WIBU to drug my husband???

[P1nkSparkles]

Ok I know it's an OTT title, but I'm a woman on the edge due to lack of sleep here...

Husband has hayfever & has always had ridiculous explosive sneezing bouts. Historically this has occasionally been a minor irritation but not too much of an issue.

But now we have a 5 month old baby who absolutely loses it whenever he has one of these bouts - I mean complete meltdown, screaming, hyperventilating, won't go anywhere near him loses it.

Again - I can cope with this, with the exception of at night... he's waking her up - she's hysterical and then he curls up and goes back to sleep while I'm left with a mess of a kid to soothe & I'm getting maybe 3hrs (total and broken) sleep a night.

I totally get it's involuntary & he can't help it, but I've asked him to pick up some anti-histamines incase they help. He's just point blank said they don't. I know for him they don't totally solve the problem - but I really want him to try them just to see if it takes the edge off a bit...

AIBU here?? He does have a hatred of medication and would rather lie in bed feeling sorry for himself than take a paracetamol, but I feel like I need him to suck it up this time. If the antihistamines don't work then fine.... but I kind of feel like he can see how much this is affecting me and I resent his reluctance to at least try them.

Nytol. They are antihistamine - and should make him sleep deeply so not sneeze.

Why are you the one who has to settle the baby when he is the one waking it up? Let him settle the kid. After a couple of nights of drama he'll give in. And for your own peace of mind go sleep somewhere else so you don't interfere.

Terrifying the baby would be a deal breaker for me. Insist he moves to the spare room.

Prevalin really helped me last year. I get awful hay fever and we live in a house with fields at the front and back, but last year I was breastfeeding so didn't want to take my usual antihistamines if I could avoid doing so. Prevalin was safe for me to use though and helped a lot.

I need to get some more in fact as this year the farmers have decided to plant oilseed rape in all the surrounding fields... am feeling personally victimised

He is being really selfish. Let him stay up with the baby next time it happens.

Tell him yhe either gets the anti histamine a PR you're booking both of you in for marriage counselling since he treats you and the baby with such complete unconcern for your needs.

I assume he can't stay up with the baby as the baby is terrified of his sneezes and is frightened. Surely that in itself would make him want to sort it out let alone the sleep deprivation to you and the baby. How would he feel if you had an accident because you were so unnecessarily tired?

Sleep is sacred in this house. I have never understood the obsession with laying next to someone while you and they are unconscious. Being knackered and angry is more of a passion killer surely?!

Tell him to get some over the counter antihistamines and a nasal spray. They are most effective if taken late morning as the pollen count is generally higher noon - evening than in the morning. If they don't work you can get prescription strength antihistamines like fexofenadine from the GP. I went once for mine and now every spring I only need to call for a repeat prescription of them.

Hairspray it was very funny.
At least I thought it was.

The only time I ever sneaked something into my husband's system was my breastmilk in his tea one morning when he'd really fucked me off.
Annoyingly he just drank it.

I actually can't believe how selfish and self absorbed he is being.
Not only is he frightening his daughter he's also wrecking your sleep. Both totally inconsiderate and totally avoidable

Tell him to get those tablets down his neck and pronto.

Why isn't he the one settling the baby?

Because he has frightened the bejaysus out of it i presume!

I read somewhere on facebook that local honey might help, not sure of the science behind it, but a lot of people were very much for it

Turn him out of the bedroom or take yourself and the baby out until he's ready to be a grown up. If he's not willing to at least try the pills for his baby, he's being a little manchild.

The sneezing is involuntary, the impact he is having on you and the baby can be mitigated. He needs to sleep elsewhere, somewhere that won't disturb you. Spare room, sofa, shed - wherever. From tonight and for the forseeable future.

Sleep deprivation is used around the world as a form of torture. He needs to stop torturing you.

Yeah he can't settle her after me sneezes because she is scared... they are quite loud and sudden and startle me sometimes.

I've bought tablets and nasal spray from lloyds and the spare bed is made up with tumble dried linen (although I might send him in there anyway if he hasn't made a GP appointment).

I'll grab a list of all the medication you've suggested and his little project tonight can be to check them online and see if any are contraindicated with his medication.... he can take responsibility for getting some more stuff if this doesn't help.

Thanks all - fingers crossed for some sleep tonight x

Am another who needs prescription antihistamines. Although I prefer the sedating kind to ensure I get some form of sleep too.

Get him to the go, and like you said say if it continues he can sleep on the sofa.

Why cant he settle the baby he's awoken??

Ive used beconaise in the past which is nasel spray which worked well for me. If its disturbing you all he really should go to gp. I hope hes made appointment and you all get a better night sleep

A tent would solve the problem. His choice of course. GP and medication or the tent.

he has another health condition where he has to have monthly blood tests and self administer fortnightly injections
Does he take a Biologic for Rheumatoid Arthritis? Please excuse me for making assumptions.

I was taking HUMIRA (adalimumab), and it worked really well except I developed psoriasis (not psoriatic arthritis - just plain old psoriasis) after taking it for a year, and had to change to a different one.

I don't know if increased allergic reaction is a side effect of any of the biologics, but if his allergies have gotten worse since he started taking a biologic, it could be worth mentioning to his Rheumatologist.

Ignore me if I'm just making incorrect assumptions.

He does take humira actually (but not for RA - but a similar condition).

He called his medical team today for some advice about medication as GP surgery weren't that helpful (I think he sensed I meant business) and they told him his blood tests were fine - so to suck it up and take the antihistamines so he's taken them tonight and no sneezing fits yet (touch wood).

Interesting about humira making allergies worse though... when he's been ill previously he's had steroids and if he's taken them in hayfever season then they've always minimised his hayfever symptoms. I (clearly wrongly) assumed humira would be similar.

I must admit that Humira was life changing for me, but I sometimes wonder what it and Simponee which I now take, are actually doing to my body. Still, they certainly improved the quality of my life.

I honestly don't know how the biologics affected my own allergies, which used to be severe with sneezing fits like your husband's, but I now live in a much cleaner area with less dust mites. Now, however, after about 20 years of allergy injections, they have improved enormously except for itchy eyes, throat and ears.

I thought the title said drug test, I'm a little disappointed now

I kicked my partner out to his mum's for the night when he was suffering from similar sneezing fits. I was sick of him complaining about how terrible he felt while I was sleep deprived and actually looking after our DS. Certainly made him sort out a GP appointment! (Turned out to be an asthma flare up)