AIBU Not to have announced my DF passed away

[TheCatsWhiskers]

My DF passed away a few months ago.

He was never on Facebook and would have hated his death to have been announced on it.

A friend recently told me that I was a cold and unfeeling person for not posting about his illness and passing.

Apparently, according to her, I have issues as I didn't let my Facebook community know. So I have denied them helping my family and I.

This is bonkers, right?

My family and friends all know what happened. I just didn't have the time or i inclination to post on my fathers rapid decline.

She has also got said that I have avoidance issues as I never took a picture of my DF when he was in his last days.

so sorry for your loss! too many people are obsessed with Facebook these days 😞 not everything needs to be shared for everyone to see! wouldn't let it bother you xx

Some people love their whole lives on fb and expect everyone else to do the same! Awful behaviour!
Yanbu!
I'm sorry for your loss x

fb's bizarre. Kids these days don't go near it.

YAmost def NBU!

My Dad's step mum passed away last week. He went to the hospital in her final moments, along with her own children and grandchildren.

He was horrified when as soon as it was 'over' they all stepped outside and immediately whipped out their phones to post to Facebook

So my cousins all found out via Facebook that she had passed. They then posted their upset at finding out this way. Which would have THEN been how I found out had my Mum not called 5 minutes before I checked my Facebook. Madness.

My stepdad died a couple of weeks ago. Why the fuck would we put it on Facebook? Poor guy is still in the undertakers fridge awaiting the funeral date, which will be almost a month after his death as this was the earliest slot. Your "friend" can fuck off to the far side of fuck.i hope you told them what you thought of their comment.

I wonder if Facebook will die out.

It is true that most teenagers wouldn't be seen dead on it. I remember when my now 18 year old was 12, he was desperate to have a FB account once he was 13. Now, it would be the last thing on social media he'd use.

YANBU. Friend sounds very insensitive.

If you'd announced it on Facebook & posted pictures of him in his final days I'd have assumed you were an attention-seeking twat..... YANBU.

Tell her DFOD what a selfish, ignorant, attention seeking bitch.

Can't think of anything worse than everything single thing she spouted out. It's nothing to do with her or bloody 'Facebook community'. Jesus I have heard it all now. Facebook community? The more I hear the more I want nothing to do with it.

Tell her she is a selfish self centres cow and to stay away from you. Who the hell puts photos of dying relatives on Facebook?? what the hell happened to dignity and empathy and frigging common sense?

Thanks everyone, and for everyone who has lost someone.

Glad that it's not just me who thinks she is a complete idiot. Safe to say that she is now an ex-friend!

You did not give her the chance to appear sympathetic and get praise for being that way op. It's all about her and attention whoring.

Glad she is an ex friend, it's no one's right to tell you how to grieve

She's clearly given you an indication that she's someone you need to delete on Facebook! Of course you don't need to post notices of people's death.

That said, our neighbour died (after six months in a home) and the family didn't tell anyone at all. Nobody got to say goodbye or pay respects to someone who had been a neighbour to some of us for 40-60 years. We all live in small farms, so not your typical neighbour, but still someone you'd stop and chat with regularly. I found that strange.

So sorry for your loss. Your 'friend' was way out of line.

To add to the chorus of non-FB posters, I didn't mention my dad's death last year on FB either. It just didn't feel appropriate in my circumstances for a number of reasons. And it was a private bereavement that I didn't want to share.

Having said that, several FB friends have posted about bereavements and I can see that it's important for them to do it.

There's no right or wrong for those that have been bereaved. The hangers-on and other people who make it all about them are always wrong, though.

Sorry for your loss

You are respecting your DFs wishes by not announcing his death on FB. My mum has been ill recently and she would be mortified if I posted anything about her illness on FB. Not everyone wants everyone to know their business. This isn't to say that people who do make death announcements on FB are wrong but everyone is entitled to deal with bereavement and grief on their own way.

A friend recently told me that I was a cold and unfeeling person for not posting about his illness and passing

she is NOT a friend, she is an insensitive thoughtless twat with zero emotional intelligence. TRIM, and ignore her. forever

I am so sorry for your loss OP

It makes me feel sick how some people use awful things and grief for attention on Facebook. Even worse when really it basically nothing to do with them!

What a sad world we live in.

I'm sorry for your loss, OP (and others)

No, Facebook is not real life, people only use it to boast & gain attention. Good for you, stick to what your father would have wanted. She just sounds like she's sad she missed some FB sympathy.

Sorry for your loss