To ask for your beauty horror stories (horror at bikini wax today)

[ohtheshameshameshame]

So I went for my first bikini wax in over two years today. Dc is 18 months and I was last waxed in early pregnancy. Wasn't quite as bad as I thought (was hairy mess but beautician was lovely and pain not too great). So far, so good.

Lovely beautician asked if I could 'just hold this out the way'. I start looking for stray bit of shirt, towel, paper napkin things, looking for something to hold out the way before the horror descended and I realised she meant my c-section flab. Yes that's right. My actual stomach.

Oh the shame. Imagine being asked to hold your actual stomach out of the way of the hair you've been growing on your vag for two years. Thankfully i have a sense of humour and

Name changed due to embarrassment and horror.

Spill ladies - worst beautician moments.

I'm not saying your the same but when I'm on my hands and knees my stomach (and breasts) hangs like an udder

Apart from that no embarrassing stories sorry.

OP at least you have wine to make it better.
I think mine was when my youngest was 3 months old and I was breastfeeding.

I had gone to the salon to get my eyebrows waxed and left baby at home.

I arrived at the salon and there was a mother in there with her newborn in the car seat (she was having her nails done) the beautician was busy waxing me when the baby started to cry and then 2 minutes later the beautician said to me do you need a tissue? I looked at her confused and said no i'm fine. She then glanced down at my boob area and I had 2 massive wet patches of breastmilk leakage.

It was that bad it had gone through my bra breastpads and my top. I also had to walk home like that.

I blamed my stupid brain and hormones did they not realise that wasn't MY baby crying.

Years ago, I went for my usual bikini wax with my usual beautician. We were chatting about our plans for the weekend, she had a hot date with an amazeballs new guy, I was still busy on the 'all men are bastards and I'm devastated' phase of my recent breakup...

Went out 2 night later, bump into bikini wax lady waiting at the bar. We chit chat just waiting to get served when her date decides to join us. Yep, it was my bastard ex... we said an uncomfortable hello to each other after she tried to introduce us, which then led to her asking him how we knew each other.

I have never been in a more awkward situation . I ended up ordering a shitload of shots to drown out the evening.

I went for a facial and the beautician said Ok, we will start with a massage.

Without thinking, I leapt up onto the table face down in the hole thingy, thinking she was going to massage my back and shoulders.

She said "What are you doing, I am going to massage your face?"

Hilarious and awful - I feel better already 😂

Ok is no one going to make me feel like I'm not the freak with an udder for a stomach? or am oh fuck am I the only one

TBH ginky I'm scared to get in the position to check! I've been through enough today 😂

Ha Ginky - no, you're not alone!

I have to hold my flabby apron up for ultrasounds and midwife checks I have no idea what's under there - I just hope it's clean and tidy.

Ginky you're definitely not the only one!

Went to get my eyebrows waxed and tinted,
Got all comfortable and she begins. She says
"So when are you due?"
"Due for what?"
"Are you not pregnant?"
"No."
Silence for the rest of the treatment.

Ffs.

Since then I've had cashiers comment (while I was buying a congratulations on your baby card)

Oh congratulations!! When is he due?

I couldn't help myself, that was a whole other level of stupidity,
"Why on earth would I be buying myself a card for my own baby?!?!"
She went red and gave me my change.
It's happened a LOT since then.
I need to lose some weight :(

Sorry Disney but that's made me snort! Just reminded me of the stupid things babies make us do!

Bitbhad a baby but have had to hold up my flab rolls...I'm a size 16.

Ah the lovely c section overhang. Known as the apron in our house.
I am not brave enough to go for bits waxing so have not had to go through that.
I had a horribly embarrassing moment earlier when I realised just how long and black my leg hairs were half way throu dtd. Come to think about it 'the apron' wobble can make dtd interesting too.

Especially in what will now be known as 'the cow position' 🐮 Thanks for that Ginky

Apron is so much more ladylike a term than gunt.
But I prefer gunt.

This is going to be totally outing if anyone knows me on here. I went to get my eyebrows threaded. It was at a funny little shop in the middle of a precinct. The lady didn't speak much English and I went in on a whim as I just fancied having it done. She started dying my eyelashes, and I said no, thats not what I asked for but she said "don't worry dahling, I will make you look beautiful." I am very pale and at the time my hair was blond. Well I looked like Groucho Marx by the time she finished. They were so, so dark! So I had a brainwave, nipped to Tesco in the evening and picked up some hair dye and went brunette. I got so many compliments I've stayed like this. So it was kind of a happy accident!

I don't really do treatments and I once went for a 'facial' to help a trainee and was horrified to be given a changing cubicle and dressing gown to 'take all clothes off'. I literally took off everything and had to lie on massage bench for facial, albeit with gown still on, acutely aware of everyone else in the room wearing underwear.

@Ginkypig I'm in the udders club.
Also some of my friends have muffin tops, after 3 sections mine is more of a failed soufflé top. Last time I went to my local salon I was pregnant (with my now ex) and in conversation discovered the girl cutting my hair, another beautician and the bloody receptionist had all slept with my baby's dad at some point and none of it had ended well. I was pregnant with our second son and it was the most awkward appointment. Cannot imagine if I was there for a wax. Never been back

I went to get my eyebrows waxed yesterday and the lady said "you want me to do your moustache too"? In a VERY loud voice. She then repeated it when I looked at her blankly.

I didn't realise I had one!

Oddsocks wins!!!

Oh thank fuck for that!

the cow position

Went for a spa day with SIL and had identical treatments
During the massage the therapist lifted the towel and massaged my boobs for ages......I thought erm bit odd but obviously part of the treatment, looking back I was so naive it was full on nipple twiddling sensual massage ....
anyway, out I went and said to sil "that was nice, except the boob and nipple massage bit! Maybe it's something to do with lymphatic drainage ??!"

The look of absolute shock on her face and then she muttered "nobody touched my boobs" !

Oddsocks!

I went for a spray tan at a place is not been to before. The woman said "I'm just going to do under here" and lifted my boobs up! The shame

Went to have my eyelashes threaded. The beautician asked if I wanted my top lip doing too...
Wasn't aware that I had a 'tache...