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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Vegan babysitter?

74 replies

IsithormonesoramIamadcow · 01/04/2017 10:58

AIBU to ask vegan babysitter to serve my kids meat/dairy? Will of course leave suitable snacks for her. I don't expect her to prepare anything (think cheese/ham sandwiches) if you are a vegan what would you think?

OP posts:

aurynne · 01/04/2017 13:26

I wouldn't expect anyone's dietary choices to affect how she does her job unless she has specified in advance that she would not do certain things.

I would expect any babysitter to prepare and serve the food she is told to prepare and serve. Surely anyone who chooses a moral option has to accept not everyone shares her opinion or her ethics?

emmyrose2000 · 01/04/2017 13:59

You don't have to make your kids vegan to suit them

I concur.

It wouldn't even cross my mind to let someone else's food choices dictate or influence my child's eating habits (or mine). I'd just feed/leave my kids their normal food.

If the babysitter complains about it, get another babysitter.

Lotalota · 01/04/2017 14:43

I think that as an employer you are free to ask her to prepare meat. If feels it doesn't fit with her morals then she is free not to take the job.

lizzieoak · 01/04/2017 15:03

Lauren, you use a knife & fork on a burger? Is that common?

As to your Vegan sitter, if it was in my home I personally wouldn't want to prepare meat. Someone else's home - she's certainly limiting her client base if she won't do it. But equally, your kids would be fine on vegan food.

LaContessaDiPlump · 01/04/2017 17:35

I think if you're vegan, providing personal care for others is probably not an ideal profession.

Do you mean in terms of practicality or in terms of the ethical stance, Jiggly?

ollieplimsoles · 01/04/2017 17:38

all the vegans I know are very keen to tell people

BOOM!

maisyanddaisy · 01/04/2017 17:42

I'm vegetarian and while I think raw meat is pretty gross I wouldn't have a problem preparing it. I'm not that keen on shit and puke either but if I was babysitting I would still change nappies or mop up sick. You are being very thoughtful getting her vegan snacks - I'm sure she won't be expecting that (if she's normal).

roarityroar · 01/04/2017 17:43

Why doesn't she just get a grip ? She's your staff and doesn't have to be there if she doesn't

Str4ngedaysindeed · 01/04/2017 17:44

To be honest, more non vegans are keener to tell vegans how much they would miss meat than vegans I know (including me) going on about being vegan. I am almost embarrassed to admit I am a vegan as the flack I get is at best annoying, at worst downright rude and hurtful. None of my family are vegan and i will cook meat for them - and yet I still get laughed at for not eating it! It gets a bit dull after a while

AtrociousCircumstance · 01/04/2017 17:47

Obviously if she is working for you then the work is about your choices with regards to food.

As others have said, either she only works for vegans or she behaves in a professional manner with non vegans.

Maxwellthecat · 01/04/2017 17:58

But she hasn't even said anything. Nothing has happened. The babysitter isn't being unreasonable in the slightest as she hasn't even done anything, this is a total none issue.

HookandSwan · 01/04/2017 19:34

Are you meaning a nanny? As she should not be bringing her perosnal diet into the job she is doing.

A babysitter is paid to watch your kids while your out in the evening and if you want the "babysitter to give them food" you can prob preprepare.

JigglyTuff · 01/04/2017 20:11

LaContessa - the former. If you won't prepare food/use medication/treatments that the person you're caring for wants/needs (and let's not get into a row about need here!), then you're probably not the right person for the job.

I morally object to the arms trade. I wouldn't go for a job where that was an issue.

LaContessaDiPlump · 01/04/2017 22:20

Jiggly I see, and agree that it would probably be fraught.

I'm the only vegan in our familiy - our kids are omni. I don't prepare meat/dairy-containing food for them, but can stomach buying them biscuits containing milk/egg (i.e. things I don't have to touch). I must love them because I wouldn't do it for anyone else

StrangeAndUnusual · 01/04/2017 22:32

my veggie nanny prepares & serves meat for my DC. Never occurred to me that she wouldn't tbh, and she's never complained (though she does have to ask me how to cook things). I buy her the food she asks for for herself.

Xarra · 01/04/2017 23:36

TBH if she's a babysitter, she'll probably have to deal with leather shoes, and other non-vegan things around the house, so... I'd expect her to be fine handling stuff if she's advertising herself as a babysitter...

MidniteScribbler · 02/04/2017 02:43

She shouldn't be bringing her personal choices into the workplace. It would be like a checkout operator refusing to serve a customer who is buying animal products.

Original poster

IsithormonesoramIamadcow · 02/04/2017 07:24

Goodness! No there has been no issue... the babysitter is the daughter of a family friend. (Hence I know she's vegan already) She's not said anything and is not making any fuss, I was just asking as it is our first time having a baby sitter and I wanted her to feel comfortable. I have dietary restrictions myself and like to make sure anyone in my house is able to eat!

OP posts:

Maxwellthecat · 02/04/2017 09:19

I think you're being extremly kind thinking of it but I wouldn't worry about it. If your kids would eat vegan snacks then maybe do that to put your mind at ease but unless she brings it up I wouldn't give it another thought.

LaContessaDiPlump · 02/04/2017 09:22

Yes, you do sound very kind.

Btw, if you were intending to leave a snack for her then Green and Blacks 70% dark choc is vegan-friendly

BeyondThePage · 02/04/2017 09:33

Why doesn't she just get a grip ? She's your staff and doesn't have to be there if she doesn't

no she's not "staff" she is a babysitter, babysitter's are self employed - unless the OP runs a babysitting business or pays tax/NI/pension for her of course.

Qvar · 02/04/2017 10:00

Yes it's fine. Don't ask her, tell her. You're paying her to do a job, if her morals prevent her from doing the job, she can't have the job.

BeyondThePage · 02/04/2017 11:53

which potentially leaves you without a baby sitter when you are on your way out the door...

OreoDream · 02/04/2017 12:41

But you being forkless won't have any impact on the dairy industry? She sounds like a fumdamentalist nutjob, sorry.

Not wanting to touch meat is unlikely to be an ethical standpoint. It's a disgust thing. Some meat eaters not wanting to eat roadkill wouldn't make you think they were fundamentalist nutjobs surely?

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