WIBU to drug my husband???

[P1nkSparkles]

Ok I know it's an OTT title, but I'm a woman on the edge due to lack of sleep here...

Husband has hayfever & has always had ridiculous explosive sneezing bouts. Historically this has occasionally been a minor irritation but not too much of an issue.

But now we have a 5 month old baby who absolutely loses it whenever he has one of these bouts - I mean complete meltdown, screaming, hyperventilating, won't go anywhere near him loses it.

Again - I can cope with this, with the exception of at night... he's waking her up - she's hysterical and then he curls up and goes back to sleep while I'm left with a mess of a kid to soothe & I'm getting maybe 3hrs (total and broken) sleep a night.

I totally get it's involuntary & he can't help it, but I've asked him to pick up some anti-histamines incase they help. He's just point blank said they don't. I know for him they don't totally solve the problem - but I really want him to try them just to see if it takes the edge off a bit...

AIBU here?? He does have a hatred of medication and would rather lie in bed feeling sorry for himself than take a paracetamol, but I feel like I need him to suck it up this time. If the antihistamines don't work then fine.... but I kind of feel like he can see how much this is affecting me and I resent his reluctance to at least try them.

You need old school antihistimine as that will make him drowsy on top. When my allergies stop me sleeping I take sea sickness medication with a glass of wine and am out cold within the hour. Don't bother your GP, speak to the pharmacist she will be better informed as to possible solutions. If DH won't even try then he should be sleeping outside your bedroom - unless he does over dramatic man sneezes in which case he should be in the shed...

Try histamine - it sometimes works, a homeopath reccommended it to me. I forget the "not really science" behind it, but I have given myself extra histamine before and it's stopped an allergic reaction. It's totally natural too, which may sway him.

(Still keep a stack of antihistamines because I don't quite trust homeopathy).

Sorry - I meant to say thank you all as well, my manners appear to drop off with my sleep.

Tbf to him they are proper explosive snot everywhere sneezes and he gets the swollen face and everything, so he's not being over-dramatic.

And hairspray - I took the drugging thing as a joke too x

DH snores when he's been smoking (on the sly)
He really really snores and wakes the children up scared even from other rooms.
It super pisses me off because I have to then resettle the children who are scared of this growling while he happily snooze on.
I just kick him now

YANBU!

One sort of antihistamines do nothing at all for me (can't remember what they are called), it has to be the loratadine and I take double the recommended dose (as recommended by my Dr) when it's really bad. Also nasal spray is a must.

It can take a couple of weeks for them to build up in the blood stream - it's not instant and your DH will have to persevere. The nasal spray helps in the meantime.

If your DH doesn't want to take medicine when it's just him suffering, that's his look out. When it's making trouble for baby it's just selfish not to take them. You are having disrupted sleep but so is the little one - how terrifying for a little baby to be woken up like that!

Definitely relegated to the spare room until it's sorted and/or put on baby settling duty!

Is it a "anti-taking-any-medication" thing?
If it is, something like prevalin might help?

He knows there are several different types of anti-histamine, right?

So if one drug class doesn't work, try the next one. Once he finds one which works, he'll know!

So, for example, pp suggesting Pirinase as a great cure for hay fever might be utterly pointless for him if that drug doesn't work on his type of allergies.

Whether he could help it or not, it would drive me potty being woken up by that racket. Try a pillow over his face? 😁

Your husband sounds selfish. He clearly doesn't understand the imoact this is having on you and sleep deprivation is really really tough.

I think you will have to ask him to sleep in another room until he seeks medical help. That might be the incentive he needs.

Of course it was a joke, what is it with some posters

"Nothing" worked for me either. (Read: I tried one over the counter tablet and gave up!)

Doctor prescribed this, taken daily (whether symptomatic or not). It builds up in the system and works like a dream.

I think it is extremely inconsiderate to not consider ones health when we are part of a family unit. It would make me feel very frustrated.

Phew I thought it was me for a second there!

Pillow suggestion is good, do you have a shed or garage you could make him sleep in OP?

I suffer horribly from hay fever as does my dad and my DCs. Sometimes coping with it requires more than one product, I find oral antihistamines help a bit, nasal spray and eye drops are useful, a tiny smear of Vaseline at the entrance to the nostrils really helps and is medication free finally sunglasses really help protect eyes from pollen. A drowsy antihistamine can be helpful at night but makes me feel like crap the next day. If he's having sneezing fits at night it may be more than hay fever.
He needs to see his doctor and in the mean time if he wakes the baby he settles her and doesn't just roll over and go back to sleep.

Just remembered, used to have bad allergy ( gone now, thought it was grass pollen, maybe it was exh ) and found a non drug thing that actually helped - Lloyd's pharmacy nasal red light allergy preventer . Sounds unlikely, but it did slowly help.

Ideals of how family life would be post children- yeah, we all had those. Sometimes you have adapt to survive.

He needs to go and see a GP, with you if possible.
You need to explain what is going on (both POV) to them.
And yes he does need to take something. It's unfair both on and on his child (lack of sleep and fear factor on her side)

I have allergies all year round. I take a daily antihistamine and a beclomethasone nasal spray. All available over the counter and sorts out the problem unless pollen is very bad.

Your husband in being extremely selfish not taking medication and I have no time for people who have treatable conditions and refuse to take action. It's selfish and I'd be sending him to another room.

Tbf he has another health condition where he has to have monthly blood tests and self administer fortnightly injections - so I think he's fed up of medication and being poked and prodded... I think this is why I have been marginally more sympathetic than I would usually. But he has historically taken antihistamines (even if he doesn't think they work) which is why I have been so frustrated!!

I've just called him at work and told him he has to make a GP appointment... which I think surprised his slightly (I don't normally call him at work for that kind of stuff) so in order to get me off the phone he has agreed to do that at least & I'll pop down the chemist later.

I will be making up the bed in the spare room later though

Every time he wakes the baby up with his sneezing waken him up and make sure he stays awake until baby settles. Tell him that you need help/company.
He'll be scuttling off to the chemist by the second night, I can assure you.

you can get a machine from Lloyds pharmacy. It is 2 small plugs that you put in your nose and uses red light for desensitisation. Only takes about 2 minutes use 2x day and made a huge difference to me, more so than the antihistamines.

www.hotukdeals.com/deals/lloydspharmacy-allergy-reliever-red-light-therapy-for-hayfever-7-99-1552585

You've the patience of a saint, i get murderous when my DP snores and he doesn't wake the DC (i am pregnant though, so quite enraged generally). I suggest threatening to gouge his eyes out with a spoon if he doesn't go to the GP thats a joke btw and he has to sleep elsewhere in the meantime.

Second the nasal spray linked to above-it's really good (I've suffered for 20 years). I also take prescription antihistamines which have changed my life. (Seriously)

You can get an infra red thing that goes up your nose from Lloyds chemist that is non drug so may be more to your husbands liking-if he wants to look like Rudolph while he's using it, but TBH it does nothing for me.

If he is suffering at this time of year it's likely to be tree pollen, so it might be worth investigating what can be done for that specifically, unless there are allergens in the home he's allergic to?

It's also worth doing the whole decontamination thing-showering before bed, putting clothes on that haven't been line dried, sheets that haven't been line dried, all windows closed, that kind of thing.

But really he needs to wake up to how much he is impacting in you and the baby by ignoring this. He needs to seek out these answers, doesn't he?

In our naive pre-parenting state we always said that for the sake of our marriage we would always go to the same bed - even if we didn't end up staying in it all night, so it would be quite a big thing for me to ask him to sleep in another room. But then maybe actually that's what he needs to make him realise the impact this is having.

But you didn't realise at the time that it would mean you having to function on 3 hours broken sleep a night - what's that doing to your marriage?

At the moment he's alright Jack isn't he? Sneeze, wake everyone up, go to sleep leaving wife to try to console distraught baby. No consequences. TBH he annoys me and I don't even know him.

WTF kind of hay fever does he have that doesn't respond to antihistamines?!

I start taking mine now and take them every day until October and I am relatively symptom free and mine was appalling enough to have to take days off work with it at the beginning. Surely he's taking something?

He's being an arse putting you both through this.

julia suggestion about line dried clothes /bedlinen if it's tree pollen is a really good one

I can't understand why he wouldn't want to take anti histamines. He sounds incredibly selfish.