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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To expect an answer to this text

28 replies

wineoclockthanks · 02/04/2017 11:45

'Hi X. Thank you for having DS1 tonight (sleepover). Have a lovely holiday and look forward to hearing all about it when you get home.'

I'm really not very good at text etiquette I tend to text as I would speak e.g.

Hi X. Would be lovely to see you, fancy a coffee at Y cafe next Tues or Wed? Hope everyone including your cat, neighbour, best friend..... (you get the picture) are well. Xx

Whereas what I often get from people is

'Coffee, Cafe Y 3pm Tues?'

Which if I'm honest I find a bit rude Blush

Very happy to be told that I am being totally old fashioned unreasonable Grin

OP posts:
WarwickDavisAsPlates · 02/04/2017 11:52

Yeah sorry if I received that text message I wouldn't think I had to answer it. At most I might send a quick "no probs we enjoyed having him. See you when we get back." Message.

It probably just depends why you text people. I've got a friend who texts to chat, while I only text to arrange something so my texting style would be more like the one you would consider "rude".

I'd say neither is right or wrong, just different styles.

Ginkypig · 02/04/2017 11:53

I'm like you but Iv sort of accepted that I'm mostly not the same as most others. Most people shorten txts as much as possible but not all of them do the y, u, gr8, thing which really annoys me.

I'd initially find that txt rude(ish) too but then I'd shrug it off and get excited about nice company and cake Grin

TreeTop7 · 02/04/2017 11:54

I know what you mean, but texts are supposed to be brief. I'd use email or messenger for something longer.

5moreminutes · 02/04/2017 12:07

No, that text at the top of your op doesn't sound as though it requires or expects an answer.

I text in full sentences too but that's just a thank you for a minor thing which will probably be reciprocated text. If they answer, then presumably unless they only write "You're welcome" you answer their answer, it dragon and becomes an open ended small talk text dialogue.
You'll be penpals before you know it Wink

5moreminutes · 02/04/2017 12:08

*drags on not dragon 🐉

haveacupoftea · 02/04/2017 12:10

That text doesnt require a response. Though these days that message would usually be sent via whatsapp and you'd get a kissy face emoji back Grin

Universitychallenging · 02/04/2017 12:11

I wouldn't think to answer that and if I did i would probably just say "no probs"

GoodyGoodyGumdrops · 02/04/2017 12:16

I think it is a bit of an old gimmerish thing. I'll bet you never cared to text before smartphones, when you had to press the 2 button three times to get a letter C. I know I didn't! Now that I have a proper qwerty keyboard I burble away happily.

The first text IMO doesn't need a reply. If it was from a friend of mine I might just reply with a smiley.

The reply to the second text, well, I think I'd assume they were busy and rushed off a quick reply rather than make you wait.

FrancisCrawford · 02/04/2017 12:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Asmoto · 02/04/2017 12:18

No, I wouldn't - you've said you look forward to hearing about their holiday when they get home - as recipient, I'd take that to mean you weren't expecting to hear from me again until I got back from my holiday.

picklemepopcorn · 02/04/2017 12:25

If I replied to that, it would be with a Smile. But I learned to text from a teen who thinks 'k' is a whole sentence.

wineoclockthanks · 02/04/2017 12:40

I had a feeling it was me Grin thanks (but I'm glad I'm not the only one!)

OP posts:
picklemepopcorn · 02/04/2017 12:45
Smile Wink
WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo · 02/04/2017 12:47

I use full sentences and punctuation in text messages. But I often end up in conversations and never know how to end them politely! It's the same with Facebook messenger. I'm rubbish at chit chat so it always feels a bit awkward. I'd much rather keep texts etc to a minimum and then talk properly in person :)

Anyway, I probably would reply to your text message. But it doesn't require one so if I'd sent it I wouldn't be disappointed not to receive one.

JonesyAndTheSalad · 02/04/2017 12:48

I would expect a quick "Thanks :D" or something. I also text in full sentences though.

wineoclockthanks · 02/04/2017 12:53

WarwickDavis is right, I see texting as 'chatting'

to Leslie , I still can only lurk on the tamoxigang thread but I am about.

OP posts:
reuset · 02/04/2017 12:57

I'd reply. I type in whole sentences too

daisypond · 02/04/2017 13:10

The top one doesn't need a response.
I write texts infrequently, and they would probably be in the category you consider rude. I don't have a smartphone, and it takes me a while just to get the basic info out. People I text, though, know that and aren't offended.

JonesyAndTheSalad · 02/04/2017 13:14

Daisy it does need a response because it's a thank you and some well wishes. Only a really rude person would ignore a thank you and a "have a good holiday" ffs.

All it takes is :D thanks! That's hardly backbreaking.

hmcAsWas · 02/04/2017 13:19

I hate texting because I am properly an old gimmer rather than a wannabe old gimmer like you wineoclockthanks Wink

So I can be slack with my timescale in responding to texts, and am certainly brief when I do because I do not want to encourage and endless back and forth text conversation. I would probably respond to your first text with a 'No problem x' , but it is conceivable that I would forget to respond

RitaMills · 02/04/2017 13:25

I would've answered 'Aw you're welcome, thank you x' I wouldn't have not said anything but it is a thing I've noticed with some people, I've become used to it but I wouldn't do it myself.

daisypond · 02/04/2017 13:30

I disagree. I don't think it's rude not to reply to the first one. That is a "finishing conversation" text, to my mind. The conversation is to be carried on "when you get home".

Bluntness100 · 02/04/2017 13:39

I'd respond to the first one, but I respond to everything as I feel not doing so is kinda rude and not acknowledging. I don't know anyone who doesn't though, even if it's just a thanks or a kiss.

I don't use text speak because my life isn't so busy that I can't spare the extra seconds to write it out properly,,,😂

Asmoto · 02/04/2017 13:47

I agree with Daisy - I'd take the first text as a signal not to reply (immediately), because it suggests the next point of contact being 'when you get home'. If it had just said 'Have a lovely holiday' I'd probably have replied 'Thank you'.

I don't use text speak either, and shy away from 'gushy' additions to texts such as 'x's on the end of messages - I see them as being to-the-point communications, and prefer to pick up the phone and speak if I want a chatty conversation.

WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo · 02/04/2017 14:21