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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not mind taking DP to work?

35 replies

WasabiNell · 31/03/2017 13:11

He's been without a car for a few weeks now and I've been taking him to work and picking him up on my way home. I honestly do not mind, he's contributing to my petrol and it's only another 10 mins either way plus it's nice to have company in the car when usually I'd be alone Smile.

He's making a massive deal of it though?! Saying he feels terrible I have to drive him and keeps suggesting he'll get a bus/ pay for a taxi. He doesn't seem to believe me when I say I DONT MIND taking him!! He's just text me now saying 'shall I walk down to the main road tonight to make it easier for you, sorry for being such an inconvience I feel terrible about you picking me up!!'

So AIBU to drive him to work when it's fine by me and it's him making a huge deal out of it Confused

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 31/03/2017 13:12

Is he usually a martyr?

floraeasy · 31/03/2017 13:13

How strange!

Wouldn't he do the same for you if it were the other way around?

It's part of helping your partner out during a difficult time.

ErrolTheDragon · 31/03/2017 13:15

Slightly makes me wonder if, were the positions reversed, he would mind doing the same for you.

I suggest you say, honestly, its no skin off my nose, but if it will make you feel better think of something nice to do for me.

gamerchick · 31/03/2017 13:16

Tell him that you know now if the situation was reversed not to ever ask him for lifts because it'll obviously be an inconvenience for him.... with a dead pan face.

Don't keep reassuring him, that gets irritating to have to keep on doing.

Original poster
WasabiNell · 31/03/2017 13:17

Not usually a martyr no which is why it's so bizarre Confused. Good point about him not giving me lifts if the roles were reversed, I hadn't thought of that! But I don't think he'd mind driving me to work if my car was out of action!

OP posts:
HecateAntaia · 31/03/2017 13:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
WasabiNell · 31/03/2017 13:20

I have asked him and he says he just feels bad. He doesn't mind getting the bus though so that wouldn't make him be quiet unfortunately. He passed his driving test quite late (this was before I met him) and when I asked why he said it's because he liked getting the bus. Maybe he doesn't like driving so thinks I hate it too?

OP posts:
Original poster
WasabiNell · 31/03/2017 13:21

I just find it odd! I'd love to be chauffeured to and from work every day!!

OP posts:
FinallyHere · 31/03/2017 13:21

Maybe he would rather take the bus, and is working up to telling you.

Original poster
WasabiNell · 31/03/2017 13:23

He is welcome to Finally! I don't think it's that though, he'd have to get 2 buses and then walk if he did that. I think he's just worried about being a massive inconvenience for some reason.

OP posts:
SurlyValentine · 31/03/2017 13:23

That is a bit strange. Who wouldn't love being chauffeur driven to work and back every day?!

Definitely ask him whether he'd have a problem giving you a lift to and from work if it was your car that was out of action.

Original poster
WasabiNell · 31/03/2017 13:27

I'll ask him tonight on the way home, it might come across a bit arsey in a text Smile.

OP posts:
floraeasy · 31/03/2017 13:28

I think he's just worried about being a massive inconvenience for some reason

Tell him he IS being a massive inconvenience. For banging on about it all the time Grin

HecateAntaia · 31/03/2017 13:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

whattodowiththepoo · 31/03/2017 13:41

Is he an introvert?

Original poster
WasabiNell · 31/03/2017 13:46

I'm not forcing lifts on the poor man, I don't bundle him into the car every morning like an uncooperative toddler Grin. He just mentions it a lot in person/ over texts.

OP posts:
joystir59 · 31/03/2017 13:46

My OH always feels she is inconveniencing me if she asks me to do something for her or if I offer. I love doing things for her. I think in her case it comes from having been very independent and single for a long time.

Original poster
WasabiNell · 31/03/2017 13:46

We're both introverted, him slightly more so.

OP posts:
HecateAntaia · 31/03/2017 13:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GabsAlot · 31/03/2017 13:48

i take my husband in oncee a month due to train times/shifts

he doesnt make a big deal of it no do i-its an early start but it helps out so i dont mind

ask him why he keeps going on abot it

LadyPW · 31/03/2017 13:51

Maybe he just really appreciates it and doesn't want you to feel taken for granted Hmm

BorpBorpBorp · 31/03/2017 13:51

Just tell him that you really don't mind taking him, but you do mind the constant apologising and asking if it's OK.

Original poster
WasabiNell · 31/03/2017 13:52

Maybe Lady!!

Hecate I'll do the same thing on evening, run into his work screaming like an army boot camp general and bundle him into the car. Maybe then he'll get the bus Grin

OP posts:
HecateAntaia · 31/03/2017 14:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mistermagpie · 31/03/2017 14:05

He sounds a bit annoying, but maybe he's not used to people 'doing things' for him for no reason other than just because it's nice. That's quite sad really.

Me and DH work at the same place but I don't drive, so he gives me a lift every single day. Obviously in our situation it would be truly bizarre if he didn't, but I don't think I have ever specifically thanked him for it once -it's just what you do! I do lots of things for him as well BTW, that's how a partnership works.

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