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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a twelve year old can get themselves ready in the morning?

36 replies

FerdinandsRevenge · 05/04/2017 07:13

I have three exchange students staying with me, 12,12,13. Yesterday had to almost literally shove them out door. Along with constant warnings of "We're late!!" They have to leave in 15 minutes and haven't even left their room yet.. despite 2 wake up calls starting at 6:30. Don't suppose they will eat breakfast that's on the table at this point, although yesterday they sat down for it with 5 minutes to go and continued to leisurely eat it for 15Hmm. Then they said they had to get their backpacks ready!!

they have a bus to London to catch!

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Original poster
FerdinandsRevenge · 05/04/2017 07:14

Fwiw they're not covered in makeup and spending hours on hair either, just normal travel wear... what are they doing???

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Qvar · 05/04/2017 07:15

Not always. Some are spoilt and some simply don't have the time management skills. Yabu for assuming all 12 year olds are the same

Original poster
FerdinandsRevenge · 05/04/2017 07:20

Maybe they don't want breakfast they've been basically mainlining hairibo since arrival.. probably not hungry

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dylsmimi · 05/04/2017 07:23

Wow YNBU - I would expect them to be ready - I expect my 6 yr & 4yr old to eat breakfast (I get it ready) get dressed and ready and shoes and coat when I say so. It does take constant reminders on some days though!
Do you have a clock visible in your house for them to time check? Can you go over timings the evening before so they know at 8.30 we need to leave the house, you need to be ready including backpack and breakfast?

Rossigigi · 05/04/2017 07:23

My 12 year got himself up at 6am both yesterday and today- is also dressed and ready for school.
This is the FIRST time I haven't had to drag him out of bed, shout we are late and so on- so either it's a teen thing or we are both unlucky!

Rossigigi · 05/04/2017 07:24

currently trying to get my 17 year old up..... We leave in 20 mins

Original poster
FerdinandsRevenge · 05/04/2017 07:26

dslymi no clock in their room, but they have all got very expensive smart phones that seem to have been surgically added to their palms! I've gone over timings nights before and giving a running commentary all morning.

rossis

I hope it's unlucky as couldn't face it if my three are all doing that as teens 😬

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Original poster
FerdinandsRevenge · 05/04/2017 07:27

(My three actual children, not the three students who don't belong to me!)

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oldbirdy · 05/04/2017 07:28

Ha ha. Depends on the 12 year old. It was at this age that both my boys turned from cheery kids leaping out of bed each morning into duvet slugs incapable of waking up without massive and repeated intervention on my part. My eldest in particular would sleep til 3pm if you don't wake him. I am told somewhere that there are cheery well organised morning types throughout the teenaged years eyes 10 year old hopefully

CremeEggThief · 05/04/2017 07:31

I think it's good if my 14 year old is up 20 minutes before he leaves the house. Sometimes, he gets ready in 10!

Disclaimer: I don't get up to watch his faffing around, when I'm not working (p/t). I actually as a back up alarm call, make sure he's up and leave him to it. Or it would drive me nuts!

BewtySkoolDropowt · 05/04/2017 07:32

Maybe they just aren't used to getting up at 6.30am. My kids would have struggled with that, as they didn't need to get up till about 8.

Are they up late chatting maybe ?

afromom · 05/04/2017 07:32

DS 12 is exactly like this. I have to follow him round the house all morning giving him reminders, including banging on the bathroom door several times to get him out of the shower. It drives me mad!
Yes they should be able to get themselves ready at 12/13, unfortunately in my experience this is not a reality. If I didn't have to leave at the same time as him for work I would leave him to be late for school in the hope that getting in trouble would work, unfortunately can't do that as I have to be at work!

elodie2000 · 05/04/2017 07:43

Wow. They are being rude but teenagers are notoriously bad at timekeeping! You're being too nice! Be insistent with them!
When left to it, my DC take ages to get ready at an annoyingly leisurely pace.
Are they with you for a while?
If so, don't be afraid of telling them what to do.
Run through timing for next day the night before.
Tell them that you will wake them up at x 'o'clock and that they need to be up, dressed and bag packed, ready to leave the house by x'o'clock.
Tell them that they need to be on time. Don't be afraid to say 'we're going now' when time is up and start herding them out ready or not.
(Although in reality, I always tell DC especially that we are leaving 30 mins before we need to so that there is extra time built in if we need it.)

elodie2000 · 05/04/2017 07:47

Just seen that you do most of this. In that case stop being nice. They'll get the message if they see you're pissed off.

LindyHemming · 05/04/2017 08:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RebootYourEngine · 05/04/2017 08:15

My ds is like this, always has been. He has no concept of time. If he has an appointment at 10am in his mind its like he needs to leave at 10am, he doesnt think about how long it will take to get there.

It drives me nuts because i hate lateness.

gabsdot · 05/04/2017 08:18

My 13 year old is very organised, sets his alarm and gets himself up and ready.
My DD is 9 and i still have to dress her, she's so distracted.
As long as it doesn't impact you and make you late, I'd let them be late for school and face the consequences.

harderandharder2breathe · 05/04/2017 08:38

Yanbu but I have the same battle with some of my Guides every year at camp, so I sympathise

Rossigigi · 05/04/2017 08:40

OP my fingers are crossed for you that yours are more organised!

lottachocca · 05/04/2017 08:40

Let them miss the bus, you are enabling them.

Original poster
FerdinandsRevenge · 05/04/2017 08:54

Where would they go if they missed their bus? There's no school. It would mean back to mine and I'm not babysitting. Also I suspect the people who organise would not be impressed with me and I wouldn't be allowed to host again. It's only short term so a only a few more days. Just surprised really as they're otherwise perfectly lovely.

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JonesyAndTheSalad · 05/04/2017 08:58

Is it their first day? They're probably absolutely shattered.

Joolsy · 05/04/2017 08:58

My 13 y/o is fantastic at getting ready - I do literally nothing for her in the mornings - we both do her lunchbox the night before. I think she would rather not face the consequences of being late for school

Original poster
FerdinandsRevenge · 05/04/2017 09:01

Not the first day but they were up jabbering away last night, so they probably are shattered. I've hosted 14-16 so far so I'm just used to slightly more self sufficient children

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Original poster
FerdinandsRevenge · 05/04/2017 09:01

It was like watching them eat their breakfast in slow motion yesterday Grin

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