Friend claiming benefits and don't have the kids?

[laughwithmeleelee]

Hi...need some advice for a good friend.

He is struggling to make ends meet since him and his wife split up..they are on reasonable talking terms and it was an amicable split. She kept rented house and he moved into a new rented house and has zero money. He works full time and still has no money due to bills to pay etc

She seems to have a fortune due to benefits paid to her as she is a single mum, totally above board and obviously entitled to it, they have 3 children who he has half the time, literally the time split in two, in fact he probably has the kids more than she does. However she gets all the money and he gets nothing? Personally I don't see how that's fair, if they share custody why does the mum get all the benefits?

Is there anything he can do?

Mombie2016 I'm quite prepared to accept I'm wrong, but what you are getting seems really low to me. I put the figures into here and that's what it came up with. Are you sure you are getting everything you are entitled to?

I have explained the child care please read the post before swearing and claiming I am
Giving false information on child care, IT IS SPLIT 50/50 2 days each on and off! So please "like fuck" it is split!

I understand the "gets a fortune" was a bit of exaggeration as said, but as there is no tax on benefits and he gets taxed she gets a lot more than he does, which as i said in my original post is fair and true! It's the child maintenance I don't think is right?

Mombie - Are you paying back an overpayment or is your current award being based on a much higher income form the last tax year. You don't seem to be getting the correct amount.

Op, he should not be paying child maintainence if the split is truly 50:50. he could equally ask for maintainence back from her !

Agree with Kitkat on this one.

As a single mum working p/t I had far more money due to benefits than ever I do now working full time & living with partner.

Heddagarbled every scenario is different, she is a lone parent with 3 kids and she gets a lot of support, this isn't a slanging match with her struggles she does an amazing job as a mum and he agrees and on that term they agree they are both great parents! She is 100 percent not down food banks etc she is doing ok for herself, it's the unfairness of having to pay child maintenance as well when he splits the time

If he has them 50% of the time he should at least get some of the DLA money which is meant to improve the disabled child's life and help with the extra costs that a disability brings. Presumably if the disabled child lives with him half the time he has similar costs ?

He is more than happy for all benefits to go her way and for to keep them as she is entitled to them but paying £300 maintenance as well seems a bit extreme?

He perhaps needs to seek advice, he shouldn't be paying CM if they share the care. Do they have a private agreement or go through the CMS? if it is the latter then he needs to inform them of the shared care asap and ask for the amount to be reviewed.

If he is paying £300 a month , he is likely only coming out with around £1500 a month wages. If he is trying to feed and clothe 3 kids for half the time and paying rent with no help on £1200 a month then it is easy to see why he is struggling.

I will find out; I am not sure how he pays but I will let him know! Thank you x

Yabu to say she is getting a fortune.

No one on benefits gets a fortune. Single mothers experience greater levels of poverty in fact.

He still pays a few direct debits for things in the house as well like TV and settee that were in instalment plans! Not all men are horrible guys he has done right but her in many ways x

If it is a private agreement between them and she will not reconsider the amount he pays then he should ask to go through the CMS. If he can then prove that care is 50:50, they will most likely say he does not need to pay.

Willyoujustbequiet i did say that it was wrongly exaggerated but she gets a fair amount for what she actually needs

Willy. With disability premiums on top as pp's have explained, it can add up to quite a lot which is good as having a disabled child is expensive.
When my dd was entitled to DLA many years ago for a short while I was amazed by how much extra we got in tax credts because she got DLA

Being devil's advocate here....

You're just hearing his side. How do you know its equally shared? If you don't live with him. How do you know he pays even?

My stbxh told everyone he was paying £1000 per month and had our dc half the week. He played the victim.

Truth of it was he hadn't seen or spoken to them in 6 months and I hadn't had a penny. Your friend won't be the first NRP to lie about their circumstances.

Not saying he is. Just saying that he may not have told you the whole truth.

My dd receives DLA baby. Its certainly not a fortune given the additional costs involved. Its also extremely difficult to get which would suggest a significant level of care/expense is required.

Three children, one disabled, no partner, not working. The picture shows the calculations from HMRC.

Trust me, I'm not snarking on benefits. We've been on tax credits for the last 20 years, which we literally couldn't have managed without (even with both of us working!) I'm just pointing out that it isn't exactly a small amount.

Actually if she is not working she will be getting a small fortune. According to HMRC website she would be entitled to £1023 child tax credits every 4 weeks (im not sure how accurate that figure is but i put 3 children, not working with 1 child on dla into hmrc website and that is the figure it gave me). Plus depending on dla rate she could be getting up to £450 every 4 weeks. Plus CB would amount to £200 every 4 weeks. Income Support would amount to £290 every 4 weeks. If she is not working she is possible also claiming Carers Allowance which is about £260 per 4 weeks. Adding in £300 a month maintenance would bring her total to £2523 and thats not including HB which is more than likely being paid if she is not working. I dont know where abouts you are but where I live average 3 bed house is about £600 a month. Again if she is not working, then she will probably get that paid for her. That adds up to a fairly hefty sum. In contrast, if your friend is paying her £300 a month cm i reckon he must be earning in the region of £1700 a month (on the basis he is paying the minimum recommended amount), less £300 would leave him £1400 whilst the mother is getting roughly £3,000 in various benefits. The figures speak for themselves really and is massively unfair if the childcare is split 50/50 down the line.

I'm a single parent of one disabled child. We get £418 per week in benefits (on top of housing benefit and council tax payment which is paid directly to the council). Tax credits makes up £150 of that as we get disabled premiums - it would be much lower for a non-disabled child. We don't need food banks but it''s definitely not a fortune and raising a severely disabled child is far more expensive and is much more limiting in terms of being able to work (I get carers allowance and income support as it's recognised that I'm not available for work, i.e. no work related activity requirements). I'm very well qualified and I'd be able to earn 3x that amount if I wasn't restricted by my caring responsibilities.

ExH has DS almost 50% of the time though so he doesn't pay maintenance and I think that's fair enough. The man in the OP should not be paying maintenance if it's true that he has the child more than 50% of the time. But as he works it isn't worth him trying to claim the tax credits as the award would be lower than the mum would get.

Pipswim based on your figures, its not unreasonable to believe that the woman in the op does get circa £3000 then given that she has three children as opposed to your one. Perhaps the man in the Op would get less tax credits than his exdp but crucially he would be getting them. I think what would be fairest, given that only one parent can claim the benefits but both are pitching in equally to care for the children, would be for the cb, tax credits, dla and carers allowance to be claimed by the mother (as she would be entitled to a larger amount) and then split accordingly so that both the man and the woman had the same amount of money taking into account his wages and her income support/housing & council tax benefits. At the moment it is grossly unfair to the father, as he is effectively having to raise his children on a third of what the mother is bringing in. However, i think it unlikely that the dm will want to share any of the financial benefits received for the children, even if it is detrimental to their wellbeing 50% (or more as the OP states) of the time.

Just - I don't think it would be quite as much as you quote as carers allowance would be taken off income support, but even still it is a huge amount considering she only has the kids half the week. And of course grossly unfair to the dad who also has them half the week and presumably incurs the same additional costs of caring for a disabled child.

How on earth does someone spend £2.5 k every 4 weeks with no rent and little council tax to pay and kids only half the week?

Why would he need to pay her cm if he has the kids more than 50% of the time?

because very few separated parents live in separated parent utopia?

Why would the costs of a child be split 50/50 when the parents don't earn the same, for example? In a relationship, if a parent earning £60K demanded the one earning £20k paid exactly half the cost of bringing up joint children, there would be screams of abuse and LTB.

Because some parents need childcare whilst the other doesn't leaving one parent paying full time childcare they don't use half the time but have to pay for to keep the spaces open?

I went through a period of 50/50 with my ex. All that meant is he fed them of an evening and in the morning. All clothes, school uniform, haircuts, shoes, school lunches, school trips, childcare, time off work for illness, routine appointments etc. etc. were paid for by me.

Because 50/50 rarely means that. In fact, I would hazard a guess that 50/50 is frequently used as a means by which one parent is able to abuse the other.