Upset about critiscm of unborn child name.

[patronsaintofglocks]

To cut a long story short,

I am pregnant with my first child and DP and I have chosen two names.

For a girl: Noah
(I understand that many people prefer the spelling Noa for a female but we don't.)

For a boy: Ezra

I am sick and tired of my family telling us to change our minds/names. It's getting me down and making me second guess myself.

Does anyone have any advice?

I know a woman called Shane, too, Bunty, so unless we know the same woman, it can't be that unusual.

And yet the Shane I know has had many, many comments about her unusual 'male' name. And she finds it tedious. Which she's allowed to, seeing as it's her name.

I'll let her know you think she's being silly though.

Oh yes I didnt think of the gender 'identification' thing aswell. people may assume that she is actually a boy identifying as a girl (whatever that looks like) but keeping the boys name.

Not a problem in itself but she may not be happy with people thinking that.

You're setting her up for a whole lifetime of questioning. It's selfish on your part to give her a name you like knowing it will be a lifelong issue for her.

I haven't read all the answers but I used to live in London and Noah is quite common for a girls name. My dd had two in her class. I think it's a lovely name.

But why not Noa, that's a lovely Hebrew name.

I guess don't share the names until baby is born. Then register name, and present as a fait accompli

I am sick and tired of my family telling us to change our minds/names.

And now Op has over 300 posts doing exactly the same. No wonder she's not been back!

If you like the names then go with them. Your baby your choice!

Your baby your choice!

You see I don't really get this. I could call my baby 'carrot' but it's them who would have to put up with the bullying, not me.

Cultural names are great, but it's worth thinking about how they work outside of your own background. I would think about choosing a name that works for both.

I have experience of a child called Titas, everyone automatically pronounced it the English way 'Ti - tas' however this wasn't the pronunciation that his parents preferred. They were not native English speakers and perhaps didn't realise the issues they were creating insisting his name was pronounced 'Tit- as'.

I always take a lot of care to pronounce names the correct way, but this was one occasion where choosing a name that worked in both languages would have been better.

My DS has what I consider to be a normal name (very popular since 2000) but when it is shortened he is teased because it sounds like "gay". But he prefers the shortened vision of his name, so the teasing clearly doesn't bother him.

I have a strange idea that Noah will be fine either way.

Name your child as you wish. But do give them a 'run of the mill' middle name that they can use if they decide they don't like their first name.

I had contemplated 'unusual' first names for DS1 but planned to give him a 'regular' middle name. I ended up liking that 'regular' name so well that we ended up giving it to him as his first name with a 'regular but lesser used' middle name.

You're setting her up for a whole lifetime of questioning. It's selfish on your part to give her a name you like knowing it will be a lifelong issue for her.

More selfish than people who give their kids trendy names which then become a huge joke (Sharon & Tracey, Jaden/Hayden/Kayden/Brayden)?

Or the ones who give their kids a popular name even though they will be one of three Olivia's or four Harry's and be known by an initial all through their school years?

Some names take a bit of explaining. Those names are usually not Oliver or Jessica. But that's alright.

Love love love both names, this is why people shouldn't discuss baby names lol

I'm with MsRinky and LoupGarou on this one, I think Ezra is at least as problematic. Expect to spend a lot of time telling people, "No, we're Jewish, we were not inspired by Ezra Pound"'

Thanks for all of your advice and the support of those who
Offered it.

Her name will still be Noah.

You call your child whatever you want and sod what anyone else thinks! People judge regardless. I have a unisex name and know more males with my name than females. My son also has a "different" name yet gets lots of compliments.

Good luck!!

I think it will be an awesome name for a girl OP.

And to counter some of the comments here - my DS has a name that has been solid top 20 for boys over the last few decades (think one of the gospels). I compromised. It wasn't my favourite name. And he thinks it's boring. He went through a phase of wanting to name himself much more interesting, and I almost let him!

Bunty where did I say i though she was being silly? I'd be fascinated to know.

It's all the people who are giving her grief about it that I find silly.

Anyway, if she hated it that much, well, she's presumably a grown woman, can change it if she wishes. But she hasn't.

I am 42 and have a man's name. It has been an issue my whole life. Please don't do it.

Okay you didn't say she was being silly. But you certainly seem dismissive of the idea that a man's name on a woman can be a pain in the arse for the holder of that name. It's not that people are being purposely rude, but it would be a very monotonous conversation to have. Over and over again.

I'll ask her if she's ever thought of changing her name.

It's incredibly monotonous as an adult but downright embarrassing when I was in school.

Why don't you change it Hercules?

I think they are probably just concerned for the child, when they go to school etc. Kids can be so cruel! I like Noah but actually prefer the spelling you don't like, as it's more feminine. But it's your baby! My children have unusual names but I love them, my family didn't particularly like my choices, but I didn't particularly care.

Noa is a pretty name. But are you making a point of telling people "Noah with a 'h'", just to make sure people know you are being different?

After the majority of people's advice saying you are setting her up for a life full of confused faces and raised eyebows, you don't really think yabu, so why ask?

I have thought about doing so many times. Wish I had years ago.