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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Vegan babysitter?

74 replies

IsithormonesoramIamadcow · 01/04/2017 10:58

AIBU to ask vegan babysitter to serve my kids meat/dairy? Will of course leave suitable snacks for her. I don't expect her to prepare anything (think cheese/ham sandwiches) if you are a vegan what would you think?

OP posts:

Notso · 01/04/2017 12:00

I would expect someone who works as a babysitter to prepare non-vegan food unless they advertise as a specific vegan only babysitter.
What if the children want a drink of milk or need help putting leather shoes on for example.

If she was doing it as a favour I'd be more accommodating.

ollieplimsoles · 01/04/2017 12:04

I'm vegan. I'd be umimpressed if you asked to prepare anything, but I guess what you're describing would be fine. Emphasise that he/she won't have to touch any of it!

Id sack you.

ClaryBeanHorshAndMe · 01/04/2017 12:05

You're paying her, it's at your house.
As long as she doesn't have to actually prepare meat it should be ok imo.

I think it's pretty much a non-issue, tbh.
Getting her some vegan snacks is really decent. Maybe she'll share some with your DC. And who knows? Maybe your child ends up loving tofu, hummus and avocado. There are worse outcomes ;)

ClaryBeanHorshAndMe · 01/04/2017 12:07

Id sack you.

Same...

I woldn't expect a vegan to prepare a roast or anything. But putting some butter on a bread and adding some lettuce etc? Or maybe even a slice of ham?

Idk. If a vegan babysitter can't do that they should go work for a vegan family, I suppose.

alltouchedout · 01/04/2017 12:11

You'd be fine to ask that of her. If she has an issue get rid.

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 · 01/04/2017 12:13

As long as she isn't expected to kill a pig for the ham I think it will be acceptable.

regisitme · 01/04/2017 12:21

I'm vegan and I wouldn't have a problem with it. I have to handle meat every day to feed my pets (not calling your children pets, obviously ).

Agreed - if she only wants to be a vegan babysitter for vegan children then she should advertise as such.

I think you've lovely OP for thinking about her values but ultimately she needs also to understand your values and also your children's needs - particularly if you are paying her.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 01/04/2017 12:28

How do you even know she's vegan? I have no clue about my babysitter's dietary requirements. I point him in the direction of the fridge and cupboard and let him work away and while I probably would do what you're doing and pre-make DS food (if the babysitter was booked over a meal time) and leave it in 'all you have to do is put it on the table' state, I wouldn't dream of asking if my DC's food choices were compatible with the sitter's moral code.

LaContessaDiPlump · 01/04/2017 12:33

Oh no, I've been sacked. How will I cope?!?

BakeOffBiscuits · 01/04/2017 12:37

It's fine and if it's not I'd find another babysitter. You can't seriously restrict your Dcs diet, especially as you say they are quite fussy.

Lauren1983 · 01/04/2017 12:44

YANBU to ask but she may well not want to do it.

A friend of mine is vegan and wouldn't do it as it would mean she'd be complicit in the meat industry. She wouldn't own an animal that eats meat, won't buy meat that someone is eating, would only have a vegan wedding etc. A while ago we ordered takeaway at her house and she wouldn't give me a fork to eat my veggie burger with as it had cheese in it.

OnceMoreIntoTheBleach · 01/04/2017 12:46

Well if she refuses to serve up non-vegan, pre-prepared food, she is severely limiting her client base! Yanbu

ClaryBeanHorshAndMe · 01/04/2017 12:48

lauren

But you being forkless won't have any impact on the dairy industry?

She sounds like a fumdamentalist nutjob, sorry.

Maxwellthecat · 01/04/2017 12:52

I'm vegan and wouldn't have a problem with that at all. I don't mind preparing non vegan food but I wouldn't buy it.
You get used to being around non vegan food, it's not ideal but it's life.
I agree if she didn't want to do this she would say she only wanted vegan families, I think you're over thinking it.

floraeasy · 01/04/2017 12:53

Just tell her that you will have pre-prepared food for the DCs and that you are not a vegan family.

She can then accept or reject the job.

roses2 · 01/04/2017 12:54

Won't she have to feed the one year old ie touch the food and clean the dishes when they are finished, throw away waste etc?

Maxwellthecat · 01/04/2017 12:55

I don't understand. Has she said something to you?

OreoDream · 01/04/2017 12:56

I'm vegan. I wouldn't want to do regular babysitting work for a meat eating family.

I'd say, if it's a one off then make a fair few concessions, if this is her regular job then really she needs to be prepared to handle meat or not do the job.

Personally I'm OK with giving a bottle, pouring milk in tea, serving a meaty sandwich already made. But cooking a bolognese / chicken stir fry, no way!

Lauren1983 · 01/04/2017 12:57

But you being forkless won't have any impact on the dairy industry?

She sounds like a fumdamentalist nutjob, sorry.

I think it's because she wouldn't have wanted to wash it up or use it knowing it had been used to eat dairy? I just ate the burger with my fingers in the end!

I think she's quite a strict vegan although she doesn't think so.
I think there are different levels of veganism and it just depends which one the babysitter is on.

ForalltheSaints · 01/04/2017 12:58

Reasonable if not being asked to prepare food, at least the vegans I know would agree.

Don't forget to dig our your Morrissey CDs for her to listen to!

Ginandpanic · 01/04/2017 13:02

I'm vegan I would do it. I'm not the vegan police however, and they are out there.

ClaryBeanHorshAndMe · 01/04/2017 13:06

lauren

Oh wow.

Well, I mean, as long as you're ok with that it doesn't matter, I suppose...

cRiNKlyCoCkapoo · 01/04/2017 13:18

How do you even know she's vegan?

all the vegans I know are very keen to tell people

Shadowboy · 01/04/2017 13:22

One of the ladies at my daughter nursery is vegan. As part of the job she is expected to feed the children meat as it's not a vegan nursery. My daughter's shoes are leather. She has some woolly jumpers too. I'd be more than miffed if she wouldn't deal with my daughter at the nursery as there are there are no rules as to how I dress her.

JigglyTuff · 01/04/2017 13:24

I think if you're vegan, providing personal care for others is probably not an ideal profession.

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