To be a little worried about this girl?

[Brokenbiscuit]

DD is 11 and in year 7. She has a lovely group of friends and is generally very easy-going, gets on with everyone.

Among her group of friends is a girl who went to the same primary school as her. They weren't in the same class but became quite close in Year 6. The girl - we'll call her Charlotte - has been to our house a number of times and dd has been to hers. She is a lovely girl, and her mum also seems lovely.

Recently, though, my dd has been getting really annoyed with this friend, as she regularly seems to tune out of conversations and stop listening, then she suddenly comes out of her little dream world and demands to know what everyone is talking about. This can make her come across as quite nosy, as she demands to know what people were talking about -despite having been there and not listening! I think she may just be afraid that she has missed something interesting.

In addition to this, she also seems to tune out in class, and is constantly asking my dd what she is supposed to be doing in lessons - they are in the same sets for everything, so this goes on all day, and it's really starting to get dd down. Charlotte is extremely bright and has always been very hardworking and conscientious in the past, so I don't think it's that she doesn't understand or can't be bothered. She just seems to tune out.

DD has tried in various ways to let Charlotte know that this behaviour is really annoying, jokingly at first and then gently but more seriously. DD is quite tactful by nature and really doesn't want to upset Charlotte, but she is now finding the situation so annoying that she doesn't want to be around her much. Charlotte hasn't said much when dd has pointed out what she is doing, but she has become upset when others have expressed their annoyance more bluntly. However, the behaviour doesn't change.

Initially, I wondered if she might have something like adhd or an auditory processing disorder or something, but dd is convinced that this behaviour is relatively new - just the last few months. I'm therefore wondering what might be causing this behaviour - just hormones/normal pre-teen behaviour, our something more worrying? I'm also concerned that Charlotte may become increasingly isolated socially as others find it difficult to be around her - I'm pretty sure that dd won't be unkind to her in any way, but I think she may start to avoid her, and I can't say I really blame her. Some of Charlotte's other friends are absolutely exasperated with her.

Any thoughts? I am friendly with Charlotte's mum, but don't know her well enough to say anything.

Could be absence epilepsy - or she could just be a dreamer.

The first thought that came into my mind was what is called 'petit mal' which is a form of epilepsy. It doesn't involve the typical seizures most people associate with epilepsy,but 'absences', which look as if the person has 'tuned out' rather like you describe. I'm not a medical professional though so don't take my word for it. She really needs to see a doctor.

maybe she is bored

brokenbiscuit yes, his grand mal was very scary but he thankfully has no memory of it! We had suspected for a while that something wasn't right, but put it down to finishing primary and starting high school PLUS the whole teenage thingy.

At primary school, his reports were generally good, but he lacked attention and would day dream often. I'm ashamed to admit that I did give him a bit of hassle about day dreaming feel bloody rotten about it now thankfully at his high school, some of the teachers are well trained (or have family members with epilepsy so know the signs).

When he has an absence, he stops talking etc and just stares through you. Sometimes his mouth will move a little, and then after 20-30 seconds, he will snap back but has lost that time and doesn't know he's had one, let alone know what's going on. He is exhausted though after having a run of these (specialist said his poor brain can't rest even has them when he's sleeping). He was having these many times a day, and it was picked up on EEGs after the hospital decided to investigate. It took him a while to accept it, but he knows the medication helps. It means it will stop him from being a pilot or in the forces when he's older but he's ok with this now.

"I'm sure you're aware of this, but my dd is mentioning a slight issue with her friend Charlotte that started about ago.
When they're talking, she seems to zone out briefly and not be aware afterwards that she's missed something.
It's happening when they're talking as friends and in class and the teachers are assuming she's daydreaming, but I am concerned as this seems unlike the Charlotte from last year.
Please pass this onto anyone you feel it would be able to help Charlotte as it seems to be impacting her day-to-day school life"

Slight edit to Witchend's suggestion - not sure if that is better or worse?