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Original poster

To cause a massive scene in Sainsbury's car park

599 replies

momma1701 · 05/04/2017 21:10

Earlier today I went to Sainsbury's with both my DD's (7&1) I was just about about to pull in to the last mother and baby space when someone cuts me up to park there, ok annoying as fuck but whatever.
I find another non baby space which is a very tight squeeze with my car (it's quite big) not to mention the whole faf off youngest DD and her car seat palava, so we've finally got out just about and set out to go in store, this is when I notice the guy who cuts me up is on his own, not only that I recognise he's the same guy who done this to me last week!
So I flipped out!
Blush I asked him where his kids were and does he think it's acceptable to be able bodied (I know this now I've recognised him as I actually went to school with him and he lives near me) and watch someone else struggle whilst he doesn't actually need the space.
So what I got back was him shouting to me 'you don't have to have kids to park here' and 'I'll park where the fuck I want'
By this time my oldest DD was very upset with our shouting and his swearing so I started to walk away, he proceeded to shout abuse behind me and it was all just very embarrassing really!
All in all I'm glad I called him out in front of lots of tutting and clapping people Blushbut I wish I hadn't upset my DD, I just hate disrespectful people! And I went in and reported him Grin

OP posts:
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8
PoisonousSmurf · 06/04/2017 08:18

OP, aren't you worried that this 'man' knows where you live? What if he decides to 'teach you a lesson'. He sounds dangerous and even if someone I knew wound me up. I wouldn't retaliate if they knew where I lived.
Life is too short to have an argument on car parking.

treaclesoda · 06/04/2017 08:18

I'm with the OP on the zebra crossings. Every supermarket car park I've been in for about the past 20 years has a zebra crossing at the entrance to the shop.

ShatnersWig · 06/04/2017 08:19

Frouby said: "As long as it's legal I can drive whatever I like."

Arsehole at Sainsbury's might have said: "As long as it's legal I can park wherever I like". Because, actually, what he did is not illegal either.

treaclesoda · 06/04/2017 08:19

It's a bit of a leap from parking like a twat and getting angry when someone has a go at you to being dangerous

ShatnersWig · 06/04/2017 08:20

I'll give you zebra crossings. But zebra crossings AND yellow boxes? Nope. Not one.

Mrsmorton · 06/04/2017 08:20

How many people stood and clapped OP? Roughly? To the nearest 10?

Are you very strong?

Sparklingbrook · 06/04/2017 08:21

They may have been applauding the man. Shock Grin

SoupDragon · 06/04/2017 08:23

I see a pack of twats is out in force on this thread.

How did people manage before P&C spaces were made up? Well, there weren't compulsory car seats back then so getting a child in and out of a car was easier.

As someone else said, not usurping them when you don't need the extra space is basic courtesy manners, something that seems to be lacking nowadays.

The childfree driver in this tale was a ride, entitled arsehole. No ifs or buts.

Original poster
momma1701 · 06/04/2017 08:24

Yeah there's yellow boxes around the cash machines too
Or is this another thing you chose to ignore

OP posts:
Billybonkers76 · 06/04/2017 08:24

OP, not sure why you are getting so much backlash for speaking out as you did. He shouldn't be parked there. I never have the guts to speak out but I can give a good dirty look. Half of the mean girls on this thread must live in cloud cuckoo land! Get a smaller car?? WTF has your choice of car have to do with things! Possibly some of the most immature comments I've ever heard!

Sparklingbrook · 06/04/2017 08:27

Soup none of that about the child free driver is in doubt, just the way that it was 'dealt' with. Causing a massive scene? Never a good idea.

Quietly reporting it and not scaring the children or making a show of yourself-much better

Sirzy · 06/04/2017 08:29

The bit I don't like is the OP being so sure he doesn't have a reason to use the space. Yes he may be an arsehole but he may also have a very valid need for the space/being closer to the door. Having him as one of 2000 "friends" on Facebook doesn't mean she knows him!

If a space is free I use one with ds if it isn't I park elsewhere and I really couldn't care less who is using them. Sadly these spaces for some do seem to create an air of helplessness. Is a parking space really worth causing an argument about? If the other person is an arsehole then confronting them isn't going to do anything (except make you look like a fellow arsehole) if they have a valid reason to need it then embarrassing them isn't going to achieve anything either.

hellomoon · 06/04/2017 08:29

Wow Op - fair play for hanging in here.

For what it's worth:
Yep, seen yellow boxes and zebra crossings in a car park (gosh, who knew? Road markings on a road!)

And yes, I agree that people who take spaces designated for parent and child, when they aren't a parent and don't have a child are really irritating.

And yep, I sometimes feel irrationally pissed off as well. And... wait for it... I might sometimes even metaphorically 'lose my shit' as a reaction to someone else's selfish behaviour. Is it that right? Maybe not, but none of us are perfect..

Bu this is mumsnet - so you need to be the bigger person - and this is crucial - work through all scenarios in your mind to ensure that whilst he appears a selfish bastard, he may of course be fully entitled to that space because those spaces are not LAW and he might have issues of CHILDLESSNESS that could cause him some upset should you call him out on being a dick. Once you've run through all of that, you should of course not cause a scene and go quietly about your business.....got that?

ffs.

PollyPerky · 06/04/2017 08:31

When my kids were in car seats there were no C&P parking spaces- didn't exist 30 years back. I managed even with a 3-door car.

I have used a C&P space on very odd occasions when I had to get into the supermarket (and back out) quickly and there were no other spaces at all. Shock horror! I did it on the basis that wider spaces are a bonus for parents, not a right.

They are also used - or abused- by parents whose children are quite old enough to exit the car without being carried (as long as the parent holds the door so they don't scratch another car.)

I'd never use a disabled space. But parents do not have a RIGHT to a wider space. Anyone who think they have is mistaken.

Mulledwine1 · 06/04/2017 08:34

I do have a child and have parked in a P&C space about once. There was always a queue for them in my local Sainsburys even though there were plenty of spaces further away.

Supermarkets: move the P&C spaces to the far reaches of the car park. Problem solved. Only those who genuinely need the extra space will need them. Most will magically find they can cope with a smaller space if it saves them walking an extra 20m.

The arguments over these spaces are just ludicrous.

I also don't know why you need a larger car if you only have one dd.

ShatnersWig · 06/04/2017 08:34

Soup I don't think one person has posted defending the bloke who cut up the OP or parked in the P&C space (although as we know, it's not illegal to do so).

What's people have picked up on is the OP's attitude right from the off which doesn't make her out to be any better than the bloke she was complaining about.

I can understand the desire to say something. But she could just have made a comment. She chose to, in her words, "flip out". With her 7-year old daughter right next to her. Who the OP admits got upset not just with "his swearing" but "her shouting". She asked him "where his kids were" (they could, of course, be in the store for all we knew but it's OK, she realised later she knew the bloke from Facebook) and whether he thought it was "acceptable to be able bodied" and use that space (when disability has absolutely nothing to do with it).

She then gloated about the fact that, apparently some people applauded her for calling this chap out (which surprises many of us because I don't think many people would applaud in the first place and certainly wouldn't applaud a parent who had contributed to upsetting her own 7-year old daughter) and who then gloated for reporting someone for doing something that, well, isn't illegal, and that claimed to have watched this bloke be given a ticket (which most of us feel is unlikely, either the issuing of the ticket or that she just happened to stand around and watch him receive said ticket).

In other words, the majority of people on the thread AGREE with the OP that the bloke was an arsehole but that actually she didn't need to respond the way she did.

SoupDragon · 06/04/2017 08:42

I don't think one person has posted defending the bloke

Every single person who has snidely pointed out that they are a marketing gimmick, not legally enforceable and that the bloke can park where he likes has done that.

Every single person who has berated the OP for needing a wider space to get her 1 yr old out easily has done that.

Lots of people have done both those things without criticising the childfree arsehole at all.

SoupDragon · 06/04/2017 08:43

whether he thought it was "acceptable to be able bodied" and use that space (when disability has absolutely nothing to do with it).

A lack of diability has everything to do with it. If he has a disability then the P&C spots are fair game.

ShatnersWig · 06/04/2017 08:45

Soup They are pointing out that P&C spaces are not legally enforceable. Which is a statement of fact and is brought up on every single thread of this type - and let's be honest, they crop up with some regularity - where parents seem to think these are some legal protected space for parents only. Could people have said it better? Possibly, but I suspect the OP's attitude is what caused it to go the way it did.

ShatnersWig · 06/04/2017 08:47

Soup So are you saying it is perfectly valid for someone to go up to anyone parking in a P&C space without a child visible to ask them what their disability might be? There's a huge thread at the moment about people using accessible toilets and a lot of people have disabilities that aren't visible. Are you saying people should challenge anyone coming out of an accessible toilet if they aren't on crutches or a wheelchair to find out what their disability is? I would hope not.

Original poster
momma1701 · 06/04/2017 08:50

It comes down to the fact he does this everytime he shops there, it isn't a one off he always does it (not the cutting me up part obv)
That's why this time struggling to get my kids out the car while he swans past, I got annoyed and said something, I didn't go hunting him down he walked by my car and I told him what I thought.
After seeing the replies on this thread I would 100% do it again in the real world other people would have at least muttered something too, so don't come all high and mighty with he's entitled.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 06/04/2017 08:51

that claimed to have watched this bloke be given a ticket

I couldn't find where she said she waited about to watch him a ticket.

PollyPerky · 06/04/2017 08:51

The &OP's DD is 7* FFS!

I thought she was a babe in arms and needed to be carried and plopped in a buggy.

This is truly mad and OP ought to be ashamed of herself.

Why does a 7 yr old count as a person whose parents need a special space?

What about the elderly who struggle to walk or get in and out of cars?

my mum is 90. She's not disabled so doesn't qualify for a badge. When I take her shopping we park anywhere I can. But in reality she is more 'worthy' of a space closer to the store than a child of 7 and I open and close the doors for her on my car as she struggles a bit to get in and out.

Bonkers. Totally bonkers.

OP is bonkers.

Original poster
momma1701 · 06/04/2017 08:52

Of course I didn't wait for him to get a ticket,
It was on his car on the way out

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 06/04/2017 08:52

So are you saying it is perfectly valid for someone to go up to anyone parking in a P&C space without a child visible to ask them what their disability might be?

That's not what happened is it? Regardless,thereisnoneed to asks there would be a blue badge displayed if they were "allowed" to park there.

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