Friend claiming benefits and don't have the kids?

[laughwithmeleelee]

Hi...need some advice for a good friend.

He is struggling to make ends meet since him and his wife split up..they are on reasonable talking terms and it was an amicable split. She kept rented house and he moved into a new rented house and has zero money. He works full time and still has no money due to bills to pay etc

She seems to have a fortune due to benefits paid to her as she is a single mum, totally above board and obviously entitled to it, they have 3 children who he has half the time, literally the time split in two, in fact he probably has the kids more than she does. However she gets all the money and he gets nothing? Personally I don't see how that's fair, if they share custody why does the mum get all the benefits?

Is there anything he can do?

If he has them for half the time he shouldn't be paying any CM.

The DLA is meant to improve the quality of life for the disabled child and the extra costs involved. This could mean equipment, special food, extra laundry costs, extra heating costs. Surely the dad incurs these same expenses for the 50% of the time the children are with him, so at the very least he should get half of the DLA.

If your friend is having the children for 50% of the overnights then he shouldn't pay any maintenance. If they don't stay overnight then CMS don't class it as a reduction, it is literally the sleeping over only that they care about. My exH used to only have our then toddlers 7.30pm - 7.30am, not provide them with any food, drink or clothing and they STILL classed that as a full reduction 😡

if they do have genuine 50/50 shared care then they could split the child benefit claim so one parent claims for one child and the other claims for the other 2. this would mean he could claim tax credits (presuming he is under the threshold which he may not be)they would need to look at this as obv if he is not entitled to tax credits then it's not really worth them changing the cb claim

Op the threshold for claiming for one child is around £26k so if his income is below that it might be worth him speaking to his ex about claiming for one.

She seems to have a fortune due to benefits paid to her as she is a single mum

I must be doing something wrong then.

How is your friend having them 50% of the overnights if he works full time?

We would need to know a little bit more than where the kids sleep 50% of the time. We would need to know who is paying for their food and their school trips and their shoes. We would need to know who is paying for the extra expenses brought on by the child's disability. We would need to know who takes time off when a child is sick. We would need to know if the mother's ability to work is impaired e.g. by the child's physio/hospital appointments/therapy/whatever needed is scheduled on her days. If the child receives DLA then presumably they need a fair bit of support and support comes expensive. Who covers those expenses?

How is your friend having them 50% of the overnights if he works full time? The Op has already said that the father works shifts 2 on 2 off and has the children when he is off. But thats beside the point, how does working full time exclude you from having your children 50% of the time. How the hell do all those single parents (myself included at one point) who worked full time manage to then have our children full time when there is no other parent on the scene?

The lady in question is not getting such a large amount because she is a single mum, but rather because she has 3 children , one of them being disabled which boosts the benefits greatly with disability premiums and the actual DLA itself.

If someone is entirely reliant on benefit, each additional child will bring in another £75- £80 a week in benefits even without any additions for disability.

There is a benefit cap

It doesn't justnowords. I know. I used to work FT myself before I was left single and with ill health. It's just no matter how good a friend the OPs friend is. I dont think what he is saying should be taken at face value.

My Ex works shifts. 5 on 5 off. He tells his gf and his friends he has shared custody of the kids and he does 50/50 childcare. He's had them overnight three times since last summer. So I'm a little sceptical. Even your friends lie to you sometimes.

And having a disabled child excludes a family being affected by the benefits cap Portias.

it's the unfairness of having to pay child maintenance as well when he splits the time

As stated upthread, he doesn't have to pay child maintenance in those circumstances. If he is paying it, that is his choice. He should contact the child maintenance service to check his legal position.

I dont think what he is saying should be taken at face value. Based on what though? Because he is a man? Because you have one friend that appears to be a shitty dad? That seems more than a little unfair. We dont question the validity of op's whether they are telling the truth dependent upon what sex they are. OK thats not true, I see it on MN many times, don't agree with it though

The child tax credits and child benefit usually go to whoever is given as the main caregiver.

If your friend really is having them 50% of the time he needs to put in a counterclaim. A friend of mine ended up taking her 12yo sister in when her mum couldn't cope. It took several months to sort as their mum was still claiming for her. My friend got nothing in between time whilst it was proven who the 12yo was actually living with.

No justnowords. See my latest post. My friends Mum lied too. It's not a sex thing. Like I say, I openly admit to being sceptical in these scenarios.

If he is paying £300 a month , he is likely only coming out with around £1500 a month wages. If he is trying to feed and clothe 3 kids for half the time and paying rent with no help on £1200 a month then it is easy to see why he is struggling.

Exactly.

It seems obvious to me that in the case of a 50/50 split he shouldn't pay maintenance.

However, can we be sceptical? Yes. of course. These scenarios are always super complicated. But it seems like the mother has more than enough money and he hasn't...

Thanks for all your help, it does seem paying the CM seems unfair as I have said I can assure you 100% he has the kids 50/50 cause, he would have the kids full time if he could, it isn't about exaggerating how much he has them. He WANTS them as much as he can.

She is a fairly reasonable woman normally so after speaking to him this morning he said the general feel is he shouldn't be paying CM so he is gonna try and speak to her and sort it first, fingers crossed they can work something out.