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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be sick of charity doorsteppers

98 replies

LouiseBrooks · 03/04/2017 21:21

I just had a girl from Marie Curie knocking on my door to ask me to contribute. It's 9.00pm. This happens every couple of months, not the same charity each time. Sometimes it's Saturday or Sunday evenings, it's always after 8.

I know they're all great charities, I know times are hard, and I do contribute to my chosen charities, but AIBU to think that my home should be off limits?

OP posts:
MimsyBorogroves · 04/04/2017 17:53

I get it's their job and they're trying to raise for charity, but the ones I've had lately are getting on my tits. They tend to come at half 7, and when I say that I'm sorry, but don't have time as I'm putting children to bed they try and persuade me otherwise Hmm Very passive aggressive too.

LuxCoDespondent · 04/04/2017 18:01

YANBU. Next time they turn up asking for money, turn the conversation around and request that they hand over money to you for you to pass on to a charity that you support.

If they won't give you their own personal money then why should you give them yours? And if by some miracle they do give you money, thank them and slam the door!

Remember that these people are being paid to use emotional blackmail to guilt-trip you into giving them money. Any money that you hand over, a large chunk of that goes to the admin costs of running the campaign which includes the wages of the person at your door. Effectively you are paying them to make you feel guilty.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with dishing out some verbal abuse to these people, nothing wrong with slamming the door in their face, and nothing wrong with wasting their time.

Bettyspants · 04/04/2017 18:01

What I find annoying is that the employees are often just assigned to a charity... commission is based on numbers that sign up. I don't know why but it irks me that it's just signing you up rather than a genuine Intrest in the charity. That's probably very judgemental of me and it's a job i wouldn't want to do... I'm always polite and explain I'm already signed up with a couple before they start the real. Yes it's annoying to have cold callers but you don't HAVE to open the door , or be rude to someone trying to earn a living

Bettyspants · 04/04/2017 18:05

**There is absolutely nothing wrong with dishing out some verbal abuse to these people, nothing wrong with slamming the door in their face, and nothing wrong with wasting their time.

Completely disagree with this. Whilst it's annoying does anyone really deserve that type of rudeness? Completely uncalled for.

Bettyspants · 04/04/2017 18:05

**There is absolutely nothing wrong with dishing out some verbal abuse to these people, nothing wrong with slamming the door in their face, and nothing wrong with wasting their time.

Completely disagree with this. Whilst it's annoying does anyone really deserve that type of rudeness? Completely uncalled for.

sirfredfredgeorge · 04/04/2017 18:09

It's rude to knock on someones door without good reason.
Begging / Attempting to scam people out of cash is not good reason.

Shutting the door on them is not an inappropriate response. Remember it cannot possibly make contact with them, as they are not allowed anywhere over the threshold, so all it is is shutting the door on a rude uninvited interruption.

Crashbangwhatausername · 04/04/2017 18:14

I did this for a short time when I was unemployed and desperate - honestly it's ok to say no and shut the door, it stops everyone's time being wasted. Also the stickers work, unless the person is a moron. I hate them too, nearly as much as I hated being one

1nsanityscatching · 04/04/2017 18:17

The last one I had call I mistook for one of ds's friends.So opened the door, said "Sorry James ds isn't home he'll be back about 9. How is your mum? Is Laura ok? How's baby? etc etc" Until he got a word in edge ways and told me he wasn't James he was a charity fundraiser for Sightsavers Blush Without pausing for breath I told him that as my eyesight is so bad I couldn't recognise the face of someone I had known for 25 years then I had better use any spare funds on getting my own eyesight fixed Wink

happymumof4crazykids · 04/04/2017 18:49

I get them all the time. We live on a long straight road that constantly has people cold calling from every kind of company/charity. I put a big sticker on the door and they still call all the time. I get told signs don't apply to charities as they aren't cold callers. Other people claim they didn't notice the big A5 sized sign or that as they are for government schemes they are permitted to call. I tell every single one of them to sod off and not knock my door again. They bang on the door late evening and wake the babies up it pisses me off! The only people that seem to take any notice of it are the jehovah witnesses. They just post a leaflet through the door. That I can cope with!

Chattymummyhere · 04/04/2017 18:58

I normally let them waste their time then tell them that DH is the one with all the money and at work so I can not possibly set up a Direct debit or I let them sign me and then cancel in 3/4 days later.

ShitIForgotToUntick · 04/04/2017 19:03

I put a sign up last year and haven't had a single cold call since. Alternatively just don't answer your door. I never answer mine after dark.

RaeSkywalker · 04/04/2017 21:26

Seriously, those of you who think I'm ridiculous for standing there- I told him early on that I wasn't interested. I kept listening because, as I explained- I was nackered, and I felt vulnerable. I also said that I appreciated that this was something I clearly needed to work on.

I really don't think that responding 'FFS' or telling me I was wasting the doorstepper's time is fair. He knew I wasn't interested from 20 seconds in. I knew he was determined to keep me there from 20 seconds in. If DH had been home I would've been more inclined to tell him to sod off but I wasn't feeling brave that day.

I'm sure I'm not the first and I won't be the last.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 04/04/2017 21:38

I complained to MacMillan after one of their doorstep collectors convinced my partially sighted 86 year old mother to sign up to a £10 a month direct debit. It's obvious she can hardly see and I was disgusted they thought it was acceptable to sign her up.

I answered the door to the last chugger and sent him on his way empty handed as usual. When I'd shut the door DH told me he'd already told him we weren't interested when he knocked earlier! If I'd known the cheeky sod would have got an earful!

I did talk to the Jehovahs Witnesses for about 15 minutes once. It was chucking it down with rain, I was indoors and they were getting soaked on the doorstep.

user1489261248 · 04/04/2017 22:14

They really annoy me too, and my particular pet peeve is the animal charities who start their spiel with 'do you like animals?' WTF? Confused Who doesn't like animals FGS?

What I find annoying about charity collectors is

  1. They pick on the vulnerable and elderly (some elderly people have been found to have half their income going out to charities.)

  2. The charity collectors only do it for their commission and not because they care about the charity.

  3. They're manipulative and will try and keep people cornered (in the street or at their door.) Even though some people are saying 'just say no and cut them off,' some people cannot do this.

I used to give to quite a few charities, (had 5 or 6 DD's, and gave lots of my stuff to the charity shops,) but I couldn't care less about charities now. I find many of them don't give most of the money to the cause they are supposedly collecting it for, too many people at the top of the company cream off loads of money for themselves, and the price of many of the goods in the charity shops now are a piss-take.

IMO they are greedy. They get the stuff given to them, they get cheap rent and cheap rates, and they don't have to pay staff, yet with many items, they charge more than you would pay new. And that is in addition to them being manipulative and cunning when sending out the chuggers!

HecateAntaia · 04/04/2017 23:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Meekonsandwich · 05/04/2017 00:08

I find a polite "how much does the CEO and managing directors of this charity make?" Usually works.

Or "do they have company cars?"

Dh works for a skip company and you would clutch your pearls at how Much sell able stuff charities throw out, bracelets, cards, pins, things they've designed and paid for and then not had the storage space for or have made a new design and they literally just chuck the old stuff into skips.

I'm looking at you rspca.

dangerrabbit · 05/04/2017 00:21

I ask though the door "who is it?"
They normally say "just a quick call about x charity."
I say "no thanks." No need to open the door.

Sometimes they don't explain what they want properly, then I just say "I don't want to buy anything thanks." They find it disconcerting that I don't answer the door so I haven't found them to stick around.

EnormousTiger · 05/04/2017 06:35

I can understand people who get kept for ages. One of my sons sometimes gives these people time. Itu is just the British way to be welcoming but it's a mistake as I keep telling my sons. As sono as a salesman thinks they are in with a chance they go on and on. So the secret if you answer the door to them as I do (I always answer the door) is just to be very quick as soon as you see it's one of these people. I always smile and I say "I am afraid I don't buy at the door" or something like that and then close the door quickly. It is very disrupting. I spend the day when not on mumsnet concentrating on very complicated contracts (am a lawyer) and in fact today I got up at 6am to get started before interruptions start and just being called off something you are really working on (and this is equally applicable if you are bathing the baby and toddler or breastfeeding) is incredibly disruptive. I would ban all door to door selling in the UK actually. In about 2015 we updated the law on this kind of selling but it is certainly not banned.

HumpMeBogart · 05/04/2017 08:00

Am I the only one who's never had anyone knock at my door trying to sell me something??

MiaowTheCat · 05/04/2017 08:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ginmakesitallok · 05/04/2017 08:20

Last night while I was bathing dd2 dp answered the door to 2 charity collectors. He's too soft and much nicer than me so stood listening to them for 15 minutes. I came down and just said that we didn't donate to cold callers, one had the cheek to smugly state that she understood and that's why they weren't there to take donations. I replied that that was ok then, and shut the door. Felt guilty all night for being rude.

WhatALoadOfOldBollocks · 05/04/2017 08:44

So much Britishness Wink And so much confusing "assertive" with "aggressive/rude". There is absolutely nothing wrong with speaking to someone through a closed door to find out who they are and what they want before deciding whether or not to open it. Or telling them you're not interested and shutting the door in their face if they don't move off your doorstep.

I live alone and get a bit of a shock when there's a knock on the door, especially at night, and I don't appreciate being disturbed either. My evenings are for relaxing, not doorstep negotiations with complete strangers.

Casschops · 05/04/2017 08:47

Answer the door in your birthday suit Smile

WhatALoadOfOldBollocks · 05/04/2017 08:53

Saying that I did buy something from a door to door salesman many years ago. He was a new one-man start up selling really nice reflective house numbers and I happened to be after a sign. I liked it so much that when I moved house some years later I bought from him again, and I was quite pleased to see his business had really grown.

Another time I answered the door to a JW and was having a great conversation with her for half an hour, putting the world to rights. We wrapped up the convo and noticed we'd agreed on everything apart from the religeon part (I'm an atheist) which was nice Smile. Normally I just tell them I'm not interested, that if I get the urge to find god I know where to find them, and ask them to put my house on the "avoid" list. Tends to work.

TinfoilHattie · 05/04/2017 08:57

I have complained to a charity about this in the past - think it was either Marie Curie or Macmillan but I forget which. Their fundraiser was very rude and pushy and wouldn't take no for an answer, when I finally shut the door she shouted "obviously you don't care about people with cancer".

I am a charity volunteer - I spent 8 hours a week at least in my local Oxfam shop. I do not charge the charity for my time and think the work Oxfam does is very important. I know how tough fundraising can be and it's getting harder all the time. But I am completely against knocking door to door or accosting people in the street. Should be banned.