Really could do with someone to talk to about this, besides friends and family who are probably sick of hearing it. I feel so low and don't know at to do. I am 36 weeks pregnant, my job is becoming increasingly stressful. I work 4 days per week but the workloads coming in lately are hideous and have been for a few weeks now. We are quite a lean team and others in my team feel the same, whereas some people don't have that much work to do. However our particular little team is always at the forefront of everything and are like the back bone of the department, as a result taking the most pressure.
Just lately there have been a few hiccups due to working at a fast pace and the increased workloads. I have been addressed about these hiccups which are genuine, and I've explained to my manager I feel these are down to me working too,quickly etc and wouldn't have happened otherwise. I am a long serving employee with a great track record, have won awards, got promoted etc. My other colleagues have made some equally as bad hiccups, which was just down to rushing etc as well. However these people are full time and my manager doesn't seem too fussed, i.e. they might get an email about it and thats it, whereas I'm asked to go to a meeting to discuss my issues. It seems my manager is a lot more focused on what I do wrong rather than anyone else. That's not paranoia or anything, that is how it is.
She accused me of trying to pass things over to other colleagues all of the time, which is absolutely way off the truth, I rarely pass things over, and am very conscious that i do the exact opposite. You can't challenge her as she's very outspoken and shoots you down quick and fast. She is piling the pressure onto me, constantly emailing me, micromanaging me, where are we at with this, have you actioned this (request from previous day which is extremely low priority) giving me increased work etc. One thing in particular was a project that was optional, but she then shouted across the office that she'd like me to do it to get exposure etc, despite me saying I am reluctant to take it on because of my work pattern and the fact I have a few days annual leave coming Up and I didn't want to delay the project, she insisted I do it. Making me feel bad by saying I already passed up the pervious project where a workshop fell on a day I had a hospital (baby related) appointment that I couldn't rearrange, I therefore had to pass this project onto someone else. She wasn't afraid to tell me that project was for 'me to manage around my part time hours' and she didn't understand why I couldn't have tried to get on another workshop a week later, I told her due to the project deadlines this wouldn't have been the sensible thing to do as it would be pushing things and that it made sense from the outset to decline it and let my very willing and eager colleague to take it on. After all this was optional and for exposure only and in her words this type of stuff shouldn't interfere with business as usual. This latest project is taking up SO much of my time and it isn't my business as usual job, it's something she's passed our way for 'the exposure'. It is taking up so much of my time, I can't do much of my other work and have had annual leave that I booked ages ago and had plans for, which is making it even more intense. I come back to emails from my colleagues with requests from clients that were emailed 3 days previous asking me to 'pick this up'. I tell my manager Im not too pleased with that and it also makes us look bad to the client that they've waited that long for a response and she agrees. Yet the very next day she emails my colleagues and copies me in asking them to do something urgent on Monday, but states as I am on annual leave that they are to forward their low priority work to me to action when I am back. It's like it's a deliberate disregard for what I said the day before.
In addition to this, I have had to leave some of my project work (the project I said I was worried to take on) with another colleague, who said she is More than happy to help while I am off. However I've seen an email today where this colleague has emailed my manager to say she's unsure what she has to do as she's had no information from me. I am puzzled because we had a detailed handover about it. All she needs to do is draft a letter for me and I've emailed her the bulk of what needs to go in it. My department can be extremely bitchy and we've had a couple of people submit grievances because of it. I feel like she has tried to stab me in the back.
I am just so fed up. I work to a ridiculous pace (so do my other 2 colleagues in fairness) but I feel my part time working is just not took into consideration, it is looked at as a hinderance to the team, and that impression I get from my manager more than anyone else. Just lately I never take a proper lunch break, engage in conversation with my colleagues because I am simply too busy, or even look at my phone for 5 mins on lunch etc. I am worrying about work all of the time, checking my emails on days off about 30-40 times a day to see what's coming in, or what I fear I may have messed up on etc due to rushing. I asked to get paid my annual leave because it's so busy but my manager said no, so I had to take it. It's pointless me taking holiday because I don't enjoy it anymore as all I do is think about work. It consumes me. I did tell my manager this and all she said is slow down and take my time. But then emails my colleagues inviting them to email me more work during my time off and she is always on my tail asking for updates, actions on everything.
I can't talk about work without getting quite upset about it. I feel people are now starting to become bitchy towards me for working less etc. I have an appointment at my GP tomorrow and I plan on asking to be signed off but I am nervous and not sure whether to. I've not had a sick day for 3 years and I'd never normally consider being signed off, but I am seriously worried my health is having an an effect on my unborn baby. My house is an absolute mess as I have no desire to clean etc, which for me is quite odd. What should I do?