My husband (not the father of my eldest two) and I have been together for 8 years.
For the last few years he has been sulky and moody and moans about lots of minor things. Usually he mutters under his breath but gets over it quite quickly. Generally he is quite lovely and would do anything for us/anyone.
Examples of his temper flaring include getting angry about the recycling not rinsed out to his standards or having to do the washing up (he does this twice a week as we have a rota). Nothing major.
Tonight though, he put the sauce in before the pasta when dishing out the dinner that I made. No big deal but he flipped. Threw the sauce all over the cooker and splash back, then threw the dish into the sink whilst shouting at me.
My 18yo (not his) heard and came out of her room. She witnessed him push me hard (first time he's done this but seemed as though he was going to hit me then changed his mind) As he was heading for the door she stepped in front of him and told him to never ever do that and to get out. There was a tussle and he shoved past her to grab my car keys. I said not to take the car whilst angry and he ripped the key cabinet off the wall and threw it down which missed me but caught my daughter's arm and cut it.
He left. He called about 20 minutes later to say he was coming back. I said should apologise for his behaviour as all the kids (18, 12 and 3) were upset and scared. He refused.
He came back and did apologise but my daughter was still very shaken and upset and the 12yo was crying. About sauce?!
It was ridiculous. I said that this kind of thing couldn't happen again but I'm wondering if perhaps I should end it now. I was in an abusive relationship with my previous husband and put up with it longer than was safe or healthy because I didn't want to fail at marriage. This time I'm not bothered. I just want to protect my kids from this kind of shit.
AIBU?
To Consider Ending My Marriage Over This?
Thisisthefirsttime · 01/04/2017 22:07
Great job raising your DD to be so strong and righteous. The world is in good hands with the likes of her to see us into the future. Now you start anew. 
I hope you bought your daughter a big tub of popcorn. She is amazing
Your daughter did something that was, actually, incredibly courageous of her. She stepped in front of a man whom she'd just witnessed shove/push her mother whilst looking like he was intending to punch her, instead (I know you said "hit", but c'mon... let's not minimise things, here! A "hit" is actually a punch!) and told him to get out.
She did that for one reason, and one reason alone.
To protect her mother.
To protect you.
He then not only shoved your incredibly brave daughter, but threw a key cabinet (which presumably he had to employ some force to get off the wall where it was mounted?) at you both. Not just at you, OP.
He threw it at your daughter, too.
And it hit her.
And it cut her.
Let me just repeat that... it cut her. Physically parted her skin and drew blood. You do realise that your daughter can have him arrested and charged for that, don't you? Because your husband assaulted her.
He assaulted your child.
After he assaulted you.
And you're asking if that is enough to end your marriage over?
If I were you, OP (and I have been in the past), I would have had a bag packed with his things waiting for him on the doorstep when he crawled back home, with a letter telling him that your solicitor and possibly the police would be in touch with him soon.
This man is vile, never mind abusive.
Talk to your children, OP. I'm willing to bet that they'll tell you about more incidents like this where they've witnessed his abusive behaviour - your older two will undoubtedly have been able to recognise the signs from your previous relationship with their father.
Protect them, as your oldest tried to protect you.
Well done OP for showing your children that physical abuse is not tolerated. Hope you had a decent nights sleep
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