To think I'm too delicate for Facebook?

[twinklehickorymoomoo]

I've suffered from anxiety for a long time. I've come to the conclusion that I'm too delicate for Facebook. If I get deleted by someone it plays on my mind for weeks. I know there could be a hundred reasons why, e.g. Only met in real life a couple of times, or they've having a general friends clear out, I annoy them with hundreds of photos of my kids etc! But I find someone purposely clicking that they no longer want to be my friend really upsetting. I never generally add people as friends and just accept when they add me, but how do I stop getting so offended when I get deleted? I constantly play things back in my head wondering what I've done wrong and then come to the conclusion that people are talking behind my back spreading awful rumours which are making people want to delete me. Am I the only one?!

You have some serious anxiety going on. I suggest you come off facebook completely even if just for a month or so. You need it! You need to live in real life only for a while.

So it's not normal to get upset or offended when someone doesn't want to be your friend? Seriously considering deleting it but wanted to know if what I'm feeling is normal or common before I do. Do other people feel upset or are they more resilient?

I would come off if it upsets you.

How do you know they deleted you? I have facebook but never keep track of stuff like that.

I only know as I've noticed that people that were frequent posters have disappeared and when I check I'm no longer their friend. I just find it really harsh to think that someone has clicked on my profile and consciously thought that they no longer want to be my friend! I know that's the way of social media, but I think I take it too personally!

It doesn't bother me at all when people remove me as a friend. So to me, you are being way over sensitive and if it is really worrying you, then I would agree with the others that you should drop facebook.

Facebook is absolutely awful. I would go so far as to say it's responsible for exacerbating mental health issues in its suffering members. Definitely my experience of it & I've never looked back since deleting it for a plethora of reasons. Get rid would be my advice.

Ok will remove for a month. Annoying as I use it to store photos and videos. I've got a private album that only me and my husband can see and all the photos of the kids go in there in case I lose my phone. I generally only actually post on their publicly once or twice a week so not so bothered re that.

Come off there, it will be good for you mental wellbeing.
FB is a great little waste of 10 minutes if you can be pragmatic about it, if you are genuinely upset that someone you hardly know has cut their link with you on social media then it sound's more stress than it's worth for you op.

Sassy I'm so glad I'm not the only one. My mental health bar the anxiety isn't too bad and even the anxiety on a day to day basis is ok at the mo. No medication currently etc, but Facebook seems to really mess with my head.

Are these people you know well in real life, just acquaintances or people you've met online?

Gosh - I'd come off completely if it affects you like that. Spend a day backing up your pictures onto a drive and then shut it down.

None of them I've just met online. A couple of examples, a lady who lives a few roads down, only really bump into her once every few months, been friends on fb for years and she's just recently deleted me. A girl I know through toddler groups, don't see her regularly but we regularly comment on statuses and photos of each other's kids, she's deleted me but kept other members of the toddler group. I don't think I've said or done anything as I'm super careful not to rock the boat with people as I can't be doing with the stress! My comment on statuses are usually just boring things such as looks great, or cute photo!

I've removed a bunch of people from college. I'm still their friend but my timeline is filling up with pictures of kids I've never met and probably never will who belong to people I haven't seen in nearly a decade. So I then don't see any posts that would interest me from my actual close friends. They never chat to me and don't play any of the same games as me. There is just no reason to have them on facebook. It doesn't mean I don't want to be their friend anymore, just that we aren't a huge part of each others lives.

Get rid of it. I did, a week or so ago. I don't miss it at all (and okay, it's only been a week, but I haven't felt the slightest urge to look at it).

It's not real life, and it's not good for mental health for many people.

I do try not to take offence but it's hard!!! Don't think I'm cut out for it!!!

Can I keep messenger without Facebook? A lot of friends I meet up with message me on there and we don't have each other's numbers. If not I'll exchange numbers

It helps to remember that 'friend' is just terminology. It doesn't actually mean 'friend' in a real sense.

I think it would be be better if they'd chosen a less loaded term, such as 'connection' or 'link'.

Humans are social creatures, and pretty sensitive, and language matters.

Come off the damn thing. It's an anxiety provoker.

Twinkle

I have anxiety and get upset by Facebook. I've deleted the app so now I have to search for Facebook and it means I use it less. Eventually I would like to come off it completely.

I think it creates an unnatural window of knowledge - I will feel sad if my children or I haven't been invited to something when without Facebook I wouldn't have known about the event and (in respect of me) wouldn't have expected to have been invited. It creates a false level of intimacy with people that isn't there.

I have deleted a few people and the reasons weren't nasty. One guy I had sympathy for but he was so negative and writing angry comments about his family that I deleted him. It felt voyeristic. Other mums from nursery I have deleted as my children are older now and I never see these people - it's not personal, I just wanted a smaller more intimate list of friends. Maybe the people your friend kept from nursery still cross paths with her - ie children now at same school or Cubs/brownies. It doesn't sound personal if that helps.

StarryIllusion

You can delete them but you can alternativeky change your settings so they don't come up in your feed

Exchange numbers and use whatsapp so you can also exchange photos if wanted. Replace facebook with instagram if required for photos etc.

Just delete it OP, why continue with something if it makes you unhappy. Remember their are FB friends and there are real friends and the FB ones are just people you know in passing mostly.

I personally don't believe in sharing hundreds of photos of my DCs on social media as I think it's intrusive but I understand that others like to do this. I have a few FB friends that post daily stuff about their DC and it can be a bit annoying plus I feel a bit sad for the kids that every waking moment is being shared online. However I hide posts rather than unfollow but maybe you have FB friends that feel like this.

You can keep Messenger without Facebook.

I get what you're saying completely OP. It's not good if you're an anxious person and one who tends to analyse.

You're all so nice! Will deffo delete for a bit but keep messenger. And to the person that says that the term friends should be changed to links I totally agree! Being un friended is traumatic!!!

They deleted you as you're not actually 'friends'....you are just 'linked' to them via an online platform.

I always think like this...I don't like everyone I know or meet and therefore some people may not like me.

As an alternative they could have actually deactivated their account....