To think this is excessive

[Jemimapiddleduck]

People who drink daily

Even if it's "just" a couple

I come from a family of "non alcoholics" but there is a middle ground, you know.

We do (when I'm not pregnant) drink most evenings, a glass with supper or sometimes more. The fact that I stopped drinking the moment I found out I was pregnant, without giving it a second thought, suggests I don't have a problem.

Lots of people are able to sit an enjoy alcohol regularly without having a "problem". However, at s minimum of 2 and more likely 5-6 every evening, it's more likely to be an issue.

This is useful to calculate units and calories.
www.drinkaware.co.uk/understand-your-drinking/unit-calculator
Many people are in unaware of the extra calories consumed by drinking alcohol every day and adding it up is an eye opener. Personally I'd feel rather rubbish if I drank everyday.

The fact that he would struggle to stop is the giveaway. It wouldn't matter if it was one a night or ten - if you can't go without it without some serious deterioration in behaviour/mood/wellbeing, then it's an addiction. That's how I finally realised, after decades, that my next-of-kin were actually alcoholics and not "just social drinkers". On the days they couldn't drink for whatever reason they were unbearable monsters. They always found ways to explain their bad moods though - something had gone wrong, the day had been especially stressful, whatever. Usually the same excuses for why they needed an extra drink this day too, which would soon become the new normal amount.

Anyway, yes, I suspect there's a problem. Good luck OP.

I know there is a problem.

That's not my question though.

In which case, serious question: can you spell out for me exactly what your question is?

Frankly if you come from a family of non drinkers you are unlikely to have clue what 'normal' is.

I'm having to live with my parents atm. At 41 yo I buy myself a bottle of wine on a Friday and have a couple of glasses Fri/Sat night. Sometimes there's even a glass left for Sunday as don't usually start until DD is in bed.

My mum is a life long teetotaler who is constantly implying I'm a raving alcoholic and making dark comments about the likelihood of me dying of liver disease.

Frankly it is a fucking pita.

By all means encourage him to have a couple of nights 'off' a week, but his consumption is hardly excessive.

Ok, should have rtft.

5-11 beers a night is crazy. For some reason I got the impression it was a couple of average glasses of wine.

Some weeks i have a small glass of red every night, some weeks i have nothing.

Great user name for the sake of fuck off....

"Do you think drinking everyday is excessive even if it is only a couple"

I'm hazarding a guess that you are being touchy…?

Whatever the case, your question is not specific enough for anyone to really provide a sensible answer. It needs more context, and you need to clarify whether your question is seeking an answer about social norms or psychological/physiological outcomes. Assuming you mean psychological/physical, even then you still need to be more precise, e.g.

"AIBU to think that drinking every day and they can't go without it, even if it's only a couple is excessive?"

"…drinking neat shots of absinthe every day, even if it's only a couple is excessive?"

"…drinking on an empty stomach in response to stress every day when it affects them mentally/physically quite badly, even if it's only a couple is excessive?"

Otherwise the answer is really always "it depends". That's because "excessive" is defined on a case-by-case basis for each individual. Some people could drink two strong shots every day and their body size/ethnicity/temperament/mental health/liver will allow them to get away with it. Others could have two weak beers every day and die of liver complications at 50.

In short, to answer your question: it depends.

A 'couple of what? A couple of triple gins is very different to a couple of small glasses of wine or a few half pints of shandy!

Wasn't being touchy at all - it's a great name. I'm far too dim witted to come up with anything clever.

Any drink.

Are those who drink everyday excessive even if it is minor amounts

But he isn't drinking minor amounts. A minor amount would be a unit or so. Not several beers.

Stupidly excessive, I'm not much of a drinker. I couldn't bear alcohol EVERYDAY.

My dad however has it most days

I think it is excessive: not necessarily in terms of addiction but in terms of general health. Alcohol contains empty calories and carries health disbenefits. It's too much.

Ah, forgive me. It was the "off" but at the end that threw me.

In which case we're still back to "what kinds of drink" - two gin and tonics that are 90% tonic for instance, and each barely fills a small tumbler? Probably not so excessive.

Other way round with 90% gin? That's a problem. It would also depend on whether they could stop, what it was in response to, how their body handled it, and so on.

So still: it depends.

*…"off" bit at the end…

I should add, my grandma used to swear by having "a shot of whisky" in her Horlicks every night , so traditionally at Christmas we'd get her a nice fancy bottle or two of whisky. It was only when, one Christmas, she noted that she hadn't got through the last lot yet and I questioned how that could be possible if she had some every day that I discovered she actually meant a teaspoon of whisky. She thought herself quite hardcore and progressive for her nightly treat, I can tell you. Anyway, point being, you can see how even two of those crazy mugs of Horlicks a night isn't likely to ping on anyone's radar as excessive.

I think this is too much and wouldn't be comfortable but I also have history with alcoholics. I don't drink as a result.

What is the point of having a couple of drinks every night? Is it basically a self-administered relaxant?

I drink a small glass of wine or a G&T every evening. A bottle of wine lasts me 5/6 days. I definitely don't have a problem with alcohol but like a glass in the evening. I can definitely go without and if I'm working or out with friends then I won't have one. YABU as are other posters saying that one daily drink is a problem with alcohol

I drink a few glasses of wine a week, certainly not everyday and often it is my OH who buys drink and I have a drop- I never drink alone. I suspect if I were single I would be pretty near teetotal. Most days it doesn't even occur to me to have a drink. But I do enjoy it sometimes. I wish I could be as nonchalant about food. And also wish my son and I could swap- he is an alcoholic and thin as a rake.