for feeling rather offended by this comment?

[DaisyMOO]

I was chatting with a group of people, including a stay at home dad I know, about childbirth etc. I commented that I'd given birth to a 10lb 13oz baby without a tear and this dad said that I "should have asked to have a stitch put in to tighten it up for my husband's benefit"

Glad I'm not the only one who thinks he stepped over the line a bit!

I do actually know him fairly well and I suspect he thinks it was a joke - ho ho To be honest, there are a couple of female friends who I wouldn't have been upset by if they'd made this comment, I think it was the fact that it was a man, who I don't really have that kind of jokey relationship with.

I did consider punching him, but I could see the headlines - "Man assaulted at children's music group - Woman Charged - "He insulted my fanjo"

twaT

Yuk! Nasty nasty comment.

Mind you a female friend of mine told me is shocked whispers not to tell everyone that I had a 10lber and no stitches because people will think I'm 'big down there'.....I don't think she was entirely joking either. Weird.

Think some men have a weird sense of humour, remember a friend of my brothers whose wife had given birth to twins naturally saying he would need to strap a plank to his backside, during sex to stop himself falling in! Charming species arnt they.Needless to say i didnt laugh!

Well according to my friend who was there at the time, it was really funny and I shouldn't take it so seriously Maybe, but I'm surprised by how upset I feel by it actually, and humiliated too.

Bleurgh.
I'm pretty tolerant of that kind of thing, but put it this way, I wouldn't feel particularly comfortable in that man's company after that.

I would be upset too, especially as a man made the comment - mine were both over 9lb and I used to get - 'ooh but your so tiny! any stitches? No, oh'
I could hear them thinking 'bucket crutch...'

of course you feel upset and humiliated... weird and creepy he felt compelled to talk about your bits...

your charming lovely friend - does she have some secret agenda that she is so pleased to hear someone else insulting you?

Ugh, how unbelievably rude! I'd have felt humiliated and embarrassed too, and that's one reason why it's always so hard to come up with a put-down on the spot - though the ones here are great. Or how about, "No, his 10lb whanger should just about fit now"?

I've had comments like this as well after DD2 "the plank attached to DH's arse" was the "best" one.

I do think it's bad taste to make comments on the size of women's vagina's though.

I would have responded sweetly with something along the lines of, "Oh don't worry, dh has no complaints on that score. I am so sorry this seems to have been an issue for you though!"

i would've of burst out laughing and then go into silence into shock!!

I should add that he and his wife are the smuggest, most self-satisfied couple I know, "our children are cleverer than yours, our house is bigger than yours" etc so this is just a variation on the same theme - "my wife's fanjo is tighter than yours"

You know, a tight fanjo isn't necessarily a good thing.....

what a complete tosser....grrrrrrr

Message withdrawn

hehe maybe it was a reflection on teh size of his dingdong...haha

Yes, it was a completely stupid thing to say, not funny, and humiliating.

A thought - men often don't feel comfortable in a group of women. But, being men, they can't keep their mouths shut & have to give an opinion. If you were all talking about childbirth, maybe he didn't know where the line was, what with it being about intimate stuff. He either didn't realise he was stepping over the line, or thought he was being funny. Perhaps he didn't really think before he opened his mouth, and was thinking out loud.

I'm an only child, and I sometimes find, in a group of people, that I STILL don't know where the line is, and have said the wrong thing (especially if tired & emotionally 'in the vino'.

This bloke needs telling that he was out of order, so he learns for the future.

Yes, he was completely out of order, insulting, and commenting on a part of your life which is none of his business.

I also had no stitches after a 10 lb 6 oz baby (hence my nickname) and I might add that our sex life is no different since then, than before. So I disagree with his whole premise. What makes him think he's such an expert anyway? Is he a gynaecologist?

It was one of those situations where, in retrospect, a hard slap (like in the movies) would have been the best rejoinder.

Ewww. Not unreasonable. Can you imagine if you'd said to him, "can't you get a penis expander to make it better for your wife?"

Or, "Maybe YOUR penis is so small that you have problems in that area, but I don't."

simple answer to this - don't discuss the physical condition of your fanjo with other people

Sometimes people do just get the tone of a conversation a bit wrong. Speculation about cock size (in general) can pass as simple banter among friends "big car? Got a small willy?" Not everyone finds this sort of thing friendly or fun, to be sure, but I do think hitting someone for making a clumsily crude remark (or, actually, for saying anything, no matter how nasty) is excessive.

So would you favour a virtual slap on the wrist, rather than an actual slap on the face for this, Madamez?