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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To take baths with my daughter?

74 replies

PrincessJasmin · 01/04/2017 21:45

DD is 2.5. She has a bath most nights. Recently I've been jumping in with her, really just to get my hair washed - gets that particular chore out of the way, in all honesty. But she loves it when I bath with her. We play with her toys then I wash her hair, wash mine, shower us both off, and out we get.

DH has no issues, although says he wouldn't feel comfortable doing it himself.

However, my SIL and one of my friends gave me this look: when I mentioned it in conversation.

Is it wrong??? I mean it's not like she'll remember it and I'm not planning on doing it for much longer. Its just convenient, saves a bit of time, and to be honest it's nice at the end of a long day to have a laugh with her and play with her toys.

OP posts:

AYankinSpanx · 01/04/2017 22:26

What?! Um, yeah you're very much misguided hmm I NC for this because I had this conversation with my SIL today and I know she uses this site, but I've been here a while

Then you'll know that there have been many posts of this type pulled by admin and you'll appreciate exactly why I posted as I did.

Bubbinsmakesthree · 01/04/2017 22:28

I got out of the habit of having baths with DS in early toddlerhood (we used to bathe with him as a baby), but have recently restarted (he's 2.5) - I was having a bath during the day and he wanted to come in. It was one of the most lovely, bonding things we've done in ages so it's become a regular thing. It is very 'intimate' but in a completely natural, appropriate way. I definitely feel I was missing out before!

sirfredfredgeorge · 01/04/2017 22:28

Astro55 Ah, well, that's why DD only gets in after she's read her book, she also goes in the tap end and adds a tiny bit of cold which stays down that end.

Mostly though her choice is get used to a normal bath temperature or stay out of the bath!

You are right it's a reason. We certainly have it full depth though.

Original poster

PrincessJasmin · 01/04/2017 22:29

I said I've been here a while. I didn't say I spent every waking moment on here keeping a mental log of threads which appear regularly and on what days.

OP posts:

applecatchers36 · 01/04/2017 22:30

Of course not it is a lovely, natural, normal thing to do with your child. Enjoy it while they are little and you can.

sniffle12 · 01/04/2017 22:35

ClaireH26 I love the phrase 'naked house'

I grew up in a 'naked house' - obviously not around the whole house, all the time, but I mean quite comfortably walking around the bathroom/bedrooms naked or part-naked when we were all showering or getting ready. I do think it gave me a good attitude to bodies and body confidence in general - the body is something beautiful and natural, especially if it's just in the context of the family environment.

Then again I have had friends (probably like your SIL) who recoil in horror at the thought of open nakedness and wouldn't even let their mother/friends/other women in a changing room get a glimpse of anything even now.

AYankinSpanx · 01/04/2017 22:36

I said I've been here a while. I didn't say I spent every waking moment on here keeping a mental log of threads which appear regularly and on what days

Of course. In that case, I hope that I've clarified why I posted as I did. There have been a series of very similar threads that have turned out to be created purely to get people posting about bathing with their children.

I'm sure you understand that's perfectly reasonable to flag that up.

SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 01/04/2017 22:37

DS (6) will still come in and hijack my baths and showers. I'm happy as long as he's happy, it's his choice.

I wasn't happy today when he came in as I started showering and sat on the toilet for the duration of most of my shower, filling the room with a most unholy stench! (Other toilets are available ) Plus the water was distinctly tepid following his epic bath earlier. Hmph!

Original poster

PrincessJasmin · 01/04/2017 22:37

Ok, so report it then.

OP posts:

GoodDayToYou · 01/04/2017 22:43

I didn't grow up in a particularly 'naked' house but think this all sounds perfectly healthy, normal and actually, quite lovely. I really don't know why your sil & friend would have a problem with it. Perhaps they need to get out more?

AYankinSpanx · 01/04/2017 22:44

Ok, so report it then

I already have.

Given my pro-offered apology if I'm wrong and an explanation of why I'm concerned, I'm slightly baffled by your hostility.

Anyway, enjoy your evening, OP.

Dagnabit · 01/04/2017 22:52

I bathed with my dc when they were younger when dd was 5 and ds 3....they'll ask now but we can't all fit it comfortably! plus I like hot water and mn on my iPad

Nothing wrong with it at all.

AllPizzasGreatAndSmall · 01/04/2017 23:00

The only unreasonable thing is washing your hair in a 3 year old's bath water.

AllPizzasGreatAndSmall · 01/04/2017 23:01

Sorry 2.5 yo.

Original poster

PrincessJasmin · 01/04/2017 23:02

I don't. I use the shower to rinse.

OP posts:

Blossomdeary · 01/04/2017 23:02

How could it be wrong?

Anyway you are saving water!

MrsHarveySpecterV · 01/04/2017 23:11

I think it's lovely. DD (2) hijacks DH's bath most nights. In fact she follows him round saying "Daddy bath" as soon as he gets home from work

TomaytoTomahto · 01/04/2017 23:29

Back in Japan, we have public hot springs where people get stark naked rinse off, and then go sit in the baths together. Yes, still naked. I've been there with my mum, relatives, friends, colleagues, etc.

Wonder what your SIL and your mate would think of that!

GladAllOver · 01/04/2017 23:35

Perfectly normal and fun.
I feel sorry for anyone who thinks there is anything wrong with bathing with one's children.

DragonNoodleCake · 01/04/2017 23:36

I did it with my kids when they were young - it is fine

Tumtitum · 01/04/2017 23:43

Totally fine

Cocklodger · 02/04/2017 00:30

Some of the best memories I have with my mum - we bathed together until I was around 8 or 9 I think (we were both short ha ha) and up until i left home (16) I'd go and sit on the toilet and we would chat while she bathed.
I was one of siblings, one with SN who obviously needed lots of attention. It was lovely to spend time with her alone and enjoy bonding.
I don't get the issue when she's only 2! I think when they're old enough to be uncomfortable about it or for you to be uncomfortable about it, you're doing just fine.
YANBU

justnowords · 02/04/2017 00:35

No issue at all. Ds is 6 and still jumps in the shower with me. I mean i try to sneak off and have a shower in peace but if he hears the water running, he can strip in 2 seconds flat and just come in uninvited. He has recently started asking why my bum and belly is flabby and stripey but I think of this as conditioning him that this is fairly normal for women.

Crumbs1 · 02/04/2017 00:43

We always did I tried to sneak in me time bath but somehow one or other would climb in. Mine love back scrubbing or hair washing until about 8/9 but still sat paddling feet and chatting well into teens. Nowadays it's time in the hot tub but serves the same purpose of closeness and conversation.

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