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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wibu to uninvite her?

53 replies

sailorcherries · 04/04/2017 15:07

I'll try to keep it short.

At the end of last year OH and I spoke about a short break in the UK over summer. We'd have a newborn (no more than 12 weeks old) but still wanted DS to have a little get away.

We initially thought about Centre Parcs but it was too expensive. My Dsis came over to our house when we were discussing it and she said she'd like to come as it means OH and I could get a break and she'd take DS swimming etc (chances are I won't be able to swim, elcs planned). We agreed. It would be nice to have some help and DS is close to her.

Fast forward and Centre Parcs became too expensive. Instead we booked a caravan holiday through the Sun promotions and paid for the newest/upgraded caravans, 4 nights. We paid for OH and I plus the two kids. We asked Dsis if she still wanted to come and she said yes, it would cost an additional £50 to add her and she would pay.

Dsis then gets a new BF, who is also a good friend of OH (together 2 months at this point and 4 by the time of the holiday). Lately she's been asking aboit adding him on too and he'd pay, completely ignoring the fact that 4 adults, 1 child and a baby in a 2 bed caravan isn't the best situation. Not to mention we invited her to cheer her up after a break up and she was going to spend quality time with DS. Dsis and her BF are looking at this as more of another holiday, relaxing and then drinking through the night. Completely impractical in our situation. Also, in terms of money OH and I had no problem buying a little extra food to cover a few dinners, lunches and breakfasts for Dsis, but we can't afford to do that for two extra adults nor is there room for two separate shops.

Since they've started to date Dsis has become inseparable from him, as she did with her ex. But really, a 4 night caravan holiday with a newborn and demanding child can't be seen as fun for a young 20 something, can it? I suspect it's Dsis pushing him to come, for her own wants.

I've told her she doesn't have to come if her BF isn't and she keeps insisting that it's fine, only to ask again in a few days. Wibu to return her £50 and tell her OH and I just want quiet down time with the kids and sbe can look at going away with her BF instead?

OP posts:
Original poster
sailorcherries · 04/04/2017 15:07

That really isn't short. I apologise.

OP posts:
ThePiglet59 · 04/04/2017 15:10

Give her the money back.
Who wants the kids listening to two twenty somethings shagging furiously in a caravan?

ZackyVengeance · 04/04/2017 15:11

where would you put everyone? a 2 bed caravan is not that big

EllaHen · 04/04/2017 15:15

Do not give in and let the boyfriend come. No chance.

Be clear on that and she may well back out herself.

Original poster
sailorcherries · 04/04/2017 15:17

Initially OH and I in the main bedroom, travel cot in the living room and DS and Dsis in the two single beds. Not too much room, but doable.

Now she wants her and BF in the living room with the travel cot (because they obviously expect a baby to sleep during the night and/or me to lift him for feeds before he cries and then to relocate to the bedroom and so on), DS in wee room and OH and I in the main room.

OP posts:
LadyTennantofTardis · 04/04/2017 15:18

Could they get another caravan on same site?

EverythingEverywhere1234 · 04/04/2017 15:19

Yea, nah. It's either just her or neither. That's completely impractical, would change the whole dynamic of the holiday and she sounds like she's being fucking annoying.

ChasedByBees · 04/04/2017 15:19

That's not going to work.

Original poster
sailorcherries · 04/04/2017 15:21

Thank god I'm not being unreasonable. She won't see it that way though.

OH just wants to uninvite her completely because it's becoming boring and it will stop her asking despite being told.

OP posts:
Original poster
sailorcherries · 04/04/2017 15:22

They could get another caravan, at a cost of almost £400 to them bar than £100 to add on to our booking.

We used the promotions so got it cheaper than normal, they'd be too late for that.

OP posts:
EverythingEverywhere1234 · 04/04/2017 15:24

I'd be inclined to uninvite her altogether, it clearly isn't sinking in that you don't want her DP going and, by the sounds of it, she'll just spend the whole time moping and texting him even if she does go.

SleepFreeZone · 04/04/2017 15:25

Oh god uninvite them, that sounds like hell.

Original poster
sailorcherries · 04/04/2017 15:26

Yeah her BF and OH are friends, but OH and I don't want a holiday with friends.

OP posts:
Cosmicglitterpug · 04/04/2017 15:27

That bedroom arrangement is shit. Uninvite her.

mickeysminnie · 04/04/2017 15:28

Just be blunt!
"Your bf CANNOT come. If you still want to come, great, if you don't, no problem here is your £50 back. I don't want to have this discussion again!"

highinthesky · 04/04/2017 15:29

Tell DSis you don't want to share a small caravan with someone who isn't close family. (Who would?!).

She'll make her own choice of no BF or no holiday.

HiggeldyPiggeldy · 04/04/2017 15:33

^^ what Mickeysminnie said

lazytuesday · 04/04/2017 15:34

Clearly say NO now. Dont pussy foot around the matter because she will think she can convince you and the fallout will be worse in the end.
Say that there is not the space and you are sorry.

KoalaDownUnder · 04/04/2017 15:37

That sounds like the world's most unrelaxing holiday. Fuck that.

Do what mickey said.

HouseworkIsASin10 · 04/04/2017 15:38

Just say no, it's different dynamics now. Tell her to go off and have a break with her boyfriend.

Give her the £50 back, it's no big deal.

leighb23 · 04/04/2017 15:44

Ok I'm gonna buck the trend here. Any chance customer services at the holiday park could quote you moving to a larger caravan, with sister paying the extra? 3 bedroom vans are not rare!

Original poster
sailorcherries · 04/04/2017 15:49

leigh we did consider a bigger caravan, but that doesn't then stop the issue of her wanting to go away and do things with him, shopping, cooking, travel there and the whole baby who wakes through the night.

I lived with my DF, DM and Dsis when DS was a newborn, she's been around a new baby and all they entail, he hasn't so it wouldn't combat that unfortunately

OP posts:
Megatherium · 04/04/2017 15:51

Is this arrangement even legal? I'm not sure the caravan owners would be too keen. And do they really want everyone stepping over them when they go to the loo or want a drink? Do they realise that children tend to wake early on holiday and don't stay calmly in their tiny caravan bedrooms? Not sure that the boyfriend would enjoy being woken at 5, or being interrupted mid-shag.

Shakirasma · 04/04/2017 15:51

Surely with the lounge bed in use there won't be room for the travel cot in there?

Tell her that there is no way you can accommodate him in a 2 bed caravan so she either leaves him at home or they pay the difference in cost to change to a 3 bed.

GotToGetMyFingerOut · 04/04/2017 15:54

Just say to her honestly, she can either come alone herself with you or if she wants him to come they will need to book their own caravan as it will be too right a squeeze and you want to have fairly early nights and likely early rises with the wee one.