIsNotARealAvo · 07/04/2017 17:34

I've not had it much running but I usually go somewhere where there are tons of runners so that helps. But I get it loads when cycling, men (often in twos or threes in vans) like to shout out hilarious comments about 'riding'. They are just massive bellends and I normally tell them to fuck off, and get called a fat cow or a lesbian.

Willyoujustbequiet · 07/04/2017 17:38

Yanbu

The MRAs may be along shortly to claim you are discriminating against their free speech Hmm

Didyoumeantobesorude1 · 07/04/2017 17:42

So tempting to carry summat like a bag of mud and sling it at their (hopefully open) window.

Allthebestnamesareused · 07/04/2017 17:42

Were you on a path or running in the road? Just wondered.

Seems odd to hand shake and shout obscenities. Sounds more like you were obstructing him than attracting him!

FlyAwayPeter · 07/04/2017 17:50

Honestly what gives them the right to behave like this? It make sure me want to just go back into the gym and stay there

YANBU, of course you're not.

But if you look at about 50% of the responses on this thread Girls told to wear longer skirts at school

you'll see why. A lot of people bringing up children seem to think that "Oh well, boys will be boys. They can't help it. If they see a girl's legs they're just going to stare." These are the attitudes which mean that the scumbags who catcall and sexually harass women on the street think it's OK.

Well, I mean, gosh, you're showing your legs. What do you expect?

It's foul & awful. and why I run on the treadmill in the gym, or early in the morning.

SummerHouse · 07/04/2017 17:50

My best heckles (shouted at me that is).. "Soggy tits" and "keep walking love" whilst I was "running" up a steep hill.

I like to think they are jealous.

They are slugs and I am a bird.

KinkyAfro · 07/04/2017 17:50

Again, some lovely victim blaming going here again

CakesAreBiscuitsToo · 07/04/2017 17:52

KinkyAfro
Where?

NeonGod73 · 07/04/2017 17:54

Are you complaining or boasting?

SummerHouse · 07/04/2017 17:56

I will wear what I want and run where I please. In no way am I something that could be considered sexy but the horn beeping and shouting comes all the same. I think it is just (generalisation) men putting people down and belittling them. Well they can eat my dust.

willothewisp17 · 07/04/2017 17:56

for a moment there I really thought that this post said 'sexually harassed by a cat' 🙈 a cat would be much preferable! xx

CakesAreBiscuitsToo · 07/04/2017 17:56

Boasting about being sexually harassed?

SummerHouse · 07/04/2017 17:57

Unless they are in a car. In which case they can watch me in the rear view mirror.

fluffiphlox · 07/04/2017 17:57

I very rarely get this now but when I did I found a swifT 'fuck off!' Did the trick. One man I called out on his 'you should be going faster' comment has only just started walking his dog again. (I'm exaggerating for comic effect of course but they don't expect a come back). For the lads blocking the path I just say 'excuse me boys' and the waters part. I'm pushing 60 and don't care mind.

KinkyAfro · 07/04/2017 17:58

allthebestnames is one if them cakes and a twattish post there from neongod

CakesAreBiscuitsToo · 07/04/2017 17:59

Yes, I see now kinky

Runny · 07/04/2017 18:01

I was running on the pavement. Why on earth would I be running in the middle of the road?

OP posts:
gluteustothemaximus · 07/04/2017 18:02

YANBU.

Stops me going out really. Wolf whistling, 'smile love' 'wahaay' out the window. Started age 12. Never stopped.

Happens on own, with kids, even pregnant 'wahaay, nice tits!'

Fucking hate it. Not a compliment.

FlyAwayPeter · 07/04/2017 18:02

Are you complaining or boasting?

Reading is your friend. It stops you from looking stupid on the internet.

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