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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - to think my DH has finally lost the plot!

41 replies

HarHer · 03/04/2017 08:40

My DH and I have been living apart for two years. I live with our two teenage sons under quite challenging circumstances (they both have additional needs). I work from home and DH visits with his washing and woes on a daily basis.

Basically, my DH has got in touch with a quirky 'friend'. The friend has encourage DH to pay him a small fee to produce an e-book about aliens and assured him that it will make DH a small fortune. My DH has now constructed an 'alien village' out of bits of tin foil, gold paint and scrap and texted me last night to say he was taking pictures of his village in the local park as a front cover for his 'book'. He added that he has had to keep 'dodging' people in the park who have been giving him funny looks.
The 'friend' believes emphatically that he was abducted by aliens and my DH now thinks he shared the experience.

AIBU in thinking (a) my DH has finally lost his marbles;

(b) if he is not experiencing some sort of mental breakdown, he should stop arsing about with tin foil and paint pots and get a job so he can support his family?

OP posts:
Allthebestnamesareused · 03/04/2017 08:50

I seriously had a quick look to see if this was posted on Saturday morning (1 April).

First you sound as bonkers as him if he has lived apart for 2 years but he still brings his washing to you!

Secondly, he has been duped by his friend into handing over cash!

Thirdly, he is going to get himself into all sorts of trouble if people are openly perturbed that he is taking pictures in the park. Hopefully not of small children playing there!!!

If this is a wind up - you're 2 days too late!

tinglyfing · 03/04/2017 09:00

If this is real and you are concerned then you need to have a serious chat with him to see how his state of mind is. Get advice from mental health professionals.

SquinkiesRule · 03/04/2017 09:00

He has lost the plot.

dowhatnow · 03/04/2017 09:07

Pictures in the park for a fictional story - ok.
Actually believing he was abducted - stark staring bonkers.

CasperGutman · 03/04/2017 09:09

You've been separated for two years and you still let him bring his washing round. YABU for this alone. Have you lost the plot too?

MrsMeeseeks · 03/04/2017 09:12

What Caspar said. Never mind the aliens.

MamaLazarou · 03/04/2017 09:14

Does he not have running water at his place?

floraeasy · 03/04/2017 09:15

Sounds like a Walter Mitty type. This could be his form of escapism from the harshness of life, where other men would choose alcohol or whatever.

Could be entertaining on occasion, but ultimately frustrating for you trying to get him to act like an adult.

I don't know what to suggest, really! His friend seems to have quite an influence on him - more than you do it seems.

Perhaps you could work the alien thing into what you want him to do. For instance, make up a backstory about how you have heard the best aliens (you know, the green ones with the pointy ears) are amazing providers for their families. Grin

VeryButchyRestingFace · 03/04/2017 09:17

Fuck the aliens.

Tell him to stop bringing his washing round.

HecateAntaia · 03/04/2017 09:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Trifleorbust · 03/04/2017 09:21

The washing Confused

He sounds unstable. I would be encouraging him to visit his GP and the bagwash

southall · 03/04/2017 09:27

When did your DH tell you all this?
April the 1st by any chance?

TheFirstMrsDV · 03/04/2017 09:31

I can't get past you looking after your two boys with SN and doing his washing while he fucks about in a park with tinfoil

TheFirstMrsDV · 03/04/2017 09:34

While I am here.

Is it passed or past? I used to think I knew but now I am never sure.

Sorry OP.

Oldraver · 03/04/2017 09:35

What Mrs DV said...

Does he just use your machine or what ?

Eatingcheeseontoast · 03/04/2017 09:39

TheFirstMrsDV past I'm fairly sure....without googling.

HecateAntaia · 03/04/2017 09:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NerrSnerr · 03/04/2017 09:42

Why is he your dear/ darling husband if you haven't been living together for 2 years? Surely he's your ex?

I'm also stuck on the fact that he brings his washing round.

SparklyMagpie · 03/04/2017 09:45

I just can't believe you do his washing!!

Flowerfae · 03/04/2017 09:46

Tell him to sod off and do his own washing, you are not his mother.
Make sure he doesn't start building mountains out of mashed potato like the man in close encounters of the third kind.

HardcoreLadyType · 03/04/2017 09:57

Passed is the past participle of the verb "to pass" (as in "she passed her exams").

Past is a noun (as in "he went past") or sometimes an adjective (as in "times past").

In your case, its a noun. It's the thing you can't get.

(Happy to be corrected - I love this stuff. Sad, I know.)

LordRothermereBlackshirtCunt · 03/04/2017 09:57

Are you writing a novel? This all sounds very odd.

Original poster
HarHer · 03/04/2017 09:57

Thank you,

The friend he lives with is 77 and a bit set in his ways, so DH brings his washing round. I never really had a problems with this, his smalls etc just went in with everything else. However, the whole 'alien' thing has sort of made me question whether I am inadvertently encouraging him to escape all his responsibilities (caring for the boys, earning a living and doing his laundry, for example) and allowing him to drift into this strange fictional world.

I have no problem with anyone pursuing creative interests, but DH is convinced this 'book' will make him a lot of money and I feel this is very unrealistic.

The 'ex' thing is something I am coming to terms with.

OP posts:
MrsMeeseeks · 03/04/2017 09:58

The friend he lives with is 77 and a bit set in his ways, so DH brings his washing round.

Clear as mud.

HecateAntaia · 03/04/2017 10:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.