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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wine when pregnant

326 replies

patronsaintofglocks · 05/04/2017 12:52

Hi everyone.
I'm nearly 15 weeks pregnant with my first. It's my 24th birthday today.

I'm going out with my DP for dinner this evening, would IBU to have a glass of wine with my meal?

Thank you.

OP posts:
Girlincognito1 · 05/04/2017 14:13

I didn't. It would have felt weird to me.

SaucyJack · 05/04/2017 14:20

I didn't drink when in "pregnancy mode". It was easier for me to just not bother at all. One tiny glass would have been weirdly pointless.

hideehigh · 05/04/2017 14:20

YANBU, congratulations and happy birthday CakeWine

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 05/04/2017 14:37

Sorry, but. It would be unreasonable.
You wouldn't give a baby a glass of wine, would you.
Happy Birthday, mind Cake

RatherBeRiding · 05/04/2017 14:48

When I was pregnant the guidelines were different - up to 3 glasses a week I think it was. So I did. And a lot of my peers did too. No evidence that my children's generation has been damaged by this kind of alcohol intake.

Guidelines are different now - but they are just that - guidelines. The NHS is taking a zero risk approach. Doesn't mean you have to follow that advice.

Orangebird69 · 05/04/2017 14:51

Yanbu. I enjoyed the occasional glass of wine after 14 weeks. Have a lovely evening Flowers

ExplodingCarrots · 05/04/2017 14:54

I personally didn't have any alcohol but it's up to you entirely. I had a client who was a GP and she said she used to enjoy a bottle of stout whilst pregnant.

Flowersinyourhair · 05/04/2017 14:59

None whatsoever here. I hate the thought of it to be honest. It saddens me that alcohol is worth so much more to some than their baby.

Timeforteaplease · 05/04/2017 15:13

I did not know I was pregnant and was holiday for weeks 7-8, drinking like a fish. Blush Gave birth to a 10lb bruiser who is now at a great Uni on track for a first class degree.
So based on my experience alone, I think the odd glass is unlikely to do any harm.

edwinbear · 05/04/2017 15:17

I drank the occasional glass when pregnant with DS and DD in line with the guidelines at the time. With no ill effects whatsoever.

Shopkinsdoll · 05/04/2017 15:19

I had 2 glasses of wine with my second when pregnant. It was Christmas Eve. And it was lovely!!

BeyondUser24601 · 05/04/2017 15:20

I would (and did) have the odd glass.

JustHappy3 · 05/04/2017 15:22

I did drink in pregnancy. A glass of wine here and there which i believed was safe.

I wish i had read about FASD. I would have perhaps still had a wine but I would have been making that decision having taken on board some proper facts - not well wishers own views iyswim.
The one glass makes no difference brigade are plainly wrong. One glass won't cause FASD either - but every glass has an effect.

www.mofas.org/2014/06/what-causes-fetal-alcohol-spectrum-disorders-fasd/

Crunchymum · 05/04/2017 15:24

Didn't touch a drip first pregnancy. Had a glass of fizz at Xmas and NYE with my second. Although I was almost due by then.

Porpoiselife · 05/04/2017 15:25

YANBU 1 glass will be fine. My midwife said guidelines state none because they think none of us have any self control, so best to just say don't have any.

Obviously if you're downing a bottle a week, that's not the best plan. But 1 glass on your birthday is absolutely fine.

jdoe8 · 05/04/2017 15:26

The one glass makes no difference brigade are plainly wrong. One glass won't cause FASD either - but every glass has an effect.

Hear hear! But people only want to see something if it fits with them. The "caused no ill affects" gang are wrong to, just because there is no obvious and immediate damage it doesn't mean no long term damage was done.

PrivatePike · 05/04/2017 15:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NavyandWhite · 05/04/2017 15:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RainyDayBear · 05/04/2017 15:32

I read up on it quite a lot, and decided that by 20 weeks (when I was at a friends wedding) a splash of wine would be fine. And it was! Did the same a few months later at Christmas. DD is perfect!

Neverknowing · 05/04/2017 15:33

NHS website actually says light drinking (as long as it's not binge drinking) is okay during pregnancy, have one happy birthday 🎂

LittleLionMansMummy · 05/04/2017 15:45

I think you should make up your own mind op. Some responses here will give you cause for concern or worry, but only you know what feels right.

Fwiw I drank the occasional glass of wine with both my pregnancies after the first trimester. I actually drank slightly watered down drinks - white wine spritzers. I didn't do it much and rarely in front of strangers because I felt (quite rightly seeing some of the responses here) that they'd judge me.
Both children (6yo and 4 month old) absolutely fine developmentally, 6yo doing well at school etc. Others will say it's not worth the risk. The problem is that although we know that regular heavy alcohol consumption causes FAS, there's a huge grey area regarding how much. The advice is there because they cannot say with any certainty how much is 'safe' and therefore now advise women to abstain completely.

I very much doubt that a single glass of wine on your birthday is going to cause any problems. Welcome to the world of parental risk assessment, where one person's view will always differ from that of another with regard to carrying and raising children!

Greenfingeredfun · 05/04/2017 15:47

I wouldn't. Surely you can cope without?

welshweasel · 05/04/2017 15:51

Everyone is entitled to make their own decision about what they choose to eat/drink/do during pregnancy.

But please don't go spouting bollocks.

Having a glass of wine is not the same as giving a glass of wine to your baby. Anyone who says that clearly has zero understanding of human physiology.

There is no good quality evidence that a glass of wine poses any risk whatsoever to your unborn baby.

I can't understand how people can get so worked up and judgey about something where there is no identifiable risk, yet some of the people who openly judged me for holding this view had no issues with cot bumpers or forward facing car seats for toddlers, both of which have far more evidence of potential harm behind them.

And before we go there, can I just throw in the fact that it's absolutely 100% fine to breastfeed and drink alcohol (in case the OP is planning on BF). So long as you're not co sleeping and you're sober enough to look after the baby, quaff away.

Strokethefurrywall · 05/04/2017 15:52

I think you may cause more harm to your unborn child calling it Noah if it's a girl than having a glass of wine.

I'm not even going to comment on the, frankly amazing amount of goady "it's like giving an infant a shot glass" posts because there is just no point arguing with stupid.

Mulledwine1 · 05/04/2017 15:53

Not RTFT but yes it's fine.

There will always be people who say "but you don't know the risks". No, and neither do they, they're just being judgey for no good reason. Pregnant women are too stupid you see to work out the difference between a bottle a day and a glass a week.

It is entirely possible to drink alcohol at safe levels.