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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - to think my DH has finally lost the plot!

41 replies

HarHer · 03/04/2017 08:40

My DH and I have been living apart for two years. I live with our two teenage sons under quite challenging circumstances (they both have additional needs). I work from home and DH visits with his washing and woes on a daily basis.

Basically, my DH has got in touch with a quirky 'friend'. The friend has encourage DH to pay him a small fee to produce an e-book about aliens and assured him that it will make DH a small fortune. My DH has now constructed an 'alien village' out of bits of tin foil, gold paint and scrap and texted me last night to say he was taking pictures of his village in the local park as a front cover for his 'book'. He added that he has had to keep 'dodging' people in the park who have been giving him funny looks.
The 'friend' believes emphatically that he was abducted by aliens and my DH now thinks he shared the experience.

AIBU in thinking (a) my DH has finally lost his marbles;

(b) if he is not experiencing some sort of mental breakdown, he should stop arsing about with tin foil and paint pots and get a job so he can support his family?

OP posts:
NerrSnerr · 03/04/2017 10:00

His laundry is his problem- if he can't do it at his house then he can do it at the laundrette. It's not your problem. Does he do any care for your boys? It sounds like he's having his cake and eating it- best of both worlds. He's living apart from you, not contributing to the family while you still do stuff for him.

HCantThinkOfAUsername · 03/04/2017 10:04

Is acting like this out of character for him?
All seems really strange.

Hesdeadjim · 03/04/2017 10:11

I think the state of your relationship is important here.

Why are you living apart OP? If this is something you've instigated it could be affecting his mental health maybe? Relationship breakdowns are a really strong trigger for a lot of MH issues.

Either that or he's just excited about a new project and it will pass when he realises it's not going to go anywhere and he'll have learned a lesson about giving away cash..

JaneEyre70 · 03/04/2017 10:15

God how weird?! It sounds funny but in honesty I'd be a bit concerned....your DH sounds very vulnerable and this friend of his sounds anything but a friend.....
Can you try talking your worries through with him? Explain you'd like some help rather than him terrifying the locals in the park?

Nousernameforme · 03/04/2017 10:18

Have some people broken up early for easter?

HardcoreLadyType · 03/04/2017 10:21

Do you want to be married to him?

If so, get some marriage counselling, and work it out, together, with a view to him moving back in with the family.

If not, start getting tough. He does his own washing, and finds someone else to listen to his woes.

This situation is not good for anyone but him.

DontSayIt · 03/04/2017 10:37

Sounds too far-fetched to be anything but true!

The OP has a lovely way with words too.

The book sounds quite a good idea to be honest! Could even make him some money.

However thinking he has been abducted by aliens ... yes does sound 'mad' at worst and an escape from responsibilities, just as you say. Have a serious talk with him when he's calm?

NeedsAsockamnesty · 03/04/2017 10:46

Are,you actually separated or just residing in different households but together?

pilates · 03/04/2017 10:48

Op, are you saying your DH has been living away for two years and not provided for his children?

floraeasy · 03/04/2017 10:58

DH to pay him a small fee to produce an e-book about aliens

What is the fee for, exactly?

Is your DH a good writer? Have you seen any of his work?

I hope he hasn't lost the plot, as a plot is surely an important part of any book? Wink

TheFirstMrsDV · 03/04/2017 11:31

Thanks all Smile

OP this daft mucking about in parks sounds like he is indeed avoiding his responsibilities.
He isn't helping you with your boys
He isn't earning a living
He isn't even doing his own washing.

He sounds like your flaky teenage son not your husband.
Now you are taking on the responsibility of sorting out his behaviour.

you.are.not.his.mum.or.dad.

floraeasy · 04/04/2017 14:45

What are you going to do, OP?

Any update to this?

xStefx · 04/04/2017 14:53

That isn't a husband, its another child ....
OP is this really the kind of marriage you want?
Yes I believe he was abducted by aliens and they must have taken his brain out and all sense of responsibility

HCantThinkOfAUsername · 05/04/2017 18:06

How is he doing now?

UnbornMortificado · 05/04/2017 18:12

Is there any MH problems at play?

I sympathise my DH has schizophrenia. He's been stable a while but when he starts discussing Russia and war ships I know he needs his medication checked out.

Bananalanacake · 05/04/2017 18:22

Why doesn't he work, has he been signed off sick? He should be paying towards his DC but I'm sure you know that.

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